A Table For Six
6 min read
Become the Person You Want to Be With
March 04, 2023
When you have been through a few relationships you tend to get a little closed up and push people away from you. This is completely understandable. It’s natural for humans to put up their defence mechanisms to avoid getting hurt again. Sometimes, you also build up an expectation about the next person you see yourself with. You would think “The next person I date requires x, y and z otherwise they are not for me”. This is where things start to get difficult. If you have built an expectation in your head about the person you want to date, you will never get past the other great qualities they have to offer.
What’s Wrong With Going For What I Want?
Absolutely nothing! Dating doesn’t mean lowering your expectations. We believe in the fact that not all the good ones are taken. We want you to attract the best version of what you have in mind. If you are single and looking for the next person who may be “the one”, the first thing you need to do is to focus on yourself.
Jim Rowan has a famous quote where he said,
I will take care of me for you and you take care you for me.
This quote is so simple yet holds such a deep meaning. If you are waiting for someone to come into your life who will fix all of your problems then you will probably never meet them. To put it simply, no one can read minds. A person you find attractive is not going to pop up out of the blue. To attract the people you like you must become visible to them by showing similar interests.
If you have built up an image of the person you want to date to be someone who is successful and career driven, ask yourself if you are that person first. If you want to date someone who is fit and healthy, you need to be involved in activities that keep you fit and healthy.
Where do I start?
Many times we tell ourselves that we are fine with the way our life is and that we don’t need to change anything. We come across a lot of people who confuse being content with being happy. Being content means you are no longer looking for any change and you are doing just fine the way you are. On the other hand, if you are happy you are always striving to go out of your way to find that feeling.
The best place to start is your health. If you find yourself thinking “I will wait for the right person to come so that I have a reason to start looking after myself,” then there is no time like the present! Look after yourself before you look after others.
The next aspect of your life to look after is your friends. The people you surround yourself with reflect a lot about who you are. Surprisingly enough, it is the best way to spread your energy into the world. Many believe that you absorb a lot from the people around you. Humans are known to reflect the actions of the person they interact with. Take a step back and look at the group of friends you surround yourself with. Would you be interested in getting to know your group of friends if you didn’t already know them?
The last point is to check in with your mind. Your mind has the ability to learn and grow as you age. Just like every other muscle in your body, your brain needs constant training and stimulation for it to function well. The training for your brain could come in many forms, playing problem-solving games, painting, learning to play an instrument or even learning a new language. If you are not up for picking up a new skill, even improving the hobbies you currently have could make a big impact on your mental stimulation. For example, if you are a casual golfer, commit to increasing your ability to lower your handicap or shoot a specific score. Your activity should require some level of constant practice, but the goal is not to strive for vast improvements. It is the constant repetition of working to improve, and not the quest for mastery, that can have the greatest impact.
Eventually, these three aspects of your life will work together to improve you as a person. Who wouldn’t want to meet someone in good health that is always surrounded by great company and is always up for interesting conversations?