Tag Archives: new relationships

Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward

Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward

Relationship breakups are never easy. The end of a relationship with someone you really care about can cause more pain than most events in your life.
Even if you were the one to instigate the breakup, you will most likely feel a whole range of emotions during the coming weeks and months.
Maybe you can look back now and clearly see the signs that trouble was coming. Or maybe, you still can’t work out how this happened.
Men don’t tend to acknowledge their emotions and feelings and are even less likely to discuss them. So there’s a lot less written about about their side of the situation.
But they certainly feel the range of emotions from disbelief, anger, sadness, loss, depression but sometimes relief.
Studies show that men  might even be affected more by breakups than women.
There are a lot of different variations of breakups. And every relationship is unique. Here are some coping strategies to help single men through those bleak, dark days after a breakup.

Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward

Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward

Feel the emotions and move through the pain

From childhood, men are discouraged from showing their emotions. “Be a man” and “big boys don’t cry” are phrases meant to hold those feelings in and don’t dare show them. During a relationship breakup, a man may have such strong emotions it overwhelms the instinct to suppress them. Instead of trying to hold them in, just allow them to wash over you. Feel them and know that you are going to feel bad for some time. It is better to really feel those emotions and work through them. To push them down will mean that they will manifest in a different (worse) way.
It may be tempting to cover up your feelings in temporary distractions such as drinking, drugs or working too much. This may help to distract you from the pain temporarily, but it may prolong the healing process that is necessary to move forward.

Don’t go all out to try to get her back

If your partner did the breaking up, you may feel tempted to go all out to win her back with flowers, poems and gifts. Unfortunately this may just come across as desperate. They could just need some space and showering them with over the top gestures will just make them feel pressured. If they are truly the one for you, no such huge gestures will be needed. You can’t force someone to want to spend their life with you or love you.

Quality sleep helps in moving forward

Sleep can be affected. Your mind is going crazy and can be out of control going over what went wrong. Those conversation you had or wished you had. And what you wish you had done differently. iTunes have a lot of recordings that are effective in helping to replace that mind chatter with peaceful sounds to help you drift off and to get some quality sleep.

Do something for yourself

The temptation to wallow in self pity or sadness can be strong. You are going to have to really take strong positive steps to use this time to your own long term advantage. It’s a good time to take up a new interest. Perhaps something you always wanted to do but couldn’t while you were in the relationship. Doing something creative, like playing a musical Instrument can be therapeutic. Even if you are not normally the creative type. If you would prefer to be more active, it is a good time to be more focussed on fitness. Being active has proven positive effects on mental and emotional well being.

Enjoy being single
There is a positive side to being single. There will come a time when you move from being miserable to realising some of the sacrifices you made in the relationship to keep the harmony. Make the decision to do something you wouldn’t have done when you were in the relationship. Go out with your mates to an all you can eat bar b que meat meal, go and watch some of the fight championships or stay in and watch Batman films.  It’s about enjoying your new single status. It’s making the most of an otherwise painful situation.You may even feel empowered when you realise that you now have the freedom to do the things that make you happy.

Buy a gift for yourself

Spoil yourself by purchasing something that makes you happy. No need to empty your savings account, but sometimes when you are feeling low a hit of retail therapy can give you a boost. Maybe you have put off upgrading your golf clubs, or buying that motorbike you’ve dreamed of owning. Recognise and acknowledge that you can make you own choices to do what makes you happy.

Get away

Taking a holiday away after a relationship breakup is truly expressing your new freedom. It will be different for each man, but the beauty is that you alone can choose. You don’t need to take anyone else’s wishes  into consideration. Take a road trip with no bookings or definite plans. Take a hiking holiday in the wilderness to reconnect with nature. Take some time to find the real you who could be a little wiser now.

Take a step back to look at the failed relationship objectively. Try not to blame anyone. I’m sure you can recognise there were things you could have done differently too. We are all just doing the best we can with what we know at the time. One day you may look back and recognise that the things you have learned from this failed relationship have enabled you to learn and grow and to enjoy a new amazing relationship. When you know more, you can do better.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

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Meet at dinner? 8 good reasons

Meet at dinner? 8 good reasons

Who will I meet at dinner?
Before you attend our dinners, remind yourself that you may meet the man/woman of your dreams. But, even if you don’t, he/she may live next door to them. Or, you never know, he/she may invite you along to meet a group of their friends with lots of interesting singles. Someone at dinner may just inspire you to get involved with a hobby or interest you have been putting off for so long. They may inspire you to book that trip to Europe you have been dreaming of.

Meet at dinner? 8 good reasons

Meet at dinner? 8 good reasons

It’s important to be pro-active in  going out to meet at dinner, but it’s not possible to know how a partner may appear to you. The most important thing is to remember that even if you don’t meet a partner at a particular dinner, it will lead to new, diverse, interesting experiences you would never have enjoyed and discovered if you hadn’t attended.

This is who you will meet at dinner.

They are tired of Singles who lie about wanting a real, long term relationship.

They love these opportunities for Singles to meet at dinner where there’s no pressure and it’s all about having fun and making new connections first.

They crave meeting people and having that feeling of “Ah, these people really get me.”

They want to meet decent Singles who have dealt with their baggage and have an open heart.

They struggle to deal with Singles who just want to be able to tick off their list of requirements.

They secretly yearn to meet someone who makes the journey seem like the time is right, the place is right and the connection is definitely right.

They are looking for their new best friend.

They want to have that special connection with a partner who treats them with love and kindness, expressed through kind thoughts, loving words and kind actions.

Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
— A.A. Milne

Do any of these resonate with you?
Are there any others you would add to our list?
Is that the sort of person you are?

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six

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An amazing story~Don’t miss it

An amazing story~Don’t miss it  

When you are setting out of your house on an evening out, are you excited and looking forward to having some fun and connecting with new interesting people? Or, does the little voice in your head sabotage you before you even arrive by whispering that you won’t meet anyone you like?

If you set your intention before you arrive at your destination – if you decide that you are looking forward to meeting people with interesting stories to tell – if you see yourself having a great time – you are setting yourself up to succeed. You will be laying the groundwork for making new friends, dating and even falling in love to happen.

Smiling man holding flowers over gray background and looking at camera

An amazing story~Don’t miss it

But if you set out expecting that the man or woman of your dreams will be there with outstretched arms waiting for you, you are setting yourself up to be disappointed and also missing out on a real gem.

We have all been guilty of judging. It’s a natural human trait. But it is self sabotaging behaviour. You meet some new people and make a judgement about them because of their hairstyle or the colour of their shoes. This moment of judgement could stop you from getting to know them and you could be missing out on a wonderful friendship.

Judging others is really only hurting ourselves. It’s no reflection on the other person.

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~ Wayne dyer

If you find yourself slipping into that mode of noticing negative things, be committed to looking for opportunities that bring you pleasure. The delicious food, a spectacular view or the person you just met who gave you a tip about real estate. Notice the lovely smile on the person with the purple shoes.

And that person with the very different hairstyle, could be the most interesting person in the room.

If you judge a book by it’s cover,
you might miss out on an amazing story

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

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Are you ready for a new relationship?

Are you ready for a new relationship?

Relationships are not black and white. Is the old relationship really dead? Should I be going out to meet someone else? Or should I just wait to see how my old relationship pans out? Sometimes we struggle to know when is the time to take the step to see who else is out there for us.

Are you ready for a new relationship?

Are you ready for a new relationship?

You may be missing the companionship of the opposite sex and would like to take the plunge and start meeting new people. It is important that you have dealt with any relationship baggage before you return to the dating scene. Perhaps you could ask yourself the following questions to learn if you are ready to move on, or are still dealing with a past relationship.

Are you able to speak of the past relationship without feeling angry or bitter about the way it ended. This kind of reaction may be a turn-off to potential new love interests and may indicate you are still grieving.

If your ex contacted you to rekindle the relationship how would you respond? If your immediate response is to take him/her back, you might not be ready to participate in a new healthy relationship.

Do you talk about the relationship or your ex a lot? If you find yourself in conversations with your friends or family that lead to a story involving your ex, the situation is still very much  at the forefront of your mind and you may need to take more time to heal any hurt caused by the breakup.

Can you speak of the relationship in a positive way? Recounting stories, accepting the relationship for what it was, realising what you may have learnt from this relationship is a strong sign that you are moving on. If you still get anxious or upset when you see your ex or look at a photo, you might need more time to heal.

Everyone’s journey is different and we all take different amounts of time to grieve. But do encourage yourself to let go and move on. Once you feel you are ready, try going out and having fun without it needing to result in a relationship straight away. Give yourself positive self talk and remember that good things still await you and you will find that someone special at the right time.

Our A Table for Six dinners are a great way to ease yourself back into the singles social scene. There’s no pressure and you will be able to practise enjoying the company of a lot of different people. We’re here to serve you and to help ease you back into dating.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

 

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Ask for his number. It is easy

“No” is just a word. It doesn’t mean anything else about you!

If you asked someone for a contact to catch up again and they said “No,” don’t make it mean anything about you. There are many reasons why they may have declined. Most often it is because of something in their life. Perhaps they lack the self-confidence to put themselves in a position where they could become vulnerable. By vulnerable I mean letting someone close to them. Their ex-partner may have come back into the scene. Or they may be still healing from a past relationship.

Ask for his number. It is easy

Ask for his number. It is easy

The important thing is that you remain optimistic and open to possibility. I’d like to extend an invitation to you to ask more often when you meet someone appealing. 100% of the people you don’t ask will not say “Yes.” So ask, and if they say “No,” it doesn’t mean anything about you.

Remember that we will do the asking for you as part of our personal service to you. When we send our request for feedback, just let us know who you would like to see again and we will follow up for you.

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress

Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress.

So often we have a big goal in mind. We know exactly what we want.

“I want a husband/wife who I adore and who adores me.”

Maybe they are nowhere in sight just yet. However, It’s important to remember and acknowledge the progress you have made towards your big goal.

Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress

Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress

Six months ago, you were newly single. Not a thing planned for the weekend, except feeling sorry for yourself. All of your friends are married or in relationships, so no  possibility of a fun night out there.
But look at you now! You’ve updated your wardrobe and hairstyle. You’re feeling much more confident. You have met some new single friends at those fitness classes you’ve joined. Maybe you’ve joined A Table for Six where you’ve had some very enjoyable evenings meeting new singles over dinner. The new friends you’ve made enjoy going out for dinner, or the movies, or to that sporting game as much as you do, so your weekends are filling up quickly now.

Don’t downplay your progress. Feelings of guilt or unworthiness can take the wind out of your sails. Charles Duhigg, author of acclaimed book The Power of Habit states: “A huge body of research has shown that small wins have enormous power, and influence disproportionate to the accomplishments of the victories themselves.”

Your confidence has grown a lot because you know there are other interesting singles who are single too.

So, track your progress. Your life is a little better every day and you are making progress. Your social life is so much better than it was six months ago.  Rather than complaining that you haven’t arrived at the big goal yet, embrace your evolution.

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” ~Martin Luther King Jr
Encourage and acknowledge yourself this week,

A Table for SixMargaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

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Want a different dating result? Change your thoughts

Want a different dating result? Change your thoughts

Are you are holding on to negative beliefs about finding new friends, meeting a suitable partner and dating? Your mind is very powerful. The stories you tell yourself can either hold you back and prevent positive change in your life or they can allow new wonderful people to come into your life and new relationships to blossom. Even the most optimistic of us can be guilty of this at times.

Want a different dating outcome? change your thoughts

Want a different dating outcome? change your thoughts season and representing happynes and travel concept

It’s always interesting when speaking to new potential members. Many have reached a point where they know they need to be proactive and are ready and open to what (and whom) will come into their lives and where it may take them.

Others have created problems and scenarios in their own mind before they have even stepped out the door for their first dinner. YOUR beliefs can either help or hurt you!

For example,  “I’m not good at meeting new people. ” or “I will never meet anyone as lovely as my late husband/wife.”

Limiting thoughts and beliefs create the same problems that repeat themselves in different relationships. Habitual negative thoughts run on autopilot,  and if you believe them, you can’t change your life and solve the same problems that can keep arising in different relationships and situations.

Your thoughts determine your feelings, and your behaviours and actions are determined by your thoughts. With negative thoughts running unchecked in your mind, it’s difficult to feel good about yourself. When your behaviour and actions come from feeling bad about yourself, you won’t get good results.

In order to achieve a different result, stop and check those negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones that are just as true or even more true.

An example would be, if you believe there are no good men/women out there, you’ll continue attracting men/women who are not good for you. When you stop this negative thought and replace it with one that serves you,  you’ll open up the possibility to attract  a wealth of new friends and even a partner to share your life.

Start meeting new people and expect to have an enjoyable time, meeting interesting people and don’t quit on yourself.

“If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree.” ~Ji Rohn

Replace your thoughts with positive ones this weekA Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

5 secret things women look for at A Table for Six

5 secret things women look for at a Table for Six

Would you like to know what women are really checking out about the men at our A Table for Six singles dinners?

Some of the things that the women are taking note of when they meet you at dinner may surprise you. Or maybe you already know.

5 Things women Look For At a Table For Six

5 Things women Look For At a Table For Six

How you interact with everyone at the table including the other men.
It is an opportunity for them to gauge how you act in social situations. Are you considerate and inclusive in your conversations with everyone at the table?

How you interact with the restaurant staff.
Do you joke around in a “brighten their day and make their job easier way”? Do you treat them with respect and courtesy?

How you deal with settling the bill at the end of the evening.
Are you generous by including a small tip? Are you organised by bringing along cash to put in your share?

Your general attitude to life in your conversations.
Are you upbeat and mostly positive in your conversations? Do you speak negatively about ex-partners or women in general?

Your appearance
Are your fingernails clean? Are your clothes clean, appropriate and fairly up to date in fashion. Do you put in some effort to keep some sense of fitness and health?

I’m sure these are the things that you are taking note of when you meet women at dinner as well. It works both ways. Either way, we appreciate that you have dressed up nicely and come to dinner to meet our lovely female members.

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Surround yourself with the kind of people you want to meet

Surround yourself with the kind of people you want to meet

“Just have patience, the perfect person will come along when the time is right.”

If you’ve been single for a while, I’m sure you have heard this many times. You probably don’t enjoy hearing it. We have all become accustomed to having what we want, when we want it.

If you  find yourself at a green light with a driver in front who is day dreaming, how many seconds do you wait before you toot the horn? And waiting for someone to answer a phone call when you’re kept waiting is another top frustration.

But when it comes to finding a partner, they are absolutely right -when the time is right, your person will come into your life.

The best plan is to lead your day-to-day life in a way where you’re enjoying yourself, surrounding yourself with and meeting the kinds of singles you want to meet so that you’re not always ‘on the hunt.’ Then you won’t have that desperate vibe of being at a venue only to meet your next date.”

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photos-friends-very-good-restaurant-clink-glasses-image29016753

Are you living your dream life? I’m not talking about material possessions you wish you had. Take time to think about your decisions and where  you’re headed in the important areas of life, such as your social life. If there is even a single thing you could do right now to make your life better, go for it. Take control of your life and actively design it as you go along.

Being single and having friends who are a happily dating or married can leave you feeling like a 3rd wheel. It can make you want love more than anything in the world, and it’s natural to feel lonely or sad if you can’t find it. But love yourself and love spending time solo, and finding ways to stay interested and excited about life without a significant other. This will make you feel even better when that special person comes along!

“Never say someone completes you.
You have to feel complete all on your own.
Instead, look for someone to complement your completeness”

Love yourself and enjoy yourself this weekA Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

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Dating goals, actions & amazing outcomes

Dating goals, actions &  amazing outcomes

If you set goals every year about your social life, but haven’t been able to reach them, you are not alone. But fortunately, there’s a way that could make the difference. You won’t be all talk and no action any longer.

Set a timeline for your goals and let’s call it S.M.A.R.T. Business consultants have used this acronym for many years and it’s proven to work, if you follow the guideline. So why not use it in the most important area of your life-your goals of finding wonderful, supportive friends and/or a partner who wants a real, long term relationship.

How to attract the perfect person for YOU

Dating goals, actions & amazing outcomes

Just because you haven’t reached your goals of finding new interesting people to spend time with, or dating people who make you feel alive and vibrant doesn’t make you bad, lazy or incapable. You just needed the best tools to help you.

Specific
If you set a vague goal like “I want to start meeting more eligible Singles”, how will you know when you have reached your goal?

More specific goals provide you a guide on how to get there. Breaking it down into steps will stop you from feeling overwhelmed.

Questions like these will get you on the path.

Who:               Who is involved?
What:              What is it that I want to accomplish?
When:             Establish a time frame to have attained the goal.
Where:           What are your requirements and constraints.
Why:               Your specific reasons and purpose of accomplishing the goal.

These questions will lead you to ask yourself questions like these.

Do I want to meet a lot of single people or focus on meeting a partner?

What activities do I enjoy where I could potentially meet other Singles I would enjoy meeting?

How much time do I have to spend sourcing potential singles before I meet them?

How much time do I want to spend attending events etc. meeting Singles?

What could I do to give myself a better chance of meet desirable Singles? Such as a new hairdo or loosing some weight.

Measurable
Establish a way of measuring if you are on track to attain your goal. How many and how much are great questions to ask yourself.

How many events will I attend per month?

How many follow up coffee or drinks dates will I have?

What other steps have I taken this month to present myself in my best light?

Attainable
Now that you have defined the desires that are most important to you, you’ll start to imagine yourself attaining them. You’ll think of ways to make them happen.

If you know you can attend one singles event weekly, and you start doing so, you’ll notice that your confidence will grow. You’ll feel like you are on track and your goal is attainable.

Realistic
A realistic goal is something you are willing and able to work towards. It may be a high or low goal.

You may want to simply expand your social circle to include three new friends this year. (That would be great, wouldn’t it?) Or a high goal may be to meet your potential life partner in six weeks.

Time Frame
Without an end date to your goal, there is no sense of urgency. The date you wish to accomplish your goal will fuel you to act on things that you sometimes may want to delay till later.

Here’s an example of a vague goal:

I want to meet more Singles and a partner.

Here’s an example of a specific goal:

I want to meet a life partner by 30th June. I will attend two singles events and will follow up with four people I meet every week for six months.

Hope this helps you attain everything you wish for yourself this year.

Start enjoying the dating journey this weekA Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

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