Category Archives: Finding love

10 things that shouldn’t be repeated in relationships

10 things that shouldn’t be repeated in relationships

We have all made mistakes in relationships. Sometimes our mistakes have a catastrophic effect on our lives. And sometimes we can see with clarity what went wrong quiet quickly.

10 things that shouldn't be repeated in relationships

10 things that shouldn’t be repeated in relationships

But to have successful relationships, the important thing is to recognise our destructive patterns, make different choices, and then keep our awareness focused so that we don’t go back to making bad choices.

In his book “Never Go Back”, author Dr Henry Cloud lists ten insights that will keep us from sabotaging our lives in a repeating pattern. His method is based on grace, instead of making ourselves feel guilty for past mistakes.

Dr Cloud lists these insights as things never to return to;

Return to what has worked. We should never go back to something that ended and expect different results.

Do anything that requires them to be someone they are not. We should ask ourselves questions. Does this suit me? Is this sustainable? Why am I really doing this?

Try to change another person. We can only ever change ourselves, never another person. People will learn their own lessons in their own time as part of their journey.

Believe you can please everyone. When we chase the goals of others instead of pursuing our own dreams, we are not being guided by our instinct. Whatever you do, it should come from who you are and your unique gifts and talents.

Choose short-term comfort over long-term benefit. Successful people understand that they may need to step outside their comfort zone and experience some “pain”. They understand it will give them a long-term benefit and follow through.

Trust someone or something that appears flawless. We are all attracted to perfection, exceptional or high performing people. But life and people are rarely perfect. If someone or something appears to have no flaws, proceed with caution.

Take their eyes off the big picture. There will always be days when we loose sight of our overall aims and goals. Move on and refocus. The whole story is written over weeks, months and years, not a single day.

Neglect to do due diligence. Always take the time to take a look into the background and find out the details. You owe it to yourself.

Fail to ask why they are where they find themselves. To regularly ask themselves what part they are playing in the current situations in their lives, is one of the most important characteristics of successful people. They understand they are not victims, but create their own circumstances.

Forget their inner life determines their outer success. Who we are on the inside and the beliefs we hold about ourselves largely contribute to our external circumstances.

Achievers recognise the mistakes they are making and to decide to never repeat them. Don’t worry; there are always more lessons to learn.

Use what talents you posses.
The woods would be very silent
if no birds sang except those that sang best.”
~Henry Van Dyke

Let your unique gifts and talents shine this week,
Margaret Newitt
Franchisor
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
lic no 3338670

A Table for Six

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231 Days until Valentine’s Day 2017

231 Days until Valentine’s Day 2017

Tonight when you lay your head on your pillow, will you feel good about the extra overtime you did? Will you feel pleased about the getting to work a little earlier and staying later to complete those extra tasks? There are 231 days until Valentine’s day 2017. When you look back, will you feel extra happiness because you were the highest achiever in your office? OR will you wish you had made time to create more pleasure in your life? Will you wonder who could have been by your side enjoying Valentine’s day with you?

231 Days until Valentine’s Day 2017

231 Days until Valentine’s Day 2017

Recently, I have been aware that for many people taking the step to join our dinner groups, or for that matter any new group of people, can be a frightening thought. People who are successful and confident in most areas of their lives can feel daunted and self conscious when it comes to taking a step to meet new friends or a partner.

Our expertise is in aiding people to get what they really want in what is the most important area of their lives. We have the vehicle and can  help you with the tools to find your new set of friends or partner. The people we work with make permanent changes in their lives.

Here are some tips to help you enjoy meeting new singles.

1. Have an open mind and focus on the positive possibilities when meeting new people.Suspend your judgements and concerns and especially don’t read negative things into them or the situation. Be positive, open and notice the laughs and interesting opinions.

2. Put your focus on them and really listen to what they are saying. Notice their body language, eye contact and smiles. Don’t; get stuck on your own thoughts and concerns.

3. Everyone has an interesting story to tell. Have a curiosity about their lives and try to find their unique perspective.

4. When meeting new people, keep the conversation on positive and fun topics. Asking about dramatic, Traumatic and negative events will bring the conversation and mood down.

5. Share your good stuff too. Share a little about yourself that you particularly like too.Teach them something about yourself as well. Let them be curious about you too and share some fun and interesting information.

Here is a review written by a lady who regretted waiting so long to join in on our dinners.

Don’t let your nerves hold you back for 2 years like mine did……...

5 out of 5, reviewed on Feb 09, 2016
Margaret this is a wonderful business, its only my second dinner but for me to ‘get out’ there was nothing short of a miracle.

I must say how delighted I am to have found people in the same boat, its amazing we all think we are the odd one out and no one else is out there ……well Table for 6 surely has provided opportunities and ‘safety’. Nothing quite like it, I really did not believe there was anything that I would feel comfortable at so thank you so very much.

It took me about two years to actually work up to joining………. Laughing out loud now at hesitating.

People really are so similar with the most basic of needs to have wonderful friends and maybe find that special ‘one’.

Cannot thank you enough 

Cathie Bayliss

We want our members to overcome their fears. Try something new and different, so you can have the results you desire. And a different result when you lay your head on your pillow in the near future.

There are 231 days until Valentine’s day 2017.

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

A Table for Six

Meet at dinner? 8 good reasons

  • Who will I meet at dinner? Before you attend our dinners, remind yourself that you may meet the man/woman of your dreams. But, even if you don’t, he/she may live next door to them. Or, you never know, he/she may invite you along to meet a group of their friends with lots of interesting singles. Someone at dinner may just inspire you to get involved with a hobby or interest you have been putting off for so long. They may inspire you to book that trip to Europe you have been dreaming of.
    It’s important to be pro-active in  going out to meet at dinner, but it’s not possible to know how a partner may appear to you. The most important thing is to remember that even if you don’t meet a partner at a particular dinner, it will lead to new, diverse, interesting experiences you would never have enjoyed and discovered if you hadn’t attended.Mid age couples enjoying meal
    This is who you will meet at dinner.

    They are tired of Singles who lie about wanting a real, long term relationship.

    They need opportunities for Singles to meet at dinner where there’s no pressure and it’s all about having fun and making new connections first.

    They crave meeting people and having that feeling of “Ah, these people really get me.”

    They haven’t been able to figure out where to find all the decent Singles who have dealt with their baggage and have an open heart.

    They struggle to deal with Singles who just want to be able to tick off their list of requirements.

    They secretly yearn to meet someone who makes the journey seem like the time is right, the place is right and the connection is definitely right.

    They are looking for their new best friend.

    They want to have that special connection with a partner who treats them with love and kindness, expressed through kind thoughts, loving words and kind actions.

    “Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
    — A.A. Milne
    Do any of these resonate with you?
    Are there any others you would add to our list?
    Is that the sort of person you are?

  • Subscribe to my weekly blog here
    Margaret Newitt
    www.atableforsix.com.au
    info@atableforsix.com.au
    1300 885 311

10 Secrets to Finding True Love

10 Secrets to Finding True Love

Dr Wayne Dyer is a well known author and speaker in the area of self-development. In his book “10 secrets of Success” he lists 10 powerful ideas for changing your life (and mine too).
10 secrets to finding true love

The 10 secrets are listed below. But, my favourite at the moment is number 8: Treat yourself as if you already are what you’d like to be.

If you’re single or dating and would like to be in a loving relationship, act as if you already have a loving relationship. If you focus your thoughts, visualize and feel as if this is already your reality, the universe will conspire to bring you what you believe is your reality.. The more you see yourself in a loving relationship, the more inspired you are, which sets the momentum in your favor.

In your relationship with your partner, act as if what you would like to have is already here. If you want loving interactions, clearly visualize this and expect loving interactions to take place

The Ideal Approach

In a romantic relationship, love the person enough by allowing him/her to be exactly who he/she is and what he/she chooses to be, without expecting anything and being attached to an outcome. If you can do this, you’ll find lasting love and inner peace. True love is about loving a person for who they are, not for what you think they should be.

Which secrets will you practice in your love life?
Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing.

Don’t die with your music still in you.

You can’t give away what you don’t have.

Embrace silence.

Give up your personal history.

You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.

There are no justified resentments.

Treat yourself as if you already are what you’d like to be.

Treasure your divinity.

Wisdom is avoiding all thoughts that weaken you.

Subscribe to my weekly blog here

Act as if this week.A Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

Dating goals-The 5 best questions to ask

  • Dating goals-The 5 best questions to ask-When our members first join A Table for Six, I always ask them “What would you like to gain from your membership?”
    The purpose of this question is firstly so that I can note what their goals are in regard to attending our dinners and meeting our members. But even more importantly, it gives our members the opportunity to become clear on their goals for themselves.In every area of our lives, It is important to define your goals. Would you set out on a holiday with no clear plan or destination to guide you? Most probably not. Having some goals is an important method of deciding what you want to achieve in your life,  keeping yourself motivated and on track and building your self-confidence as you notice you have successfully achieved some goals.

    Dating goals-the 5 best questions to ask

    No pressure, Just fun relaxed dinners with quality, like, minded Singles

     

    You may want to simply expand your social circle to include three new friends this year. (That would be great, wouldn’t it?) Or a high goal may be to meet your potential life partner in six weeks.

    Here are some questions you could ask yourself to help you become clear on your goals:
    ♥Do I want to meet  single people for friendship, or focus on meeting a partner?
    ♥What activities do I enjoy where I could potentially meet other Singles I would enjoy meeting?
    ♥How much time do I have to spend sourcing potential singles before I meet them?
    ♥How much time do I want to spend attending events etc. meeting Singles?
    ♥What could I do to give myself a better chance of meet desirable Singles? Such as a new hairdo or loosing some weight.

    It’s true that dating involves some luck, timing, chemistry, similar goals and values. But people fall in love everyday. So if it hasn’t happened to you yet, it means that you need to meet more people.

  • Subscribe to my weekly blog here
  • Define your dating goals this week.A Table for Six
    Margaret Newitt
    www.atableforsix.com.au
    info@atableforsix.com.au
    1300 885 311
    Lic no 3338670

Life comes to you when you declare who you are and what you want!

Life comes to you when you declare who you are and what you want!

It’s your energy that is continually letting life, the cosmic angels (and other singles) know what you want for yourself. They are continually scanning for hearts that are hungry, intense enthusiasm, a willingness to take bold risks, a brilliant shining light that shimmers with sincerity and boldness.

That’s how it works! You need to be visible, turn up and make an audacious appearance to be found!

Life is continually picking up on the signals you are sending out.

If you’d love to meet a new amazing partner, or ramp up your single social life, boldly declare it to yourself and your friends. Then, in your everyday life, be your true self. Say what you believe, contact that old friend you’ve often thought about, wear that shirt/dress, dance as though no one’s watching! Go along to that singles dinner. Do whatever it is that makes you feel authentically you and how you most want to feel. Let life (and that amazing single woman or man) know that you are here and this is exactly who you are.

Now life can find you. Instead of searching for you amidst the restraint and suppression. How can the cosmos find you amongst all the complaining, negative thoughts, unnecessary shopping, drinking and excuses?

Boldly declare you are a worthy person who deserves an extraordinary relationship and life. Then trust with certainty that the universe has recognised your valour. The cosmic angels are going to alert the universe once they notice you have claimed the life you desire. Once you boldly asked with an open heart for what you truly want. Once you speak up, all the helpful forces of the universe move into action to help you move closer to what you want.

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Subscribe to my weekly blog here

Be a bold shimmering light this week,
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
info@atableforsix.com.au
lic no 3338670

Would you like to meet someone who really gets you?

Do you ever feel as though you would like to meet someone who gets you? You know the feeling when you meet someone new and you really have the feeling that this person is listening and actually hearing what you are saying. You feel as though they are, if even for a moment, stepping into your shoes and experiencing your journey.

Or, would you like to meet people or a partner who appreciates what you do for them? People who acknowledge what you bring to their life? They value the time you set aside to help you move house, or even the time they happily took you out when you were feeling a little low.

Neale Donald Walsch, the author of the “Conversations with God” series of books, has this message for us: Be the source. In his “conversations”, he received this message: “I was advised by God to no longer be the Seeker, but to be the Source in the life of another of that which I had been seeking in my own life. “What flows through you, sticks to you.”

Most of us have heard the message: Do unto others, as you would have it done unto you. I think most of us interpret this as meaning that if you wish to be treated well, you should treat others well. But, Walsch interprets this to have a further meaning. “When you cause others to have the experience that you wish to have, you, too, must eventually have it.”

We have most probably read that you cannot give away that which you do not have. But it turns out that the act of giving something to another causes you to notice that you have it to give- and that you had it all along.

Walsch says that once he got this message, everything began to make sense- including the teaching that none of us is really “creating” anything, but merely noticing that is already there.

If you would like to experience a grander, more loving, more fulfilled version of yourself, this will come back to you. See the best version of another and let them know that you see it. Help them to see the grandest version of themselves by being a mirror and showing them their reflection.

Many people have listened to people who have told them they are not good enough. They have told themselves the same story and now believe it is true. If you are someone who gives others a rich experience of who they really are, you will be enriched as well.

Blessings

Margaret Newitt

www.atableforsix.com.au

1300 885 311

info@atableforsix.com.au

Lic no 3338670

If you manage a relationship with the inspiration to improve, appreciate, connect, or protect, it will florish.

We are continuing on with exploring  how male and females are wired differently in relation to how they react in their significant relationships. The interesting information is from a book called “Why women talk and men walk.”

The differences are present at birth with baby girls, from day one being more sensitive to isolation and lack of contact. This could have evolved as an important survival skill so that females kept in contact with their offspring and also with others in the group who could protect her. A woman could have fallen prey if left alone, so over the millennia, females developed an internal GPS that keeps them aware of closeness and distance in  all of their relationships.

When a woman feels close, she can relax, when she feels distant, she feels anxious. This heightened sensitivity to isolation makes a female react strongly to another person’s anger, withdrawal, silence, or other sign of unavailability. To be out of contact can be frightening.

Men have a hard time understanding a woman’s fear and the pain associated with it. One reason is that a woman’s fear provokes shame in a man: “You shouldn’t be afraid with me as your protector!” This is why he gets angry when she gets anxious or upset. But men also just don’t know what a woman’s fear feels like.

It is not our innate differences in fear and shame that drive us apart: it is how we manage the differences. If you manage them with criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, or blame, your relationship will fail: it’s as simple as that. If you manage them with the inspiration to improve, appreciate, connect, or protect, your relationship will flourish. But it takes some conscious attention to overcome the force of habits that began forming very early in your life.

 

Men and women want the same closeness in a relationship-so why is it often lost?

Last week I wrote about how men and women are wired differently and how fear and shame can cause a loving close relationship to become disconnected. This interesting information is from a book called “Why women talk and men walk” by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny.

Research and clinical experiences show that men and women clearly want the same closeness and connection from a relationship. So why do many couples end up feeling like they have lost that closeness they felt early in their relationship?

The male – female disconnection is the biggest factor in the soaring divorce rate. Some 80% of divorcees say they “grew apart” – tragic and unnecessary.

Female orientated attempts are often aimed at “talking” to her man. But this is often a huge failure. Because their problem is not about “communication.” It’s about disconnection. They are disconnected because they have poor communication; they have poor communication because they are disconnected. In a new relationship, when they felt connected, they talked for hours on end. She exposed vulnerable feelings to him, he responded with protectiveness and support. She fell in love because she felt emotionally connected to him, and her belief that he would be there for her quelled all her fears.

He fell in love because he felt emotionally connected to her. She made him feel important and successful as a lover, protector and provider, which reduced any threat of feeling inadequate.

The best chance of saving a disconnected relationship is to return to this state of mutually soothing and empowering connection.

My next newsletter will talk about how to regain a deep connection and perhaps even at a deeper level.

Create your own results

I have a single friend who watches too many current affairs TV shows. She talks a lot about how it’s so difficult to meet a partner today. Even talks about how people are being conned by unscrupulous people who pretend to be something they are not and take unsuspecting single’s money.

Her whole attitude oozes, “Why even try to go out and meet a partner? It’s too hard. If I go to bars, there are only losers there. Or they end up being married.”

While I understand how she feels (we’ve all felt that way at times), it’s important to take a moment to put things into perspective.

We all create our own outcomes. And while we should be aware of what is going on in the singles world, you should put your focus on creating your own results.

Why not shift your mindset from one of “it’s too hard” and fixing what’s wrong, to one of focusing on what you really want. Decide that this is the year you create a life of supportive friends and or a loving partner.

But you can’t just talk about it. You’ve got to move your body and take action.

I invite you to turn off the TV, contact us and find out about how you can take advantage of our dinners and events to meet singles just like you.

If you contact me, I will discuss what it takes to make changes in your life, how to tame those fears that may surface along the way, and how to ensure you stay in the positive mindset. Otherwise, you may fall back into thinking it’s all too hard.