Category Archives: Finding love

10 Secrets to Finding True Love

10 Secrets to Finding True Love

Dr Wayne Dyer is a well known author and speaker in the area of self-development. In his book “10 secrets of Success” he lists 10 powerful ideas for changing your life (and mine too).
10 secrets to finding true love

The 10 secrets are listed below. But, my favourite at the moment is number 8: Treat yourself as if you already are what you’d like to be.

If you’re single or dating and would like to be in a loving relationship, act as if you already have a loving relationship. If you focus your thoughts, visualize and feel as if this is already your reality, the universe will conspire to bring you what you believe is your reality.. The more you see yourself in a loving relationship, the more inspired you are, which sets the momentum in your favor.

In your relationship with your partner, act as if what you would like to have is already here. If you want loving interactions, clearly visualize this and expect loving interactions to take place

The Ideal Approach

In a romantic relationship, love the person enough by allowing him/her to be exactly who he/she is and what he/she chooses to be, without expecting anything and being attached to an outcome. If you can do this, you’ll find lasting love and inner peace. True love is about loving a person for who they are, not for what you think they should be.

Which secrets will you practice in your love life?
Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing.

Don’t die with your music still in you.

You can’t give away what you don’t have.

Embrace silence.

Give up your personal history.

You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.

There are no justified resentments.

Treat yourself as if you already are what you’d like to be.

Treasure your divinity.

Wisdom is avoiding all thoughts that weaken you.

Subscribe to my weekly blog here

Act as if this week.A Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

Dating goals-The 5 best questions to ask

  • Dating goals-The 5 best questions to ask-When our members first join A Table for Six, I always ask them “What would you like to gain from your membership?”
    The purpose of this question is firstly so that I can note what their goals are in regard to attending our dinners and meeting our members. But even more importantly, it gives our members the opportunity to become clear on their goals for themselves.In every area of our lives, It is important to define your goals. Would you set out on a holiday with no clear plan or destination to guide you? Most probably not. Having some goals is an important method of deciding what you want to achieve in your life,  keeping yourself motivated and on track and building your self-confidence as you notice you have successfully achieved some goals.

    Dating goals-the 5 best questions to ask

    No pressure, Just fun relaxed dinners with quality, like, minded Singles

     

    You may want to simply expand your social circle to include three new friends this year. (That would be great, wouldn’t it?) Or a high goal may be to meet your potential life partner in six weeks.

    Here are some questions you could ask yourself to help you become clear on your goals:
    ♥Do I want to meet  single people for friendship, or focus on meeting a partner?
    ♥What activities do I enjoy where I could potentially meet other Singles I would enjoy meeting?
    ♥How much time do I have to spend sourcing potential singles before I meet them?
    ♥How much time do I want to spend attending events etc. meeting Singles?
    ♥What could I do to give myself a better chance of meet desirable Singles? Such as a new hairdo or loosing some weight.

    It’s true that dating involves some luck, timing, chemistry, similar goals and values. But people fall in love everyday. So if it hasn’t happened to you yet, it means that you need to meet more people.

  • Subscribe to my weekly blog here
  • Define your dating goals this week.A Table for Six
    Margaret Newitt
    www.atableforsix.com.au
    info@atableforsix.com.au
    1300 885 311
    Lic no 3338670

Life comes to you when you declare who you are and what you want!

Life comes to you when you declare who you are and what you want!

It’s your energy that is continually letting life, the cosmic angels (and other singles) know what you want for yourself. They are continually scanning for hearts that are hungry, intense enthusiasm, a willingness to take bold risks, a brilliant shining light that shimmers with sincerity and boldness.

That’s how it works! You need to be visible, turn up and make an audacious appearance to be found!

Life is continually picking up on the signals you are sending out.

If you’d love to meet a new amazing partner, or ramp up your single social life, boldly declare it to yourself and your friends. Then, in your everyday life, be your true self. Say what you believe, contact that old friend you’ve often thought about, wear that shirt/dress, dance as though no one’s watching! Go along to that singles dinner. Do whatever it is that makes you feel authentically you and how you most want to feel. Let life (and that amazing single woman or man) know that you are here and this is exactly who you are.

Now life can find you. Instead of searching for you amidst the restraint and suppression. How can the cosmos find you amongst all the complaining, negative thoughts, unnecessary shopping, drinking and excuses?

Boldly declare you are a worthy person who deserves an extraordinary relationship and life. Then trust with certainty that the universe has recognised your valour. The cosmic angels are going to alert the universe once they notice you have claimed the life you desire. Once you boldly asked with an open heart for what you truly want. Once you speak up, all the helpful forces of the universe move into action to help you move closer to what you want.

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Subscribe to my weekly blog here

Be a bold shimmering light this week,
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
info@atableforsix.com.au
lic no 3338670

Would you like to meet someone who really gets you?

Do you ever feel as though you would like to meet someone who gets you? You know the feeling when you meet someone new and you really have the feeling that this person is listening and actually hearing what you are saying. You feel as though they are, if even for a moment, stepping into your shoes and experiencing your journey.

Or, would you like to meet people or a partner who appreciates what you do for them? People who acknowledge what you bring to their life? They value the time you set aside to help you move house, or even the time they happily took you out when you were feeling a little low.

Neale Donald Walsch, the author of the “Conversations with God” series of books, has this message for us: Be the source. In his “conversations”, he received this message: “I was advised by God to no longer be the Seeker, but to be the Source in the life of another of that which I had been seeking in my own life. “What flows through you, sticks to you.”

Most of us have heard the message: Do unto others, as you would have it done unto you. I think most of us interpret this as meaning that if you wish to be treated well, you should treat others well. But, Walsch interprets this to have a further meaning. “When you cause others to have the experience that you wish to have, you, too, must eventually have it.”

We have most probably read that you cannot give away that which you do not have. But it turns out that the act of giving something to another causes you to notice that you have it to give- and that you had it all along.

Walsch says that once he got this message, everything began to make sense- including the teaching that none of us is really “creating” anything, but merely noticing that is already there.

If you would like to experience a grander, more loving, more fulfilled version of yourself, this will come back to you. See the best version of another and let them know that you see it. Help them to see the grandest version of themselves by being a mirror and showing them their reflection.

Many people have listened to people who have told them they are not good enough. They have told themselves the same story and now believe it is true. If you are someone who gives others a rich experience of who they really are, you will be enriched as well.

Blessings

Margaret Newitt

www.atableforsix.com.au

1300 885 311

info@atableforsix.com.au

Lic no 3338670

If you manage a relationship with the inspiration to improve, appreciate, connect, or protect, it will florish.

We are continuing on with exploring  how male and females are wired differently in relation to how they react in their significant relationships. The interesting information is from a book called “Why women talk and men walk.”

The differences are present at birth with baby girls, from day one being more sensitive to isolation and lack of contact. This could have evolved as an important survival skill so that females kept in contact with their offspring and also with others in the group who could protect her. A woman could have fallen prey if left alone, so over the millennia, females developed an internal GPS that keeps them aware of closeness and distance in  all of their relationships.

When a woman feels close, she can relax, when she feels distant, she feels anxious. This heightened sensitivity to isolation makes a female react strongly to another person’s anger, withdrawal, silence, or other sign of unavailability. To be out of contact can be frightening.

Men have a hard time understanding a woman’s fear and the pain associated with it. One reason is that a woman’s fear provokes shame in a man: “You shouldn’t be afraid with me as your protector!” This is why he gets angry when she gets anxious or upset. But men also just don’t know what a woman’s fear feels like.

It is not our innate differences in fear and shame that drive us apart: it is how we manage the differences. If you manage them with criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, or blame, your relationship will fail: it’s as simple as that. If you manage them with the inspiration to improve, appreciate, connect, or protect, your relationship will flourish. But it takes some conscious attention to overcome the force of habits that began forming very early in your life.

 

Men and women want the same closeness in a relationship-so why is it often lost?

Last week I wrote about how men and women are wired differently and how fear and shame can cause a loving close relationship to become disconnected. This interesting information is from a book called “Why women talk and men walk” by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny.

Research and clinical experiences show that men and women clearly want the same closeness and connection from a relationship. So why do many couples end up feeling like they have lost that closeness they felt early in their relationship?

The male – female disconnection is the biggest factor in the soaring divorce rate. Some 80% of divorcees say they “grew apart” – tragic and unnecessary.

Female orientated attempts are often aimed at “talking” to her man. But this is often a huge failure. Because their problem is not about “communication.” It’s about disconnection. They are disconnected because they have poor communication; they have poor communication because they are disconnected. In a new relationship, when they felt connected, they talked for hours on end. She exposed vulnerable feelings to him, he responded with protectiveness and support. She fell in love because she felt emotionally connected to him, and her belief that he would be there for her quelled all her fears.

He fell in love because he felt emotionally connected to her. She made him feel important and successful as a lover, protector and provider, which reduced any threat of feeling inadequate.

The best chance of saving a disconnected relationship is to return to this state of mutually soothing and empowering connection.

My next newsletter will talk about how to regain a deep connection and perhaps even at a deeper level.

Create your own results

I have a single friend who watches too many current affairs TV shows. She talks a lot about how it’s so difficult to meet a partner today. Even talks about how people are being conned by unscrupulous people who pretend to be something they are not and take unsuspecting single’s money.

Her whole attitude oozes, “Why even try to go out and meet a partner? It’s too hard. If I go to bars, there are only losers there. Or they end up being married.”

While I understand how she feels (we’ve all felt that way at times), it’s important to take a moment to put things into perspective.

We all create our own outcomes. And while we should be aware of what is going on in the singles world, you should put your focus on creating your own results.

Why not shift your mindset from one of “it’s too hard” and fixing what’s wrong, to one of focusing on what you really want. Decide that this is the year you create a life of supportive friends and or a loving partner.

But you can’t just talk about it. You’ve got to move your body and take action.

I invite you to turn off the TV, contact us and find out about how you can take advantage of our dinners and events to meet singles just like you.

If you contact me, I will discuss what it takes to make changes in your life, how to tame those fears that may surface along the way, and how to ensure you stay in the positive mindset. Otherwise, you may fall back into thinking it’s all too hard.

Do you need a nudge to make a change this year?

We had a lot of success partnering our members up last year. Our testimonial page has a list of many happy couples that have met via A Table for Six. We also heard from members who met through other means, but they said  that attending our dinners gave them the confidence in their lives that made all the difference. Our members tell us that they enjoy the dinners so much because they find them relaxed, and fun. The pressure they feel with internet dating isn’t there at our dinners. It’s all about the group enjoying some single company and conversation over dinner.

 

I never tire of hearing the members feedback and hearing of their enjoyment. We love to hear the good stories from our happy members.


Do you ever feel as though there is someone out there that you could be deeply connected to-Someone that you haven’t met yet?

If you’re like most people who are single (and would prefer not to be), in spite of this wonderful sense of possibility, you also struggle with the challenge of how to bring this beloved person into your life. You may feel disappointed, frustrated, confused and even pain sometimes because they are not in your life yet.
I’m not usually a country music fan, but I caught a few lines of a song by Adam Brandt called “There will be love” that says it all. ” There will be love in our lives, just as long as we are willing to try.

If any of that sounds familiar to you, we have helped people who thought they would never have success in dating again. Perhaps you need a nudge in the right direction, or you fear you are the least likely to succeed in dating.
Just remember, you don’t need to change anything externally about yourself or your life.  You only need to let go of those obstacles you have that are holding you back. Instead of spending another year hoping for love that doesn’t show up, you can contact us so that we can organise to have you out and meeting our fabulous members at dinners as soon as this weekend. You’ll be amazed by how quickly it can happen.

If you haven’t finalised your list for 2013 yet, I want to invite you to make a commitment to yourself… A commitment that you’ll make this year the one you look back on as the year you made a change in your life.

Another good news story from A Table for Six

Here’s another good news story from our A Table for Six dinners.

S told me she had dated a lot in her 20’s and felt there were plenty of guys to choose from. She settled down and married and was in her marriage for 20 odd years until it broke up for various reasons. She found herself single again and in her late 40’s. S found the dating scene at this age to be very different than when he was in her 20’s. Yes there were men to date, but having the checklist she had in her 20’s just wasn’t realistic now. She didn’t want to date anyone who had dependent children, didn’t have the same interests as she had or didn’t share the same religious beliefs. This proved to be very unsuccessful for S.

Eventually S realised that she could have a strict checklist and be lonely or she could become more realistic and be open to meeting men who could offer her genuine love and commitment even though they might not fit the exact profile she had in mind. S decided to be open to the men she met who were gentlemen and showed interest in her. We noticed the change in her feedback from dinners and about 4 months ago she met R at a dinner. They have been dating since then and they let us know that they are very serious about their relationship and very in love. If S had kept to her list, he would never have got to know R. They have differences but their core values are the same.

We are happy for them and look forward to hearing how their relationship progresses. We love hearing about and passing on our good news stories.

Opposites attract or similar perspective successful long term relationship?

We’ve all heard the saying “opposites attract”. It has always been an interesting one because we all know long term happy couples who seem to be opposites and others who seem to be very much alike.

Well a report I have read in a phychology magazine does throw some light on the subject. According to the report, the key to a happy, healthy relationship is choosing someone who is, quite frankly, a lot like you – a person who validates your existing views and habits rather than trying to change them.

Reports have repeatedly underscored the role of homogany – shared values, personality traits, economic background, and religion, as well as closeness in age – in romantic success. The more a couple shares a similar perspective, says Glenn Wilson, a psychologist at Gresham College in London, the less conflict there’s likely to be in their relationship.

Wilson  developed a compatibility questionaire that reveals a wide range of preferences regarding lifestyle, politics, child-rearing, morality and finances. He found that partners whose answers are comparable are more likely to report satisfaction with their love lives.

But, regardless of how well the two score on compatibility tests, you need to feel a spark of attraction – something that can come from the differences between your partner’s interests and passions and your own. (Such as you like photography and cooking, she likes hiking) “Homogany” is important for long-term satisfaction, but differences in interests really makes a difference in terms of chemistry,” says Givertz. “When couples are overly similar it can be a little bit of a brother-sister relationship- really predictable, without a lot of novelty.”

So what is the happy medium? Seek out a partner whose passions differ enough to expand your experience, but with whom you are aligned on important big-picture issues like how to show affection, what constitutes a moral life, and how to raise children.