Psychologists have analysed relationships good and bad for over 40 years. They noted the kinds of behaviour that predicted whether couples would stay together or end up in the divorce courts. But, it’s really just common sense and doesn’t take a long study by psychologists to understand that these behaviours won’t make for a long, happy relationship. (from an article by psy blog)
Criticism We all may make a little complaint every now and again – it’s human nature – but it’s the type of criticism that criticises the other’s core being that is so destructive.
Contempt It may be sarcasm, name calling, mimicking or eye-rolling. It makes the other feel worthless and certainly not valued by their partner.
Defensiveness Trying to make excuses for failures and slip-ups instead of taking ownership and working on fixing the slip-up or mistake or oversight. Partners should support each other and be a united front.
Stonewalling This is when a person cuts off communication. They don’t make any attempt to connect or respond. It can often be the result of a long time of criticism, contempt and defensiveness.
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