Where are you going? Who is going with you?
The words of Neale Donald Walsch who became well know from his writing of the series of books called “Conversation with God” are resonating with me at the moment. In order to hopefully pass on some useful information, I have sought out his writings on the subject of relationships. His words on this topic are clear.
The “Conversations with God” books tell us that the purpose of relationships is not to find someone to meet all of our needs, or to make us happy, but to experience ourselves in an extraordinary way. As a person who has no needs! The most important step to take is one that most people have never taken or thought too much about. We must decide who we are and who we choose to be. Not only in a significant relationship, but also to all of life.
Without having made this decision, life can be like aimlessly bumping into people and situations; becoming discontented, angry, disillusioned or frustrated.
These books announce “Masters enter into relationships – not as someone who seeks to receive, but as someone who seeks to give.” This doesn’t mean necessarily to give money or gifts, but to seek to freely give the essence of who they really are.
Walsch writes “The true and only purpose of relationship is to announce and declare, express and fulfill, experience and become who you really are…there can be only two questions that are asked with regard to human relationships:
1. Where are am I going?
2. Who is going with me?
But very few people understand romantic relationships in this way.
Walsch writes, “The first person that I have to be truly loving with, is myself. Loving oneself does not mean being selfish. It means loving yourself enough to be authentically YOU even if it looks like doing so will cause others to depart.”
His writings say that when you speak your truth, some may depart from your life, but others will join you in a new and powerful way because they resonate with who you are. They are people who have the same intentions and the same goals and they feel a harmony with you. They may not be the same as you in certain ways. Something that is very important, he writes, is that people cannot know (and nor can you) whether or not they are compatible unless they know who you are in your truthful self.
Walsch invites us to love ourselves enough to speak our deepest truth to everyone whose life we touch. He goes on ” The willingness to lose another rather than hold them in your life under false pretenses is the highest act of love. And the irony of all this is that having the courage to share what it is that you are certain will drive the other person away—is very often precisely what inspires them to stay. For they then know that they are not living with an “image” of you, but with a reality. A truth. The authentic article. The real thing.”
In his article, Walsch finishes by inviting us to “Just tell the truth. Say the words that will be welcomed, and the words that you know will not. Be brave. Be courageous. Be authentic. Be truthful. And in so doing, be the essence of love itself.”