Tag Archives: finding love

Why she does not return your call

She gave you her number, you have phoned a couple of times and left a message…she isn’t returning your calls. Have you experienced this? What is going on?

Rest assured you are not the only man who met a woman, it felt like there was a spark there. She gave you her number to make contact, but now when you call or text, she never returns your call or responds in any way. Why is this happening?

Why she does not return your call

Why she does not return your call

The important thing to know is that it most probably isn’t anything about you. You should not take it personally. Once you understand this, it will set you free. You will simply move on and let her be.

Here are some of the reasons that could be the cause:

  1. You may have shared some laughs and had some things on common. She thought you were polite, but just didn’t see you as someone she would date. She wasn’t really interested in the first place.
  2. She got a bit caught up in the moment. It made her feel good to have someone interested in her. She felt something for you at the time, but now that the moment has passed, the interest isn’t there anymore. You were interesting, but she doesn’t want to take it further.
  3. You could be the right person, but the wrong time. She could have recently come out of another relationship. Her heart could have been broken, or she could still be holding a flame for someone else. She just is not ready.
  4.  A lot of women don’t like to hurt a man’s feelings. They are not sure and don’t want to lead you on. They worry about having to reject you down the track. They prefer to avoid the anxiety and decide not to go there and remain single.

Both men and women tend to take things personally. It is usually about something that is going on in their lives. It is not that you are uninteresting. If they decide not to respond to your calls, just move on to someone who thinks you are an amazing person.
No matter how good you are with women, you will ultimately come across this scenario. The more experience you have, the better you will become at recognising the warning signs. Don’t ever take it personally.

It is a numbers game. Anytime you are dealing with people, there is going to be unpredictable behaviour and outcomes. Dating makes your emotions vulnerable at anytime and if you are aware that these situations can happen, you will be better prepared. You can dust yourself off, pick yourself up and go out to meet new women.

As I look back on my life, I realise that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

 

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Are you the mystery man?

Are you the mystery man?

Want to know one of the things that makes women shy away from you?

They feel as though you are talking about yourself too much! I know that you are probably thinking “That’s crazy. Women never stop talking.” But there is a difference. Women tend to dramatise, ramble and complain etc. However, the subjects they talk about and share too much of, tend to be their jobs, relationships and other people. That’s when men tune out.

It is better to be “interested” than “interesting”
On the other hand, men tend to talk about themselves and this causes women to tune out. When you feel the need to be witty, and captivating, remember it is better to be “interested” than “interesting’.

Are you the mystery man?

Are you the mystery man?

The ideal conversation is an equal exchange by both parties with conversation bouncing back and forth. If you go overboard trying to entertain a woman, it usually shows up as insecurity. Don’t try too hard to be the life of the party. It is a sign of attention seeking.

Ask questions and listen more than you talk
Better to take on the role of the investigator. Ask questions and listen more than you talk and try to find out as much as possible about her. Nothing too intrusive to start with. Remember that some people are touchy about disclosing  information about themselves. Ask questions like “Where were you born?” and “Where did you go to school?” After a few dates, you can ask about more personal subjects like religion, family situations and past relationships. You could also then touch on short and long term goals.

Women are intrigued by a mysterious man
Don’t tell her everything about yourself too soon. Keep a little mystery about yourself. If she asks a question, answer, but not tool much information. Keep some things to tell her later. Then ask her another question. Only disclose information about yourself little by little. Focus on getting to know her first. Women are intrigued by a mysterious man and will be more interested in you in the long term if they have to probe to find out about you.

Remember to stop talking about yourself, ask open ended questions to encourage her to talk about herself and Listen. You will have an advantage on the competition and your relationship will be off to a good start.

Be interested this weekA Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

 

 

 

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The art of love is largely the art of persistence

The art of love is largely the art of persistence

Find a partner who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on them, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the one who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of their friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much they care and how lucky they are to have you…. The one who turns to their friends and say, ‘that’s her.’ ~ Unknown

The art of love is largely the art of persistence

The art of love is largely the art of persistence

Do you feel like you are always dating the wrong people? I often hear from Singles who contact us that they are tired of dating the wrong people and repeating a pattern that ends in a bad relationship.

Sometimes they choose people who just aren’t available for a genuine relationship. It may be that they have not moved on from a previous relationship, or they are just not emotionally capable of a healthy relationship.

Sometimes they date people who have lied to them and falsely represented themselves. Only after dating them  for a while they discover that this person has a addiction, or isn’t as financially secure as they claimed.

If you recognise that you are continually choosing the wrong people to date, then stop and think about your pattern of behaviour. Try to understand where those choices come from, recognise them, and make different choices next time.

Your friends or family may be able to help you with this process as sometimes they can see a pattern of behaviour easier than we can ourselves. You could even seek the help of a therapist.

Most importantly, if finding a loving partner is high on your list, treat it as a priority. If you were looking for a suitable job, you wouldn’t stop applying for suitable positions. What could be more important than finding a partner who compliments you and your life? So be proactive and make smart choices that will have you out meeting potential partners.

Here is a quote that says it all…

Albert Ellis
The art of love… is largely the art of persistence.

A Table for SixMargaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

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Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress

Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress.

So often we have a big goal in mind. We know exactly what we want.

“I want a husband/wife who I adore and who adores me.”

Maybe they are nowhere in sight just yet. However, It’s important to remember and acknowledge the progress you have made towards your big goal.

Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress

Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress

Six months ago, you were newly single. Not a thing planned for the weekend, except feeling sorry for yourself. All of your friends are married or in relationships, so no  possibility of a fun night out there.
But look at you now! You’ve updated your wardrobe and hairstyle. You’re feeling much more confident. You have met some new single friends at those fitness classes you’ve joined. Maybe you’ve joined A Table for Six where you’ve had some very enjoyable evenings meeting new singles over dinner. The new friends you’ve made enjoy going out for dinner, or the movies, or to that sporting game as much as you do, so your weekends are filling up quickly now.

Don’t downplay your progress. Feelings of guilt or unworthiness can take the wind out of your sails. Charles Duhigg, author of acclaimed book The Power of Habit states: “A huge body of research has shown that small wins have enormous power, and influence disproportionate to the accomplishments of the victories themselves.”

Your confidence has grown a lot because you know there are other interesting singles who are single too.

So, track your progress. Your life is a little better every day and you are making progress. Your social life is so much better than it was six months ago.  Rather than complaining that you haven’t arrived at the big goal yet, embrace your evolution.

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” ~Martin Luther King Jr
Encourage and acknowledge yourself this week,

A Table for SixMargaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

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Want a different dating result? Change your thoughts

Want a different dating result? Change your thoughts

Are you are holding on to negative beliefs about finding new friends, meeting a suitable partner and dating? Your mind is very powerful. The stories you tell yourself can either hold you back and prevent positive change in your life or they can allow new wonderful people to come into your life and new relationships to blossom. Even the most optimistic of us can be guilty of this at times.

Want a different dating outcome? change your thoughts

Want a different dating outcome? change your thoughts season and representing happynes and travel concept

It’s always interesting when speaking to new potential members. Many have reached a point where they know they need to be proactive and are ready and open to what (and whom) will come into their lives and where it may take them.

Others have created problems and scenarios in their own mind before they have even stepped out the door for their first dinner. YOUR beliefs can either help or hurt you!

For example,  “I’m not good at meeting new people. ” or “I will never meet anyone as lovely as my late husband/wife.”

Limiting thoughts and beliefs create the same problems that repeat themselves in different relationships. Habitual negative thoughts run on autopilot,  and if you believe them, you can’t change your life and solve the same problems that can keep arising in different relationships and situations.

Your thoughts determine your feelings, and your behaviours and actions are determined by your thoughts. With negative thoughts running unchecked in your mind, it’s difficult to feel good about yourself. When your behaviour and actions come from feeling bad about yourself, you won’t get good results.

In order to achieve a different result, stop and check those negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones that are just as true or even more true.

An example would be, if you believe there are no good men/women out there, you’ll continue attracting men/women who are not good for you. When you stop this negative thought and replace it with one that serves you,  you’ll open up the possibility to attract  a wealth of new friends and even a partner to share your life.

Start meeting new people and expect to have an enjoyable time, meeting interesting people and don’t quit on yourself.

“If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree.” ~Ji Rohn

Replace your thoughts with positive ones this weekA Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

5 secret things women look for at A Table for Six

5 secret things women look for at a Table for Six

Would you like to know what women are really checking out about the men at our A Table for Six singles dinners?

Some of the things that the women are taking note of when they meet you at dinner may surprise you. Or maybe you already know.

5 Things women Look For At a Table For Six

5 Things women Look For At a Table For Six

How you interact with everyone at the table including the other men.
It is an opportunity for them to gauge how you act in social situations. Are you considerate and inclusive in your conversations with everyone at the table?

How you interact with the restaurant staff.
Do you joke around in a “brighten their day and make their job easier way”? Do you treat them with respect and courtesy?

How you deal with settling the bill at the end of the evening.
Are you generous by including a small tip? Are you organised by bringing along cash to put in your share?

Your general attitude to life in your conversations.
Are you upbeat and mostly positive in your conversations? Do you speak negatively about ex-partners or women in general?

Your appearance
Are your fingernails clean? Are your clothes clean, appropriate and fairly up to date in fashion. Do you put in some effort to keep some sense of fitness and health?

I’m sure these are the things that you are taking note of when you meet women at dinner as well. It works both ways. Either way, we appreciate that you have dressed up nicely and come to dinner to meet our lovely female members.

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Surround yourself with the kind of people you want to meet

Surround yourself with the kind of people you want to meet

“Just have patience, the perfect person will come along when the time is right.”

If you’ve been single for a while, I’m sure you have heard this many times. You probably don’t enjoy hearing it. We have all become accustomed to having what we want, when we want it.

If you  find yourself at a green light with a driver in front who is day dreaming, how many seconds do you wait before you toot the horn? And waiting for someone to answer a phone call when you’re kept waiting is another top frustration.

But when it comes to finding a partner, they are absolutely right -when the time is right, your person will come into your life.

The best plan is to lead your day-to-day life in a way where you’re enjoying yourself, surrounding yourself with and meeting the kinds of singles you want to meet so that you’re not always ‘on the hunt.’ Then you won’t have that desperate vibe of being at a venue only to meet your next date.”

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photos-friends-very-good-restaurant-clink-glasses-image29016753

Are you living your dream life? I’m not talking about material possessions you wish you had. Take time to think about your decisions and where  you’re headed in the important areas of life, such as your social life. If there is even a single thing you could do right now to make your life better, go for it. Take control of your life and actively design it as you go along.

Being single and having friends who are a happily dating or married can leave you feeling like a 3rd wheel. It can make you want love more than anything in the world, and it’s natural to feel lonely or sad if you can’t find it. But love yourself and love spending time solo, and finding ways to stay interested and excited about life without a significant other. This will make you feel even better when that special person comes along!

“Never say someone completes you.
You have to feel complete all on your own.
Instead, look for someone to complement your completeness”

Love yourself and enjoy yourself this weekA Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

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Dating goals, actions & amazing outcomes

Dating goals, actions &  amazing outcomes

If you set goals every year about your social life, but haven’t been able to reach them, you are not alone. But fortunately, there’s a way that could make the difference. You won’t be all talk and no action any longer.

Set a timeline for your goals and let’s call it S.M.A.R.T. Business consultants have used this acronym for many years and it’s proven to work, if you follow the guideline. So why not use it in the most important area of your life-your goals of finding wonderful, supportive friends and/or a partner who wants a real, long term relationship.

How to attract the perfect person for YOU

Dating goals, actions & amazing outcomes

Just because you haven’t reached your goals of finding new interesting people to spend time with, or dating people who make you feel alive and vibrant doesn’t make you bad, lazy or incapable. You just needed the best tools to help you.

Specific
If you set a vague goal like “I want to start meeting more eligible Singles”, how will you know when you have reached your goal?

More specific goals provide you a guide on how to get there. Breaking it down into steps will stop you from feeling overwhelmed.

Questions like these will get you on the path.

Who:               Who is involved?
What:              What is it that I want to accomplish?
When:             Establish a time frame to have attained the goal.
Where:           What are your requirements and constraints.
Why:               Your specific reasons and purpose of accomplishing the goal.

These questions will lead you to ask yourself questions like these.

Do I want to meet a lot of single people or focus on meeting a partner?

What activities do I enjoy where I could potentially meet other Singles I would enjoy meeting?

How much time do I have to spend sourcing potential singles before I meet them?

How much time do I want to spend attending events etc. meeting Singles?

What could I do to give myself a better chance of meet desirable Singles? Such as a new hairdo or loosing some weight.

Measurable
Establish a way of measuring if you are on track to attain your goal. How many and how much are great questions to ask yourself.

How many events will I attend per month?

How many follow up coffee or drinks dates will I have?

What other steps have I taken this month to present myself in my best light?

Attainable
Now that you have defined the desires that are most important to you, you’ll start to imagine yourself attaining them. You’ll think of ways to make them happen.

If you know you can attend one singles event weekly, and you start doing so, you’ll notice that your confidence will grow. You’ll feel like you are on track and your goal is attainable.

Realistic
A realistic goal is something you are willing and able to work towards. It may be a high or low goal.

You may want to simply expand your social circle to include three new friends this year. (That would be great, wouldn’t it?) Or a high goal may be to meet your potential life partner in six weeks.

Time Frame
Without an end date to your goal, there is no sense of urgency. The date you wish to accomplish your goal will fuel you to act on things that you sometimes may want to delay till later.

Here’s an example of a vague goal:

I want to meet more Singles and a partner.

Here’s an example of a specific goal:

I want to meet a life partner by 30th June. I will attend two singles events and will follow up with four people I meet every week for six months.

Hope this helps you attain everything you wish for yourself this year.

Start enjoying the dating journey this weekA Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

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Last chance for dinners this year

Last chance for dinners this year

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The dinners this weekend are the last ones for this year. I hope you’ll join in on a dinner this Saturday. We will be on leave next week 11 to 19 December for a much anticipated break.

Last chance for dinners this year

Last chance for dinners this year

We are truly grateful to you for choosing us to go on your (singles) journey with. You are  our  highly valued customers and it has been a sincere pleasure serving you this year.

We hope that you have enjoyed the dinners and learned a little about being single, and about yourself as well. We will continue our efforts to meet your expectations in the future as well. Meanwhile, your unwavering support and patronage is what gets us out of bed in the morning. Each one of you is to be congratulated for being pro-active, positive and for stepping outside of your comfort zone to make a difference in your lives.

Your honest suggestions and feedback on restaurants has helped us shape our service to best fit our members.

The first dinners in the New Year will be 7 January and we will be adding quite a few new restaurants for you to enjoy. We look forward to having you out to dinner meeting our fabulous members again in the New Year.

We send you the warmest wishes your way for this Christmas season.

Get my weekly blog here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311A Table for Six

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A new romance? It’s never too late

A new romance? It’s never too late

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No matter whether you’re 35 or 75, it’s never too late to fall in love again. Just ask some of our members who have been surprised how they have found love and it has taken them by surprise.

A new romance? It's never too late

A new romance? It’s never too late

I listen to the stories of people’s lives when they join A Table for Six. Everyone has such an interesting story to tell. Here is an example “I’ve been single for a while now and I’m quite comfortable. My friends are wonderful and I enjoy my work. I love my home and I’m very grateful for my  family. Overall I’ve become very good at being single. But sometimes I really miss having a partner to share my life with. Someone to talk, snuggle and grow with. I’m afraid that after a divorce, it may be too late for me.”

I also listen to the stories of the members who have found what they were hoping for, long after they they thought that was possible.  Does this happen by accident or is it just good luck. Or is there something special they had done or changes they had made to connect with a partner at any age?

There is often a similar theme. They are people who had come to terms with the idea they may not ever find a special someone again. But, they had also done some inner work on themselves that meant they felt worthy of love. They had also reached a point where they were ready to accept a partner as he/she is and were ready to be accepted unconditionally by him/her.

They see their new relationship as peaceful with less drama. They have learnt from all of their previous experiences in their past relationships. Is their new love someone who is identical to them? No, but they share values and a commitment to bring out the best in each other. Each one is dedicated to the development of the other.

A new romance? It's never too late

A new romance? It’s never too late

One couple I checked in with recently told me that their first year was hard. She was cleaning and tidying while he didn’t clean or pick up. He loved to watch some TV while she didn’t watch at all. Then they refocused on loving each other a lot and that’s the most precious thing in the world. She accepted him the way he is and didn’t worry about the little things. He was more considerate of her love of neatness, and made more effort to help out. She joined him to watch some TV that interested her too. He remembered to show his appreciation to her.

“As you follow this path, you will find that compassion and acceptance replace fear, negative judgement, and worry. You will approach dating with curiosity, fascination, and a light heart, wanting only what is good for yourself and another person. Instead of choosing a partner based on images, pretense, and roles, you will be able to join your journey with another and learn what it means to create a spiritual bond that is flexible and expansive for both.”

from “If the Buddha dated by Charlotte Kasl

Get my weekly blog here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311A Table for Six

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