Category Archives: Men’s new relationship strategies

Are you prioritising your dating life?

Are you prioritising your dating life?

What is the most important area of your life? Is your love life as important as watching your favourite show on TV or your 40-50 hour a week job? Sometimes I think it must not be. I know you’re busy and have your priorities.

Are you prioritising your Dating Life?

Are you prioritising your Dating Life?

If you were at the end of your life and looking back, would you wish you had worked more hours or would you regret not making your personal life a priority?

Any goal you set for yourself has a formula for success. Failure is never that you don’t know how to achieve the goal. It’s that you won’t take the necessary steps to make it happen.

Dating isn’t that intricate or difficult. There’s a basic formula that will lead to meeting a loving partner.

1. Choose an avenue for meeting suitable singles (find something you enjoy along the way)
2.  Ask as many questions as possible about how other singles have achieved dating success through the service.
3. Ask for  advice from the singles organisation or study up on the best dating tips and behaviour.
4. Spend some time and a little money on making the most of your appearance. (Everyone has attractive qualities. It’s a matter of drawing attention to them)
5. Know what your boundaries are that are non-negotiable.
6. Outside of your non-negotiables, be open to whom you date.
7. Be open to catching up with a potential partner a 2nd (or 3rd) time.
8. Date your potential partners and give them a real chance (Don’t dismiss them without seeing the possible gem)
9. Continue dating until you find someone who’s worthy of your love and life.
That’s it!
If you’re ready for this approach to meeting singles and finding one of the good gals/guys, click on the link to our Membership Enquiry Form and I will call you to talk about how we can help you.

“Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.”
~ David Grayson

Get my weekly blog here

A Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

Nervous about a first dinner? Keep reading!

Nervous about a first dinner? Keep reading!

Nervous about a first dinner? Keep reading!

Nervous about a first dinner? Keep reading!

There are few things as exciting as your first dinner with A Table for Six. The newness, the uncertainty, and the possibilities are huge. This could be the night you meet a prospective partner, or your new best friend. It can be enough to make even a very confident person feel a little rattled. What should you wear? What should you talk about?

Meeting face to face over a meal is a tried and tested successful way of meeting. And you know that the people you are meeting at our dinners enjoy it too. Conversation will normally flow continuously and if you run out of things to talk about, there are enough people in the group to ensure you don’t have to feel under pressure to talk all the time.

Don’t hesitate to ask questions, as long as they are not too personal. Personal questions are best left until you know someone a little better. Remember to share your experiences as well, it is a two-way game. It’s good to find something you have in common, even if it is the brand of toothpaste you use or the type of music you enjoy. It’s good to find a connection.

Topics that are always suitable are any recent movies you have viewed, the latest app you have on your iphone or places you have traveled to recently. While the weather is good to fall back on, it is a bit overused.

Wondering what to wear to our dinners? I’m sure you would like to make a good impression. It is important to dress appropriately for the venue you are attending. Wear something you really love and that makes you feel good too. Girls don’t overdue the makeup or show too much flesh (a little bit is a good thing). Guys no jeans or tee shirts. A button up shirt and dress pants make a much better impression.

Your first dinner, and every dinner after that is always exciting. Mixed with the right amount of  good attitude and realism, it will be a fabulous experience. Make you dinners more enjoyable and fun using the tips and suggestions mentioned here.

Other recent blogs you may enjoy:

My #1 Most Important Ever Dating Tip

Forgive yourself, you’re smarter now

This one very important thing we can control

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

 

Why are Singles getting hurt badly?

Why are Singles getting hurt badly?

Why are Singles getting hurt badly?

Why are Singles getting hurt badly?

There seems to be quite a number of people who don’t like the dating game anymore. Every now and again they decide they should be doing something about meeting people. They subscribe to an internet dating site again. Even though they don’t like the process and know the number of scammers, married people and players that are using it. They are not excited about it at all.

They feel frustrated and disappointed about the situation. Unfortunately, it’s a vicious circle. Anytime you feel negative and defensive, the likelihood of a positive, happy outcome is slim. Each time, they become more resigned and cynical about the process.

To have a different outcome and experience, you need to take personal responsibility to make the journey more enjoyable of yourself.

Find a different way to meet suitable singles. Go out to singles events and places where likeminded singles go and enjoy yourself. Our A Table for Six dinners will take the pressure off. Go with the mindset that you will have a great time, even if you don’t meet a possible partner.
Find out how to be introduced to likeminded genuine singles

Be your authentic self. The way you speak, act and express yourself should be congruent with how you live your life. This will be rewarding to you. If you are always adapting yourself in an attempt to impress the people you are meeting, you will feel exhausted and unappreciated.

Here’s something else that in today’s society is mega important! The way people treat each other!

How you treat other people and the way they treat you will have a huge effect on the outcome of your happiness and relationships.

I hear a lot of stories of experiences that singles have had with online dating interactions. There are a lot of people out there treating each other poorly. Surely they don’t realise the gravity of their actions, or they would not do it…but the result is still the same.

People are getting badly hurt. This results in people loosing trust. Next time they meet someone they want to protect themselves from being hurt again. They are defensive, hold back their feelings and misinterpret the actions of others…this, in turn, hurts someone else.

It’s a cycle where men and women mistreat each other. Awareness is the key. Communication and honesty will mean that even if a relationship doesn’t work out, you will be able to move on from it without bringing hurt and mistrust with you.

Dating should be a beautiful process. Meeting and getting to know people with basic courtesy and respect.

The expectation of our A Table for Six members is that they always treat each other in a courteous, respectful manner. Fortunately, the feedback I receive is that they are also very supportive of each other…how refreshing!

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six

Ghosting in dating. Why not be kind?

Ghosting in dating. Why not be kind?

For those of you, like me, who are not familiar with it, here is a definition

Ghosting is stopping all communication after:

You have organised a first date by setting the time and place, then you hear nothing again.

You have been on a number of dates.

You have been in an exclusive relationship. Whether it be for weeks, months or years.

You have been referring to each other as girlfriend/boyfriend or similar.

You have ever had a conversation about getting engaged, getting married.

You have talked about moving in together.

You have been planning your next holiday together.

Internet dating has certainly provided a medium to reach and communicate with huge numbers of singles. Sadly, it has also created a culture of not caring or considering other singles.

Find out how to be introduced to genuine, invested singles at a small friendly dinner

Of course there are times when you have been seeing someone and it becomes clear to you that this relationship isn’t working for you. The important thing is to treat the other person with kindness and respect.

If you don’t feel that you can speak to them face to face, at least write them a letter (old school, I know), or send them an email letting them know that you are not continuing the relationship.

Ghosting in dating. Why not be kind?

Ghosting in dating. Why not be kind?

It doesn’t need to be long winded or drawn out. It just needs to be kind.

“HI …, It was good to meet you and to get to know you, but I don’t think we are a match after all. I wish you all the best”

If you simply disappear, they will be left wondering why you disappeared. They will wonder you are ill, or even dead. It will also quite likely have a negative affect on their self confidence and opinion of women/men.

Something I don’t understand is why are people so afraid to be kind?

If you want to cool the relationship and take it back a notch, let them know and explain the way you feel.

If you want to end the relationship altogether, be upfront and let them know.

Think about this, If you don’t give them some sort of explanation, they will be consumed with trying to figure out what went wrong. That’s the way we are programmed. Not knowing what happened can drive them crazy and also cause them damage.

How about encouraging yourself and your single friends to always make sure they give a “kind goodbye”.

Remember, that if you have had someone “ghost” you, it isn’t any reflection on you and your worth. It means they didn’t have the courage to be upfront and honest in leaving the relationship.

Showing up honestly, letting others know your needs, being open to learning about their needs, is communicating authentically and honestly. Even if you are “ghosted”, you will have the satisfaction of knowing you are an amazing person to be in a relationship with.

I am sorry if you have been the victim of being “ghosted”.  The reality is that they have “ghosted” themselves. They couldn’t or wouldn’t be a kind grownup and say “Hi …, we’ve had a great time, but I am going in a different direction.”

Now there is an opening for a new beginning.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au

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A Table for Six

 

You’ve met her, now to keep her

You’ve met her, now to keep her

You’ve met a great woman that you really like and are attracted to. She is interested in you too. Now comes the challenge of keeping her for the long term.

You've met her, now to keep her

You’ve met her, now to keep her

Society today is focused on immediate gratification. It’s a throw away society. But if you want that elusive long term, stable, loving relationship, then it’s going to take some effort, dedication,  being humble and at times it’s going to be very challenging.

A lot of singles want to know how to get over being shy or anxious when talking to single women. They want to know how to feel confident and be able to have amazing conversations with women they are attracted to. They think this will be the one secret that will solve all of their dating / relationship problems.

Think of the advertisements you see “How to lose weight without trying” and “Get rich quick by buying this”. They are preying on people’s desperation who don’t want to put in any hard work.

A better question to ask would be “What steps can I take to become a person that would be attractive to the woman I want to meet and keep for the longterm? It often only occurs to them when there has been something go wrong in their relationships. They are in a bad place and it is a knee jerk reaction when it’s too late.

This type of reactive attitude is not an effective strategy for longterm happy relationships.

You may be good at meeting and having someone attracted to you in the short term. You can portray yourself as confident and having your life on track. But, soon the cracks will show. There will be a situation that brings out your insecurity and the real you will be revealed.

If it happens enough, you may very well lose the woman you care for.

For longterm healthy relationships to flourish, it requires constant effort by both parties. They prioritise each other and their love. They laugh, touch and are very connected. You know when you are with a couple who have made a commitment to each other and continue to ensure it is not only healthy and happy, but thriving.

If you would like to have a relationship like that, you need to be in it through thick and thin. Start now by checking out our upcoming dinners where you will be introduced to women who are equally invested in long term happy relationships.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six

Inexperience can be dangerous

Inexperience can be dangerous

To give yourself the best chance of meeting someone suitable, it’s important to meet lots of people. If you don’t put in the ground work to ensure that you meet plenty of single people, you may desperately grab onto the first person who shows interest in you. This has a high probability that you will end up with someone who isn’t right of you…(could be why the divorce rate is so high)

Inexperience can be dangerous

Inexperience can be dangerous

If you haven’t met and spent time with with a number of singles who fall into your general age group, demographic etc, you don’t have the breadth experience to evaluate them objectively.

Know your own worth and value. It’s not about finding a “someone”. It’s important that they are compatible. Each of us is an individual with our own interests, values, goals and personalities. The likelihood of the first person you meet who is interested in you, being someone who is highly compatible is pretty slim.

Would you like to meet someone who looks after themselves physically and keeps fit? Would you like to meet someone who values education and knowledge? Is financial security important to you? Do you believe that social skills, good friends, close family are important? Then the best thing to do is to make sure that you have those qualities yourself. Like attracts like. They are not going to be interested in you if you don’t have your act together.

Our A Table for Six dinners are the perfect way to be introduced to a number of people who are more likely to have your desired qualities.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au

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A Table for Six

Stop cheating yourself of love

Stop cheating yourself of love

A year from now you may wish you had started today

Today you woke up with the desire to finally make a change in your social and dating life. You felt motivated, inspired and ready to take the first step.

You decided to take yourself out to where you could meet some likely singles for a new relationship.

Stop cheating yourself of love

Stop cheating yourself of love

Suddenly you found out that things seem a bit more complicated, confusing and unfeasible.

You start to realise that it’s going to be neither easy or fast to meet people you relate to, have the same values as you, or want the same commitment in a relationship.

Eventually, you arrive at the point when you don’t feel like “conquering your dating life” today. However, you are sure that you’ll be ready to nail it in a while. Some day soon you will sort it out. Just not today…

Sound familiar?

Committing to big goals is hard and it’s no wonder why.  Putting off decisions to take a situation in hand is a common frailty of the human condition.

We are all bad at committing to the activities that require major, effort time and talent.

When it is hard to see the finish line, our desire to take action gradually vanishes. Then, procrastination comes into play.

Embrace the truth. You can achieve anything you desire. The only thing that is stopping you are your laziness, reluctance, and the lack of discipline. And, the major obstacle is the tendency to procrastinate.

I’m sure you have a goal to meet interesting, inquiring, engaging single people.

However, just like millions of people, you decide it is too hard and put off doing anything about it. You postpone the beginning till “someday” trying to convince yourself that there will be a better time. The weather will be better. I will have finished my studies. My children will have left home.

For many people, later often means never.

There is no doubt, you might still get there one day. However, it’s going to happen much later. The secret to meeting your new friends and partner is ridiculously simple: start now.

It’s ok to be a little slow. Because being slow is better then being stagnant. Take a look back and think how much of your precious time you have wasted over the last few years by not taking some action.

Now think how much different your life could be now if you hadn’t been procrastinating, having negative thoughts, complaining to our friends and family and feeling sorry for yourself.

Stop cheating yourself now. There will never be a better time to start. The best time is now.

Here is a powerful quote by Karen Lamb.

A year from now you may wish you had started today

Meet her/him at our dinners here

If you would like some more insight into how you can meet genuine, attractive single women at our A Table for Six, call me on 1300 885 311 and I will be happy to encourage, and inspire you.

Get my weekly blog here

A Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

Why can’t my love find me?

Why can’t my love find me?

When it comes to finding a beautiful relationship, there is something that we can easily forget.

You see what you give to yourself, you can give to another and what you don’t give to yourself, you can’t give to another. The best thing you can do is to develop your relationship with yourself.

Why can't my love find me?

Why can’t my love find me?

Your thought pattern should NOT be, “Please send the perfect man or women to me,” but rather, “How can I develop myself to make me the man or woman who my life partner would quickly find and deeply love.”

The way forward is not to long for the perfect love that might come to us in the future, but rather love, respect and care for the people who are around us right now.  Everyone we meet, is special and has value. Our ability to recognise the unique qualities and gifts in everyone we meet is key to our ability to both attract and keep a more intimate partner.

One of the ways to do this is to be genuinely curious and engaged in conversation with others. To give others our attention and interest is a gift that they will feel. It is quite rare to find someone who will give their undivided attention and listen. Most people are not really listening. They are deciding what they will say as soon as the other has finished speaking.

To build loving relationships, shift the focus from what you will get out of it. Focus on giving care and attention to those around you and and how they will receive value from what you offer.

To transform your life and enjoy loving relationships, focus on empathy, careful listening, curiosity and love. These are the gifts we can offer to others and the gift we can receive in warmth and gratitude.

Offer those gifts to others and also tap into your unique talents and skills to determine how you can add value to the lives of others. Soon you will see that the more you give, the more you receive in return.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au

Become a fan of us on Facebook to hear about our latest events & offers
Click here to become a fan
A Table for Six

Insights from one of our male members

Insights from one of our male members

A guest blog from one of our male members

Meeting the opposite sex can be a tough and tricky business. Anyone who has lived long enough knows that. Even as young as four or five years old at kindergarten boys get into trouble for pushing a girl over in the playground when in actual fact it is more than likely only because he likes her.

Going to an AT46 function or dinner can be nerve racking – if you let it. For my first dinner, I arrived more than half an hour early (I have always been an impeccably punctual person). I walked up and down the street waiting for the minutes to tick by. Once I got settled and everyone had arrived and taken their place it was a great evening. We were one of the last groups to leave and the clock read later than 11pm. I got a phone number that night and not for the first time either.

Insights from one of our male members

Insights from one of our male members

The two points I am making here are that I was prepared as well as organised and that I clearly projected the confidence that attracted the lady. Confidence and the human brain are amazing things. When you tell yourself enough times that you “can’t” do something then you probably (or even definitely) can’t. Conversely, if you believe you are capable of something then you are. I am told that women love a confident man. However, there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. And getting it right can be tricky business. Everybody projects confidence in different ways.

The organisation side of things is important too. I am a very organised person. I plan my weeks meals out the week before. I plan my business schedule and my leisure time schedule a week in advance also. If I have a date Saturday night I will pick out what I am wearing on Friday night. I will plan several days out from the date or the social event things such as how I am getting there, how much money I will take, what I will eat, how late I will stay out, and sometimes how much I will drink! Most of the dinners I have been to, I have been first to arrive. If you are running late, can’t find a park and lost, your night has not started well and could well just unravel from there. Planning is paramount.

First dates are interviews – informal ones. They are a chance to make a first impression as well as a lasting impression. Approximately three quarters of a first impression is non-verbal. i.e. appearance. Appearance is 100% in our own control. Dressing nice and looking good is easy. Whatever you say after that can be worked on. But, most of the time a member of the opposite sex has sized you up and been impressed or unimpressed before you even open your mouth.

I can back this up with personal experience. At an AT46 function earlier in the year I spent the overwhelming majority of the night speaking to a girl I would later date a few times. We had a fantastic night. She was the only girl I spoke to that night or even noticed. Yet I still got a contact request from another lady who did not even get to say hello, introduce herself or get to know me in any way. The first impression by appearance alone got her interested.

So I say – get your head sorted out (tell yourself there is a lot to like about you), have a shower and a shave, get dressed up, smile and the majority of the hard work of a first impression is done.

Good luck and all the very best.

A guest blog from one of our male members

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six

 

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My #1 Most Important Ever Dating Tip

My #1 Most Important Ever Dating Tip

Let me give you a tip about dating and friendship that I have learned through 16 years of helping thousands of singles.

There is one quality that, above all determines success.
Is it wealth, intellectual  qualities, physical attractiveness? No, none of the above.
There is a quality that will ensure that in a year, your dating life will look entirely different.

This is a conversation about an old fashioned quality called “kindness”.

Here’s something interesting, I find that most people I speak to believe they are considerate, have a good sense of humour and they are good drivers. Interestingly, 99% of the people I speak to believe they are young for their age.

And yet, every day there’s plenty of lousy driving out there, there’s plenty of ill-humoured, mean spirited behaviour and plenty of people who really DO look their age.

The point of this is that when it comes to how we view ourselves, we are all a bit delusional; it seems that a positive outlook is a deep-seated component of our evolutionary wiring. The “self enhancement bias” is our systematic tendency to forgo rational evaluation of our own merits and abilities in favour of unrealistic attitudes that keep our ego properly inflated as to avoid sinking into the depths of despair.

So, perhaps you think you are acting in a kind way in your dating life. Maybe you could dial it up a bit more. Take it up a notch to a whole new level.

My #1 Most Important Ever Dating Tip

My #1 Most Important Ever Dating Tip

Practising radical kindness will have a side benefit as well. You will feel much better about yourself and give an energy of confidence. Confidence is also very attractive to the opposite sex. So, do this for yourself and for others.

Every day-be kind

1. Always return emails, text messages and phone calls. Even if it is to say “I’m sorry, I don’t think we have a connection, but I do wish you well for the future.”

2. Be present. The best gift of generosity you can give in your business or dating life, is to be fully present when you are with someone. Give your undivided attention to the person you are with. If you have been with someone who did this for you, you will know how special they make you feel. So, put your phone away or turn it off and be generous with your presence.

3. Show our appreciation to others who have given you the gift of their time and attention. Say “thank you” sincerely to people who have come out to spend their time with you.

4. Be generous Foster  an attitude of generosity. Be willing and even eager to invest your time, energy and attention in those you meet. Don’t be focused on deciding if they are partner material. Just give your presence without attachment or expectation.

You have opportunities to practise kindness every day of your life. Every time you send an email, make a phone call or meet singles at A Table for Six dinners. If you practise being a kind, compassionate and understanding person, you will attract the best people into your life.

No matter where you are on the kindness ladder, take it up a level and you will see the positive impact it has on your dating life and how you feel about yourself.

I see the evidence of this every week in the results that singles gain in their dating life.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six

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