Tag Archives: dating women

Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward

Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward

Relationship breakups are never easy. The end of a relationship with someone you really care about can cause more pain than most events in your life.
Even if you were the one to instigate the breakup, you will most likely feel a whole range of emotions during the coming weeks and months.
Maybe you can look back now and clearly see the signs that trouble was coming. Or maybe, you still can’t work out how this happened.
Men don’t tend to acknowledge their emotions and feelings and are even less likely to discuss them. So there’s a lot less written about about their side of the situation.
But they certainly feel the range of emotions from disbelief, anger, sadness, loss, depression but sometimes relief.
Studies show that men  might even be affected more by breakups than women.
There are a lot of different variations of breakups. And every relationship is unique. Here are some coping strategies to help single men through those bleak, dark days after a breakup.

Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward

Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward

Feel the emotions and move through the pain

From childhood, men are discouraged from showing their emotions. “Be a man” and “big boys don’t cry” are phrases meant to hold those feelings in and don’t dare show them. During a relationship breakup, a man may have such strong emotions it overwhelms the instinct to suppress them. Instead of trying to hold them in, just allow them to wash over you. Feel them and know that you are going to feel bad for some time. It is better to really feel those emotions and work through them. To push them down will mean that they will manifest in a different (worse) way.
It may be tempting to cover up your feelings in temporary distractions such as drinking, drugs or working too much. This may help to distract you from the pain temporarily, but it may prolong the healing process that is necessary to move forward.

Don’t go all out to try to get her back

If your partner did the breaking up, you may feel tempted to go all out to win her back with flowers, poems and gifts. Unfortunately this may just come across as desperate. They could just need some space and showering them with over the top gestures will just make them feel pressured. If they are truly the one for you, no such huge gestures will be needed. You can’t force someone to want to spend their life with you or love you.

Quality sleep helps in moving forward

Sleep can be affected. Your mind is going crazy and can be out of control going over what went wrong. Those conversation you had or wished you had. And what you wish you had done differently. iTunes have a lot of recordings that are effective in helping to replace that mind chatter with peaceful sounds to help you drift off and to get some quality sleep.

Do something for yourself

The temptation to wallow in self pity or sadness can be strong. You are going to have to really take strong positive steps to use this time to your own long term advantage. It’s a good time to take up a new interest. Perhaps something you always wanted to do but couldn’t while you were in the relationship. Doing something creative, like playing a musical Instrument can be therapeutic. Even if you are not normally the creative type. If you would prefer to be more active, it is a good time to be more focussed on fitness. Being active has proven positive effects on mental and emotional well being.

Enjoy being single
There is a positive side to being single. There will come a time when you move from being miserable to realising some of the sacrifices you made in the relationship to keep the harmony. Make the decision to do something you wouldn’t have done when you were in the relationship. Go out with your mates to an all you can eat bar b que meat meal, go and watch some of the fight championships or stay in and watch Batman films.  It’s about enjoying your new single status. It’s making the most of an otherwise painful situation.You may even feel empowered when you realise that you now have the freedom to do the things that make you happy.

Buy a gift for yourself

Spoil yourself by purchasing something that makes you happy. No need to empty your savings account, but sometimes when you are feeling low a hit of retail therapy can give you a boost. Maybe you have put off upgrading your golf clubs, or buying that motorbike you’ve dreamed of owning. Recognise and acknowledge that you can make you own choices to do what makes you happy.

Get away

Taking a holiday away after a relationship breakup is truly expressing your new freedom. It will be different for each man, but the beauty is that you alone can choose. You don’t need to take anyone else’s wishes  into consideration. Take a road trip with no bookings or definite plans. Take a hiking holiday in the wilderness to reconnect with nature. Take some time to find the real you who could be a little wiser now.

Take a step back to look at the failed relationship objectively. Try not to blame anyone. I’m sure you can recognise there were things you could have done differently too. We are all just doing the best we can with what we know at the time. One day you may look back and recognise that the things you have learned from this failed relationship have enabled you to learn and grow and to enjoy a new amazing relationship. When you know more, you can do better.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

Save

Why isn’t she interested?

Why isn’t she interested?

The secret is to ask the right questions. They will feel special and know you are interested.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re meeting people to make new friends, or date an amazing woman…

They can tell if you are genuinely interested in them.

Humans are reciprocal beings. When you give interest, you get interest.

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie

Women want to know that you find them (specifically) interesting. They want to know that there’s SOMETHING other than just being an attractive woman that attracted you.

Why isn't she interested?

Why isn’t she interested?

Because everyone wants to feel special. When you make them feel that way, they’ll want to do the same for you.

Important steps
Your mindset – Reset your measure of success from obtaining an outcome to simply being curious about people.

Have a curiosity date (or two).

When you are meeting new people, your only goal is to answer this question about them:

“Who are they?”

Stay mindful of your goal. Plan ahead what you would like to know about people you meet. Make sure they are things you actually care about. If it doesn’t really interest you, you won’t be engaged and they will be able to tell you are not being genuinely interested.

You’re trying to get a better understanding of their personality, interests, and overall character.  Have a few questions brainstormed in advance that you could ask.

What are their favorite books, movies, TV shows, comedians, or musicians?
What’s the best place they’ve traveled to? Or, where are they most excited to visit?
Would they rather live in the country or the city?
What do they love or hate about their current job? What’s their dream job instead?
What’s their favorite way to exercise?
What did they want to be when they were a kid?
What scares them?
What’s the biggest change they made in the last year?
Are they close with their family?
What’s something most people don’t know about them?
If they were to die tomorrow, how would they spend their last day?

Some additional tips to help with your curiosity night:

If you can’t remember what to ask, remember the four topics that are always guaranteed to get people to open up.

Ask them about their DREAMS, RECREATION, OCCUPATION and FAMILY.

It’s best to start out with lighter questions and progress to more personal questions as time progresses. They will feel uneasy if the first question you ask is too personal.

Instead of asking “Do you like to read?” Ask an open ended question that will require them to open up about themselves. “What is your favourite type of book?”

You want to learn about their emotions and motivations. So, don’t just ask cold, bare facts. Another example, don’t just ask do they have a family. Ask what is the best thing about their family.

Don’t just ask what they do for a living, ask what drives them to go every morning, what is their biggest challenge, and where they would like to go from there.

When they say something that impresses you, give them a real compliment.

Remember their name. People love to hear their own name and feel special when you remember it.

Your old mindset of “How can I be good enough for this person? has now changed to “Is this someone I want in my life based on what I’m learning about them?” and this cultivates a mindset of abundance.

It forces you to make an honest evaluation of people and takes them off that pedestal. You will no longer feel desperate to fit their mold and you will have the courage to walk away from those who aren’t a good fit for you.

You will grow in confidence. In turn, that confidence attracts not only more people, but the right people.

Now that you have people interested in you. Don’t forget to treat them the same way you treat those closest to you.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

Save

Save

Save

Save

She won’t tell you this

She won’t tell you this

You are not imagining it. Women don’t always tell you exactly what they want.

But that doesn’t mean you have to stay in the dark.

There’s a logical way to shed some light on what women want when it comes to approaching, flirting, and getting a woman’s number.

She won't tell you this

She won’t tell you this

With a little help, you will know how to essentially read a woman’s mind in these crucial areas so you can know what she wants, without her actually saying it to you.

One of the things you should never expect a woman to tell you is when to approach her. She might tell you.  But if you expect it, you could be missing out on a a potentially great connection.

You can never expect a woman to say, “I’d like you to approach me now.”
Even if she really wants you to approach her, she is not likely to come over and let you know.
She doesn’t want to be approached by every man. Only the ones she feels comfortable around, if not attracted to. As long as you are relaxed, that’s important. Even if she isn’t attracted to you, or has a boyfriend, she’ll still feel flattered.

What is the best way to approach her and make sure it goes well?
The most important thing is you have the attitude of, “I’m just going to say “Hi”. With no huge expectations. Whatever happens is great.

If she responds negatively, there are 3 possible reasons.
1. She’s not as nice as she looks.
2. She’s having a bad night.
3. I came off wrong because I’m still learning how to approach well.

That’s it! No other reasons.  It’s definitely not “Oh, i guess I’m just very unattractive!”

None of those reasons is personal to you. They are either about her, or your skill level. And that is able to be improved.

You may have some room for improvement in the way you behave, the way you present yourself, but some of the reasons don’t have anything to do with you in particular. It is very important for your success that you don’t take rejections that have nothing to do with you personally.

Every second you spend worrying about them is a second you could invest in approaching another woman who wants to get to know you.

Don’t forget to smile at her!

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

Save

Save

She is attracted to you when…

She is attracted to you when…

You may be meeting her for the first time, or you could have been on a few dates already, but how do you know if she is into you? Here are a few simple things you can watch out for that will give you some hints.

Is she responding or ignoring?
When you send a text, or leave a voicemail, does she respond to your attempts at communication? If she does, that a good sign. With modern technology, it’s easier than ever to filter out people that we don’t want in our lives. If she wants to avoid you, it isn’t very hard. However, if she replies, responds and even initiates communication with you, it’s a clear sign that there is interest and attraction.

She is attracted to you when...

She is attracted to you when…

Who has her attention?
If a woman is into you, she won’t be spending a lot of time texting, checking or talking on her mobile phone while on a date with you. If there is an important call she needs to take, she will excuse herself and explain it is family, work or something that can’t be put off.
Otherwise, if she spends any time throughout the date being distracted by her phone, there’s a good chance she isn’t really attracted to you.

Does she see the funny side of it?
This one is probably the biggest, clearest sign that she is attracted to you. Humour doesn’t lie. It’s also one of the biggest attractors for women. If she laughs at your jokes, it is a clear sign that there is a connection between the two of you, because humour is a very personal thing. It also shows that she can relax around you a bit.

Is she chasing you?
Our aim is to get her to be as proactive in attracting you. Getting her to chase you a little too by phoning you, or suggesting a next outing is a step up from her responding to your calls. If she does, you don’t need to wonder if she is into you. She definitely is.

What does her body tell you?
Our body language doesn’t lie. A large part of our communication is nothing to do with the words we say. Rather, body language and tonality say far more than words ever could. When you are together, is she angled toward you a lot of the time? Or is her body turned away from you? Does she ever touch you? How does she react when you touch her? Analysing her body language is one of the surest ways for you to tell if she is into you.

She may not be doing all of these things, but if she is ticking some of these boxes, it’s a good sign that she likes you a lot.

Want to meet genuine, attractive single women in a small, relaxed group at dinner? We can help you meet the right women and have an opportunity to get to know them a little  at dinner. You can let them see how great you are, and amazing outcomes will happen.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

 

 

 

 

Save

Avoid doing this..It makes you look desperate

Avoid doing this..It makes you look desperate

No woman wants to think she is dating a man who is desperate. She wants you to be secure, not clingy. She doesn’t want you to idealise her, she wants you to see her for the unique person she is. She wants to know that you are choosing her because you think she is special and not just because you are desperate for a girlfriend.

Avoid doing this...It makes you look desperate

Declaring your feelings too soon
If you are stuck in  the “friend zone” and you are a “nice guy”, it is tempting to profess your feelings outright, without any flirting or creating attraction. You are nervous about flirting, creating physical contact or moving to a more intimate relationship.

You just pretend to be an amazing friend. You are sure that if you hang around for a while, you will build a romantic connection automatically. But, when romance doesn’t happen, you resort to an outright declaration of love.

You promise that you will be the best boyfriend she ever had and will treat her better than any man ever has. You let her know how much you care for her and how fond of her you are. You are sure that this will convince her that you are the perfect man for her.

Sadly, an essential ingredient will be missing. Attraction is an emotion a woman must feel through having flirty fun with you. Your bold, cheeky actions are what will make her feel attracted to you.

There are two outcomes if you declare your feelings without that flirting first. The girl may let you down gently, not wanting to hurt your feelings saying “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” Or, and much less likely, she agrees to try it out because she you do care about her and you are thoughtful and polite. Before too long she realises she just doesn’t have that attraction for you and ends the relationship.

Want to meet genuine, attractive single women in a small, relaxed group at dinner? We can help you meet the right women and have an opportunity to get to know them a little  at dinner. You can let them see how great you are, and amazing outcomes will happen.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

 

Save

Save

What most men don’t understand about women

What most men don’t understand about women

Why do some men get a a ‘Yes please’ pass my number on and others continue to get a ‘No thank you, he seemed very nice but i was not attracted to him’?

I notice a similar theme happening. The men who don’t get the number are mostly very nice, genuine guys. They’ve come along to dinner with their neat haircut, their fresh clean shirt and clean fingernails. They have their friendly guy smile and answer politely when it is their turn to speak or someone asks them a question.

What most men don't know about women

What most men don’t know about women

Men are programmed to, basically, mate with almost any girl who shows up with nice hair, not too fat and anything better than a ’plain’ face.

Women, on the other hand, have a whole host of things they are looking for. No woman wants to imagine herself with a ‘regular, average man’ even if she is, in fact, a regular average woman. Every woman wants a man like she sees in the movies or reads about in romance books….unfair? Yes!

When an average man goes out, he usually goes like this:
1. Regular, average (boring) clothes,
2. Regular, average (boring) conversation,
3. Regular, average (boring) friendly vibe and
4. No idea how to run the date or manage it, instead hoping that somehow everyone will work out on its own.

  • Imagine if you were going for a job interview and it went like this:
    -Show up to interview in baggy, oversized, average suit
    -Talk about whatever comes to mind, generally average boring work experience, with no forethought or focus on highlights like accomplishments and achievements
    -Have an average, unassuming, regular vibe
    -Come in with no plan for the interview, simply assuming he’ll just “wing it” and hoping he gets the job.

Do you think the job interview would go better is you:
-Show up in crisp, powerful clothes,
-Have well-thought out responses to interview question and insightful comments and queries to make and ask back
-Have a vibe of being excited, a go-getter, and an achiever
-Arrive with a definite plan for how the interview will go-who gel will begin it, how he will manage the middle, and how he will close it at the end.

Of course it would and so will your dinner dates.
Dress with style
Stop looking and acting like a friendly, nice guy.
Be interesting and have a plan.

The women that you find attractive spend a lot of time and money on enhancing their appearance. They put on make-up, have an up to date hair-do, they dress up in interesting clothes that enhance and make the most of their appearance. They wear high heels. They also read books on how to do better with men, how to be successful in dating, and on how men think and what men want. Women are constantly learning how to be more attractive to men and adjusting themselves accordingly. It sounds like a lot of work doesn’t it?

A lot of men are not at all aware of this. They still dress the same way they have for years, talk about the same things with women they talk about with their mates, and hope that, despite it being the man’s responsibility to lead things forward, things will somehow magically work out on their own. The men you see in those advertisements with the muscles and edgy look, were not born like that. They have worked on it over a period of time.

Once you understand what to do to have an advantage, it is just a matter of continually working on being more attractive to women, just as women as working hard to be attractive to them.

That is how a man can become a dashing, debonair chap that women  are interested in and want to date.

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

Success! A follow up date with her. The secret formula.

Success! A follow up date with her. The secret formula.

How soon should I follow up? Should I Send a quick text? What should I say?

You’ve exchanged number with a lovely woman you met at A table for Six. She has passed her number to you. She will be expecting you to contact her and follow up. What is the best way to do it?

Success! A follow up date with her. The secret formula.

Success! A follow up date with her. The secret formula.

If you would like to improve your chances of a follow up date, call her within three days. If she doesn’t call you back after you have left a phone message, try one more time a few days later. If there is still no response, move on!

When you leave a voice message, let her know you enjoyed meeting her and would like to see her again soon. Don’t just call and hang up without leaving a voice message. That’ s not cool.

If you have a great idea for a follow up date, mention it in your voicemail. Don’t just say something like “Hey, it’s Tim, call me back.”

Women like to hear words of endearment, but not too mushy too soon.
You do have to pursue women, but they are the ones who make the decision.

Your first follow up date should be something special, but not too over the top. Plan something that will give you both an adrenaline rush. That will give you a better chance that she will become emotionally hooked on you. Most women don’t enjoy parachuting out of airplanes, but here are some activities they most probably will enjoy – ice skating, dancing, cycling, motor bike riding, outdoor picnics, boating or indoor amusement park.

Do not plan an overnight date at this stage. It’s too soon and could ruin your chances you may have for a long term relationship. Save that for a little down the track when you have been together for some time.

Beat the competition and become more confident in dating with these follow up suggestions.
Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.” ~Oscar Wilde

Become more confident in dating this weekA Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

 

 

 

Save