One of my male members told me about this experience. He had only been talking to this woman for part of the time at dinner. She said “You are the most interesting man I’ve met lately.” He was confused, he hadn’t told her very much about himself.
He said “How is that possible?” It made her laugh and she realised he was right.
The most interesting guy she had met! Why?
He wanted to know why she felt that way, so he prodded. Eventually she said “Because you ask really unique questions”.
The way you listen and get to know someone is one thing that can make a person interesting. If you know how to ask powerful questions that challenge a girl or make her think in a new way, she will think the conversation is interesting and project that on to you!
Next time you’re getting to know a girl at dinner (or anywhere else), don’t waste your time asking the same old questions that every other guy asks her like “What do you do for a living?Where are you from?” etc. You’ll get to those eventually.
Next time, ask interesting questions like “If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?” or “When was the last time you laughed so hard you almost peed?”They love answering those types of questions.
When she is enjoying telling you about something she loves to do, ask her “What’s that like?”
Try to engage her passionate and emotional side rather than her rehearsed answers she has given many times before. When you can get a girl to express her feelings about a certain subject, she will feel a connection with you on an emotional level.
That’s a powerful start and she will remember how you made her feel.
Relationship breakups are never easy. The end of a relationship with someone you really care about can cause more pain than most events in your life.
Even if you were the one to instigate the breakup, you will most likely feel a whole range of emotions during the coming weeks and months.
Maybe you can look back now and clearly see the signs that trouble was coming. Or maybe, you still can’t work out how this happened.
Men don’t tend to acknowledge their emotions and feelings and are even less likely to discuss them. So there’s a lot less written about about their side of the situation.
But they certainly feel the range of emotions from disbelief, anger, sadness, loss, depression but sometimes relief.
Studies show that men might even be affected more by breakups than women.
There are a lot of different variations of breakups. And every relationship is unique. Here are some coping strategies to help single men through those bleak, dark days after a breakup.
Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward
Feel the emotions and move through the pain
From childhood, men are discouraged from showing their emotions. “Be a man” and “big boys don’t cry” are phrases meant to hold those feelings in and don’t dare show them. During a relationship breakup, a man may have such strong emotions it overwhelms the instinct to suppress them. Instead of trying to hold them in, just allow them to wash over you. Feel them and know that you are going to feel bad for some time. It is better to really feel those emotions and work through them. To push them down will mean that they will manifest in a different (worse) way.
It may be tempting to cover up your feelings in temporary distractions such as drinking, drugs or working too much. This may help to distract you from the pain temporarily, but it may prolong the healing process that is necessary to move forward.
Don’t go all out to try to get her back
If your partner did the breaking up, you may feel tempted to go all out to win her back with flowers, poems and gifts. Unfortunately this may just come across as desperate. They could just need some space and showering them with over the top gestures will just make them feel pressured. If they are truly the one for you, no such huge gestures will be needed. You can’t force someone to want to spend their life with you or love you.
Quality sleep helps in moving forward
Sleep can be affected. Your mind is going crazy and can be out of control going over what went wrong. Those conversation you had or wished you had. And what you wish you had done differently. iTunes have a lot of recordings that are effective in helping to replace that mind chatter with peaceful sounds to help you drift off and to get some quality sleep.
Do something for yourself
The temptation to wallow in self pity or sadness can be strong. You are going to have to really take strong positive steps to use this time to your own long term advantage. It’s a good time to take up a new interest. Perhaps something you always wanted to do but couldn’t while you were in the relationship. Doing something creative, like playing a musical Instrument can be therapeutic. Even if you are not normally the creative type. If you would prefer to be more active, it is a good time to be more focussed on fitness. Being active has proven positive effects on mental and emotional well being.
Enjoy being single
There is a positive side to being single. There will come a time when you move from being miserable to realising some of the sacrifices you made in the relationship to keep the harmony. Make the decision to do something you wouldn’t have done when you were in the relationship. Go out with your mates to an all you can eat bar b que meat meal, go and watch some of the fight championships or stay in and watch Batman films. It’s about enjoying your new single status. It’s making the most of an otherwise painful situation.You may even feel empowered when you realise that you now have the freedom to do the things that make you happy.
Buy a gift for yourself
Spoil yourself by purchasing something that makes you happy. No need to empty your savings account, but sometimes when you are feeling low a hit of retail therapy can give you a boost. Maybe you have put off upgrading your golf clubs, or buying that motorbike you’ve dreamed of owning. Recognise and acknowledge that you can make you own choices to do what makes you happy.
Taking a holiday away after a relationship breakup is truly expressing your new freedom. It will be different for each man, but the beauty is that you alone can choose. You don’t need to take anyone else’s wishes into consideration. Take a road trip with no bookings or definite plans. Take a hiking holiday in the wilderness to reconnect with nature. Take some time to find the real you who could be a little wiser now.
Take a step back to look at the failed relationship objectively. Try not to blame anyone. I’m sure you can recognise there were things you could have done differently too. We are all just doing the best we can with what we know at the time. One day you may look back and recognise that the things you have learned from this failed relationship have enabled you to learn and grow and to enjoy a new amazing relationship. When you know more, you can do better.
The secret is to ask the right questions. They will feel special and know you are interested.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re meeting people to make new friends, or date an amazing woman…
They can tell if you are genuinely interested in them.
Humans are reciprocal beings. When you give interest, you get interest.
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie
Women want to know that you find them (specifically) interesting. They want to know that there’s SOMETHING other than just being an attractive woman that attracted you.
Why isn’t she interested?
Because everyone wants to feel special. When you make them feel that way, they’ll want to do the same for you.
Your mindset – Reset your measure of success from obtaining an outcome to simply being curious about people.
Have a curiosity date (or two).
When you are meeting new people, your only goal is to answer this question about them:
“Who are they?”
Stay mindful of your goal. Plan ahead what you would like to know about people you meet. Make sure they are things you actually care about. If it doesn’t really interest you, you won’t be engaged and they will be able to tell you are not being genuinely interested.
You’re trying to get a better understanding of their personality, interests, and overall character. Have a few questions brainstormed in advance that you could ask.
What are their favorite books, movies, TV shows, comedians, or musicians?
What’s the best place they’ve traveled to? Or, where are they most excited to visit?
Would they rather live in the country or the city?
What do they love or hate about their current job? What’s their dream job instead?
What’s their favorite way to exercise?
What did they want to be when they were a kid?
What scares them?
What’s the biggest change they made in the last year?
Are they close with their family?
What’s something most people don’t know about them?
If they were to die tomorrow, how would they spend their last day?
Some additional tips to help with your curiosity night:
If you can’t remember what to ask, remember the four topics that are always guaranteed to get people to open up.
Ask them about their DREAMS, RECREATION, OCCUPATION and FAMILY.
It’s best to start out with lighter questions and progress to more personal questions as time progresses. They will feel uneasy if the first question you ask is too personal.
Instead of asking “Do you like to read?” Ask an open ended question that will require them to open up about themselves. “What is your favourite type of book?”
You want to learn about their emotions and motivations. So, don’t just ask cold, bare facts. Another example, don’t just ask do they have a family. Ask what is the best thing about their family.
Don’t just ask what they do for a living, ask what drives them to go every morning, what is their biggest challenge, and where they would like to go from there.
When they say something that impresses you, give them a real compliment.
Remember their name. People love to hear their own name and feel special when you remember it.
Your old mindset of “How can I be good enough for this person? has now changed to “Is this someone I want in my life based on what I’m learning about them?” and this cultivates a mindset of abundance.
It forces you to make an honest evaluation of people and takes them off that pedestal. You will no longer feel desperate to fit their mold and you will have the courage to walk away from those who aren’t a good fit for you.
You will grow in confidence. In turn, that confidence attracts not only more people, but the right people.
Now that you have people interested in you. Don’t forget to treat them the same way you treat those closest to you.
Do you know that, as a man the numbers are in your favour at our “A Table for Six” dinners?
A notorious bank robber of 1920’s, 30’s and 40’s America called Willie Sutton kept robbing banks over and over again. The reason he was so famous is because he would inevitably get caught, escape and continue to rob again.
After having a long career as a thief, he was asked why he kept robbing banks even though he knew he would inevitably be caught again.
“Because that’s where the money is.”
What Willie did was morally wrong. But there is something we can learn from him. He understood his chosen profession.
A Table for Six is where the genuine, relationship ready single women are…
Put the odds in your favour of meeting genuine single women
Do you have the information that can help you stop wasting time with judgemental, dismissive women? Do you know how you can put the odds in your favour of meeting genuine single women?
The Single Best Way to Meet Women – By Far
Online dating sites don’t disclose their ratio of male to female subscribers. But, single men tell me their experiences show the odds are against them on these sites. They send messages (kisses) to women they find interesting and attractive. Often the women lack the manners to even bother to reply.
If you have spent anytime on online dating sites, this will be no surprise to you.
The numbers are skewed in the single man’s favour at our singles dinners.
Here’s the important information for you! The ratio of men to women who understand the value of attending our A Table for Six dinners is skewed in the single man’s favour. You can meet new ladies each week, “in the flesh”.
Single women are comfortable in the small group situation in a restaurant and feel relaxed with no pressure. That is a big reason why they are so attracted to our singles dinners.
Get a huge advantage by attending our dinners
The single men who are in the know about this, understand they have a huge advantage by attending our dinners. They can meet single women face to face, who are interested in a special relationship and genuine partner.
Take the guess work out of meeting a special woman
The singles dinners are perfect for the busy single man! The dinners are coordinated for you. You can sit down for dinner with three single women who you know for sure are single and interested in a relationship. You will meet different women each time and the groups are compatible with you in mind. It takes the guess work out of meeting a special woman.
You may be meeting her for the first time, or you could have been on a few dates already, but how do you know if she is into you? Here are a few simple things you can watch out for that will give you some hints.
Is she responding or ignoring?
When you send a text, or leave a voicemail, does she respond to your attempts at communication? If she does, that a good sign. With modern technology, it’s easier than ever to filter out people that we don’t want in our lives. If she wants to avoid you, it isn’t very hard. However, if she replies, responds and even initiates communication with you, it’s a clear sign that there is interest and attraction.
She is attracted to you when…
Who has her attention?
If a woman is into you, she won’t be spending a lot of time texting, checking or talking on her mobile phone while on a date with you. If there is an important call she needs to take, she will excuse herself and explain it is family, work or something that can’t be put off.
Otherwise, if she spends any time throughout the date being distracted by her phone, there’s a good chance she isn’t really attracted to you.
Does she see the funny side of it?
This one is probably the biggest, clearest sign that she is attracted to you. Humour doesn’t lie. It’s also one of the biggest attractors for women. If she laughs at your jokes, it is a clear sign that there is a connection between the two of you, because humour is a very personal thing. It also shows that she can relax around you a bit.
Is she chasing you?
Our aim is to get her to be as proactive in attracting you. Getting her to chase you a little too by phoning you, or suggesting a next outing is a step up from her responding to your calls. If she does, you don’t need to wonder if she is into you. She definitely is.
What does her body tell you?
Our body language doesn’t lie. A large part of our communication is nothing to do with the words we say. Rather, body language and tonality say far more than words ever could. When you are together, is she angled toward you a lot of the time? Or is her body turned away from you? Does she ever touch you? How does she react when you touch her? Analysing her body language is one of the surest ways for you to tell if she is into you.
She may not be doing all of these things, but if she is ticking some of these boxes, it’s a good sign that she likes you a lot.
Want to meet genuine, attractive single women in a small, relaxed group at dinner? We can help you meet the right women and have an opportunity to get to know them a little at dinner. You can let them see how great you are, and amazing outcomes will happen.
No woman wants to think she is dating a man who is desperate. She wants you to be secure, not clingy. She doesn’t want you to idealise her, she wants you to see her for the unique person she is. She wants to know that you are choosing her because you think she is special and not just because you are desperate for a girlfriend.
Declaring your feelings too soon If you are stuck in the “friend zone” and you are a “nice guy”, it is tempting to profess your feelings outright, without any flirting or creating attraction. You are nervous about flirting, creating physical contact or moving to a more intimate relationship.
You just pretend to be an amazing friend. You are sure that if you hang around for a while, you will build a romantic connection automatically. But, when romance doesn’t happen, you resort to an outright declaration of love.
You promise that you will be the best boyfriend she ever had and will treat her better than any man ever has. You let her know how much you care for her and how fond of her you are. You are sure that this will convince her that you are the perfect man for her.
Sadly, an essential ingredient will be missing. Attraction is an emotion a woman must feel through having flirty fun with you. Your bold, cheeky actions are what will make her feel attracted to you.
There are two outcomes if you declare your feelings without that flirting first. The girl may let you down gently, not wanting to hurt your feelings saying “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” Or, and much less likely, she agrees to try it out because she you do care about her and you are thoughtful and polite. Before too long she realises she just doesn’t have that attraction for you and ends the relationship.
Want to meet genuine, attractive single women in a small, relaxed group at dinner? We can help you meet the right women and have an opportunity to get to know them a little at dinner. You can let them see how great you are, and amazing outcomes will happen.
Men- you need to know this Do you want that woman to give you her number and actually catch up with you again? Well, you need to get her permission before you even ask.
Talk with her about the things you are passionate about. Find out hers, and find ones that you both share.
Men- you need to know this
This will get her excited to share new experiences with you. It’s much easier for a woman to say ‘yes’ to catch up with you again when there is a clear reason. She needs to be able to justify to herself (and her friends) why she wants to see you again and to know that she is making a good choice. Meet her at our dinners here
If you have already talked about a great cycling spot with a beautiful view along the way, your antique MG car you love to take for drives, or a fantastic band who have a show coming up, you are painting a picture in her mind. Then, it’s much easier to say:
‘I’d love you to see my car, come for a drive next weekend, or ‘So, we are definitely seeing that show next week.’ and then pullout your phone.
“Do you want to catch up some time? or “I would like your number to meet up again sometime.”
Which invitation do you think she is more likely to agree to? Which one makes it more difficult to say no to”?
She is no fool, she knows what’s at stake. She just needs a reason to say yes. So, plant the seed of excitement and anticipation early on, you won’t need to try so hard to sell her on the idea of spending time together – she will do it herself. Meet her at our dinners here
If you would like some more insight into how this could work for you, call me on 1300 885 311 and I will be happy to encourage, and inspire you.
How you treat your Mum
How you treat your Mum is an indication of how you will treat her if it becomes a long term relationship. Nobody wants a Mummy’s boy, but do you treat your Mum with respect and genuine concern? What is your general attitude to her and do you help her when she needs it? Your new date is thinking about these things and if she would want to be treated this way.
What are your friends like?
If your mates are sweet and supportive, she will be impressed. If they are mean to each other or mostly only share common interests like gambling, heavy drinking or strip clubs, it will most probably be a turn off.
Who stays in his life?
If you keep friends in your life for many years, you probably have wonderful qualities that these people want to be around. If you are constantly ditching your old friends for new ones, then she may decide that you could have some toxic elements in your life.
Do you fight fair?
When you are in the intoxicating early part of your relationship, you most likely won’t have had a fight yet. But, you are sure to have one before too long. The best couples in the world fight…it’s healthy. The difference is how you fight. If you are nasty during a fight, use name calling, become aggressive and scary, she will be considering if you are who she is looking for. A good guy can disagree without disrespecting.
How she feels
She is going to be thinking about how you make her feel. Do you make her feel special and important? Are you considerate and thoughtful? Of course, a little bit of excitement and unpredictability is well received too.
Do you come across as rock solid and someone she could rely on? She will think you are spectacular if you inspire her to be a better person and bring out the best in her.
She gave you her number, you have phoned a couple of times and left a message…she isn’t returning your calls. Have you experienced this? What is going on?
Rest assured you are not the only man who met a woman, it felt like there was a spark there. She gave you her number to make contact, but now when you call or text, she never returns your call or responds in any way. Why is this happening?
Why she does not return your call
The important thing to know is that it most probably isn’t anything about you. You should not take it personally. Once you understand this, it will set you free. You will simply move on and let her be.
Here are some of the reasons that could be the cause:
You may have shared some laughs and had some things on common. She thought you were polite, but just didn’t see you as someone she would date. She wasn’t really interested in the first place.
She got a bit caught up in the moment. It made her feel good to have someone interested in her. She felt something for you at the time, but now that the moment has passed, the interest isn’t there anymore. You were interesting, but she doesn’t want to take it further.
You could be the right person, but the wrong time. She could have recently come out of another relationship. Her heart could have been broken, or she could still be holding a flame for someone else. She just is not ready.
A lot of women don’t like to hurt a man’s feelings. They are not sure and don’t want to lead you on. They worry about having to reject you down the track. They prefer to avoid the anxiety and decide not to go there and remain single.
Both men and women tend to take things personally. It is usually about something that is going on in their lives. It is not that you are uninteresting. If they decide not to respond to your calls, just move on to someone who thinks you are an amazing person.
No matter how good you are with women, you will ultimately come across this scenario. The more experience you have, the better you will become at recognising the warning signs. Don’t ever take it personally.
It is a numbers game. Anytime you are dealing with people, there is going to be unpredictable behaviour and outcomes. Dating makes your emotions vulnerable at anytime and if you are aware that these situations can happen, you will be better prepared. You can dust yourself off, pick yourself up and go out to meet new women.
“As I look back on my life, I realise that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.”
Why do some men get a a ‘Yes please’ pass my number on and others continue to get a ‘No thank you, he seemed very nice but i was not attracted to him’?
I notice a similar theme happening. The men who don’t get the number are mostly very nice, genuine guys. They’ve come along to dinner with their neat haircut, their fresh clean shirt and clean fingernails. They have their friendly guy smile and answer politely when it is their turn to speak or someone asks them a question.
What most men don’t know about women
Men are programmed to, basically, mate with almost any girl who shows up with nice hair, not too fat and anything better than a ’plain’ face.
Women, on the other hand, have a whole host of things they are looking for. No woman wants to imagine herself with a ‘regular, average man’ even if she is, in fact, a regular average woman. Every woman wants a man like she sees in the movies or reads about in romance books….unfair? Yes!
When an average man goes out, he usually goes like this:
1. Regular, average (boring) clothes,
2. Regular, average (boring) conversation,
3. Regular, average (boring) friendly vibe and
4. No idea how to run the date or manage it, instead hoping that somehow everyone will work out on its own.
Imagine if you were going for a job interview and it went like this: -Show up to interview in baggy, oversized, average suit
-Talk about whatever comes to mind, generally average boring work experience, with no forethought or focus on highlights like accomplishments and achievements
-Have an average, unassuming, regular vibe
-Come in with no plan for the interview, simply assuming he’ll just “wing it” and hoping he gets the job.
Do you think the job interview would go better is you:
-Show up in crisp, powerful clothes,
-Have well-thought out responses to interview question and insightful comments and queries to make and ask back
-Have a vibe of being excited, a go-getter, and an achiever
-Arrive with a definite plan for how the interview will go-who gel will begin it, how he will manage the middle, and how he will close it at the end.
Of course it would and so will your dinner dates.
Dress with style
Stop looking and acting like a friendly, nice guy.
Be interesting and have a plan.
The women that you find attractive spend a lot of time and money on enhancing their appearance. They put on make-up, have an up to date hair-do, they dress up in interesting clothes that enhance and make the most of their appearance. They wear high heels. They also read books on how to do better with men, how to be successful in dating, and on how men think and what men want. Women are constantly learning how to be more attractive to men and adjusting themselves accordingly. It sounds like a lot of work doesn’t it?
A lot of men are not at all aware of this. They still dress the same way they have for years, talk about the same things with women they talk about with their mates, and hope that, despite it being the man’s responsibility to lead things forward, things will somehow magically work out on their own. The men you see in those advertisements with the muscles and edgy look, were not born like that. They have worked on it over a period of time.
Once you understand what to do to have an advantage, it is just a matter of continually working on being more attractive to women, just as women as working hard to be attractive to them.
That is how a man can become a dashing, debonair chap that women are interested in and want to date.