Tag Archives: find the one

You’re out of practise

Most of you love me, but every now and again one of you hate me.

It’s true! Because I offer a service to singles, I am sometimes coming into contact with people who are at different stages in their lives when it comes to relationships. They’ve had a variety of experiences in their lives, and they are working through dealing with them.

It makes no difference; I’m still going to be someone who doesn’t listen to the negativity. I’m not going to agree with you when you say that all the good ones are taken, or that everyone has too much baggage. Your mates/girlfriends might let you wallow in this line of thinking, but I won’t allow you to.

All you will ever get from me is encouragement to step outside of your comfort zone. That comfort zone is your worst enemy, not me. I’m going to  encourage you to put on your best outfit, stand tall, get your attitude right and go out and wow some new people. You won’t wow everyone, but that’s ok and perfectly normal.

Don’t worry if some people don’t recognise your beautiful heart. They’re not meant to be in your life right now. The one or ones who do see your authentic beauty are the ones who have also lifted their spirit to the realms where you now dwell.

Our dinners and events are simply a vessel for you to use to facilitate your growth and to expand your social circle. They are designed just for you to use to learn how it feels to be a single person in a mixed group again.

There’s so much to learn when you’ve been out of the single scene for a long period of time. You’re out of practise. You’ll learn you’re not the only one who feels way out of their depth. Those who are very honest with themselves will admit they are frightened of being hurt, taken advantage of, made to feel inadequate, not good enough or invisible.

We all know the real truth. It is inside of us. You just need to listen. Your inner guide will protect you from being hurt if you stay quiet for long enough to hear what it is telling you.

There’s no better investment you can make than in yourself! So, if you want to change how your life is going around relationships, start investing your time, energy, focus and even some dollars to improve it.

Poor me, or there’s no great men/ladies out there, or I don’t have time, or I don’t know where to go, just isn’t acceptable anymore.

My focus is always on  what we can offer our members and the broader Singles community. The people I love to work with know there’s only so much time on this planet, and consistent positive action every day is what will lead them to their dreams.

Come along and meet our amazing, pro-active singles who never let a set-back stop them from working towards their relationship dreams.

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” ~William Arthur War

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Take action for your future this week,
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

It’s a famous question and it’s asked often

It’s a famous question and it’s asked often.

What sort of people will I meet at dinner?

That’s exactly the same I question I would ask if I was inquiring about becoming a member of a Singles group!

What exactly is it that they are looking for? We all know there’s plenty of singles out there who we wouldn’t want to spend out time with. Lately, I’ve been asking more questions of the people who do join our members. What exactly is it that they are looking for?

Here’s some of the answers I received.

They hate Singles who lie about wanting a real, long term relationship.

They need opportunities to meet Singles in an environment where there’s no pressure and it’s all about having fun and making new connections first.

They crave meeting people and having that feeling of “Ah, these people really get me.”

They haven’t been able to figure out where to find all the decent Singles who have dealt with their baggage and have an open heart.

They struggle to deal with Singles who just want to be able to tick off their list of requirements.

They secretly yearn to meet someone who makes the journey seem like the time is right, the place is right and the connection is definitely right.

They are looking for their new best friend.

They want to have that special connection with a partner who treats them with love and kindness, expressed through kind thoughts, loving words and kind actions.

They are totally over spending weekends alone, going to bars, internet dating or meeting people with no manners or consideration.

They are totally into positive, pro-active people and having lots of amazing stories to tell when they are 90.

They are ready right now for new beginnings in dating, creating new friendships and opportunities for romance and love.

These are the answers I will give from now on when new Singles inquiring, ask me that famous question “What sort of people will I meet at dinner?

Do any of these resonate with you? Are there any others you would add to our list?

Is that the sort of person you are?
Margaret Newitt
Franchisor
www.atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
info@atableforsix.com.au
Lic no 3338670

Are you prioritising your dating life?

What is the most important area of your life? Is your love life as important as watching your favourite show on TV or your 40-50 hour a week job? Sometimes I think it must not be. I know you’re busy and have your priorities. But if you were at the end of your life and looking back, would you wish you had worked more hours or would you regret not making your personal life a priority?

Any goal you set for yourself has a formula for success. Failure is never that you don’t know how to achieve the goal. It’s that you won’t take the necessary steps to make it happen.

Dating isn’t that intricate or difficult. There’s a basic formula that will lead to meeting a loving partner.

  • Choose an avenue for meeting suitable singles (find something you enjoy along the way)
  • Ask as many questions as possible about how other singles have achieved dating success through the service.
  • Ask for  advice from the singles organisation or study up on the best dating tips and behaviour.
  • Spend some time and a little money on making the most of your appearance. (Everyone has attractive qualities. It’s a matter of drawing attention to them)
  • Know what your boundaries are that are non-negotiable.
  • Outside of your non-negotiables, be open to whom you date.
  • Be open to catching up with a potential partner a 2nd (or 3rd) time.
  • Date your potential partners and give them a real chance (Don’t dismiss them without seeing the possible gem)
  • Continue dating until you find someone who’s worthy of your love and life.

That’s it!

 

If you’re ready for this approach to meeting singles and finding one of the good gals/guys, click on the link to our Membership Enquiry Form and I will call you to talk about how we can help you.

Blessings

 

Franchisor

Margaret Newitt

www.atableforsix.com.au

Meet our 11 out of 10’s at dinner

I received an email from a lady this week. She is attractive, focused on her career and has good friends and family. Patricia (not real name) has been attracting men who are either boring intellectuals or smooth talkers with film star looks. She has big dreams but was ready to give up on finding her life partner.

 

Clearly Patricia needs to make a change and do something different so that she doesn’t keep repeating the mistakes of her past. She is tired of having her heart broken by the charismatic guys and wasting her time with the boring guys.

 

I told Patricia that almost every man who finds success at our dinners doesn’t have film star looks and doesn’t drive a Ferrari or Lamborghini.

  • They are good-looking in their own way, but would never get a job as a model.
  • They enjoy being active, but may be a little soft around the middle.
  • They are smart, but don’t think they are superior and look down on others.

 

The good news for Patricia is that there are a lot more of these men she can meet than the ones who speak French, dance the Tango, participate in marathons and earn 6 figure incomes.  Patricia has just been looking in the wrong places.

 

If you have a similar story to Patricia, cross out most of the things on your list, broaden your view and come along to our dinners to meet our 11 out of 10’s.

If you’re ready for this approach to meeting singles and finding one of the good gals/guys, click on the link to our Membership Enquiry Form and I will call you to talk about how we can help you

Millions of people have happy relationships- why shouldn’t you?

If you have been single for a while, perhaps you have registered on an online dating site. Or maybe you have been out with your girlfriends or mates hoping to meet someone. You got excited at first when you received a lot of messages on the online site. You even met a few people for coffee or a drink. But they weren’t anything like you were expecting them to be. Or you may have dated a couple of them for a while.

But after knowing them for a time, you found that the information they had given wasn’t exactly true. They said they were financially stable, but then you found out they had nothing but debts. They said they were ready for a real relationship, but they actually were still living with their ex.

So you decided

Dating means disappointment

Dating means hurt

Dating is hard work

So you decide to take a well deserved break from dating.

You fill up your life with friends, family, work and travel. – another two years pass by.

You notice your friends are finding their special partner so you decide to dip your toe in the water of dating again.

But your previous experience tells you that relationships cause pain.

Don’t build your conclusions on a narrow field of experience. Millions of people have happy relationships. And if some people can be blissfully happy, why shouldn’t you be?

It’s true that dating involves some luck, timing, chemistry, similar goals and values. But people fall in love everyday. So if it hasn’t happened to you yet, it means that you need to meet more people.

If you were job hunting, you wouldn’t stop applying for positions because you hadn’t found the right position.

Our dinners will give you the opportunity to meet other singles in person in a relaxed, friendly environment. It’s time to step out, act confident and know you won’t fail.

Men and women want the same closeness in a relationship-so why is it often lost?

Last week I wrote about how men and women are wired differently and how fear and shame can cause a loving close relationship to become disconnected. This interesting information is from a book called “Why women talk and men walk” by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny.

Research and clinical experiences show that men and women clearly want the same closeness and connection from a relationship. So why do many couples end up feeling like they have lost that closeness they felt early in their relationship?

The male – female disconnection is the biggest factor in the soaring divorce rate. Some 80% of divorcees say they “grew apart” – tragic and unnecessary.

Female orientated attempts are often aimed at “talking” to her man. But this is often a huge failure. Because their problem is not about “communication.” It’s about disconnection. They are disconnected because they have poor communication; they have poor communication because they are disconnected. In a new relationship, when they felt connected, they talked for hours on end. She exposed vulnerable feelings to him, he responded with protectiveness and support. She fell in love because she felt emotionally connected to him, and her belief that he would be there for her quelled all her fears.

He fell in love because he felt emotionally connected to her. She made him feel important and successful as a lover, protector and provider, which reduced any threat of feeling inadequate.

The best chance of saving a disconnected relationship is to return to this state of mutually soothing and empowering connection.

My next newsletter will talk about how to regain a deep connection and perhaps even at a deeper level.

Avoid disappointment and heartache in your next relationship

Quite a few people have commented to me that they found my article late last year “How important to a man is a woman? very interesting. So here is some more of the relevant information I found so interesting myself in the book. This book sheds some light on how we break the connection we have with our loving partner. “Why women talk and men Walk” by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny explains that our ancient wiring is still driving us beneath the surface. It relates to the difference in the way the genders experience “fear and shame.”

The reason females want to talk about issues, is that disconnection makes her feel anxious and , on a deeper level isolated and afraid. The real reason the man doesn’t want to talk about the relationship is that her dissatisfaction with him makes him feel like a failure.

On a deeper level he feels ashamed. His shame is too deep to allow him to understand her fear, and her fear keeps her from seeing his shame. When they try to aleviate their feelings of vulnerabiity in opposite ways – by talking and not talking – all they end up sharing are disappointment and heartache.

A relationship between a man and a woman can fail with neither of them doing anything wrong if they do not understand the extent to which fear and shame drive their disconnection from each other. That disconnection is the biggest factor in the soaring divorce rate.

My next newsletter will shed some light on how fear and shame can keep both a woman and a man from getting what they want most out of their lives together.

Create your own results

I have a single friend who watches too many current affairs TV shows. She talks a lot about how it’s so difficult to meet a partner today. Even talks about how people are being conned by unscrupulous people who pretend to be something they are not and take unsuspecting single’s money.

Her whole attitude oozes, “Why even try to go out and meet a partner? It’s too hard. If I go to bars, there are only losers there. Or they end up being married.”

While I understand how she feels (we’ve all felt that way at times), it’s important to take a moment to put things into perspective.

We all create our own outcomes. And while we should be aware of what is going on in the singles world, you should put your focus on creating your own results.

Why not shift your mindset from one of “it’s too hard” and fixing what’s wrong, to one of focusing on what you really want. Decide that this is the year you create a life of supportive friends and or a loving partner.

But you can’t just talk about it. You’ve got to move your body and take action.

I invite you to turn off the TV, contact us and find out about how you can take advantage of our dinners and events to meet singles just like you.

If you contact me, I will discuss what it takes to make changes in your life, how to tame those fears that may surface along the way, and how to ensure you stay in the positive mindset. Otherwise, you may fall back into thinking it’s all too hard.

Another good news story from A Table for Six

Here’s another good news story from our A Table for Six dinners.

S told me she had dated a lot in her 20’s and felt there were plenty of guys to choose from. She settled down and married and was in her marriage for 20 odd years until it broke up for various reasons. She found herself single again and in her late 40’s. S found the dating scene at this age to be very different than when he was in her 20’s. Yes there were men to date, but having the checklist she had in her 20’s just wasn’t realistic now. She didn’t want to date anyone who had dependent children, didn’t have the same interests as she had or didn’t share the same religious beliefs. This proved to be very unsuccessful for S.

Eventually S realised that she could have a strict checklist and be lonely or she could become more realistic and be open to meeting men who could offer her genuine love and commitment even though they might not fit the exact profile she had in mind. S decided to be open to the men she met who were gentlemen and showed interest in her. We noticed the change in her feedback from dinners and about 4 months ago she met R at a dinner. They have been dating since then and they let us know that they are very serious about their relationship and very in love. If S had kept to her list, he would never have got to know R. They have differences but their core values are the same.

We are happy for them and look forward to hearing how their relationship progresses. We love hearing about and passing on our good news stories.

Opposites attract or similar perspective successful long term relationship?

We’ve all heard the saying “opposites attract”. It has always been an interesting one because we all know long term happy couples who seem to be opposites and others who seem to be very much alike.

Well a report I have read in a phychology magazine does throw some light on the subject. According to the report, the key to a happy, healthy relationship is choosing someone who is, quite frankly, a lot like you – a person who validates your existing views and habits rather than trying to change them.

Reports have repeatedly underscored the role of homogany – shared values, personality traits, economic background, and religion, as well as closeness in age – in romantic success. The more a couple shares a similar perspective, says Glenn Wilson, a psychologist at Gresham College in London, the less conflict there’s likely to be in their relationship.

Wilson  developed a compatibility questionaire that reveals a wide range of preferences regarding lifestyle, politics, child-rearing, morality and finances. He found that partners whose answers are comparable are more likely to report satisfaction with their love lives.

But, regardless of how well the two score on compatibility tests, you need to feel a spark of attraction – something that can come from the differences between your partner’s interests and passions and your own. (Such as you like photography and cooking, she likes hiking) “Homogany” is important for long-term satisfaction, but differences in interests really makes a difference in terms of chemistry,” says Givertz. “When couples are overly similar it can be a little bit of a brother-sister relationship- really predictable, without a lot of novelty.”

So what is the happy medium? Seek out a partner whose passions differ enough to expand your experience, but with whom you are aligned on important big-picture issues like how to show affection, what constitutes a moral life, and how to raise children.