“No matter how much we have achieved in any area of our lives, true fulfilment can only be found in one thing: the emotional quality of our personal relationships. ~Tony Robbins
Stop that attitude of procrastination
What do you think about that quote? It certainly rings true for me. Everyone wants to have financial security and to be able to enjoy the freedom of knowing they can have the possessions, experiences and creature comforts they desire. But have you ever noticed that plenty of people such as celebrities or the mega wealthy are among the most unhappy, screwed-up people on the planet?
And yet, so often, we forsake our personal relationships and the time and attention we could devote to making this area of lives much better. Instead, we work ridiculous hours or put our heads in the sand thinking that something will change by itself.
Here is just one of the ways you can create new or better relationships.
Have a warm and open attitude to new people.
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
You are going to feel some nervousness and that voice in your head may tell you not to do it. But, being open to meeting new people and breaking through the inner resistance, will be much more rewarding.
Our members are amazing and awesome. They have that nervousness and resistance too. But they are proactive and know the rewards that follow when they make the effort to be friendly, open and accepting of the people they meet. That’s why it is my ultimate pleasure to be able to facilitate these experiences for them.
One of my male members told me about this experience. He had only been talking to this woman for part of the time at dinner. She said “You are the most interesting man I’ve met lately.” He was confused, he hadn’t told her very much about himself.
He said “How is that possible?” It made her laugh and she realised he was right.
The most interesting guy she had met! Why?
He wanted to know why she felt that way, so he prodded. Eventually she said “Because you ask really unique questions”.
The way you listen and get to know someone is one thing that can make a person interesting. If you know how to ask powerful questions that challenge a girl or make her think in a new way, she will think the conversation is interesting and project that on to you!
Next time you’re getting to know a girl at dinner (or anywhere else), don’t waste your time asking the same old questions that every other guy asks her like “What do you do for a living?Where are you from?” etc. You’ll get to those eventually.
Next time, ask interesting questions like “If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?” or “When was the last time you laughed so hard you almost peed?”They love answering those types of questions.
When she is enjoying telling you about something she loves to do, ask her “What’s that like?”
Try to engage her passionate and emotional side rather than her rehearsed answers she has given many times before. When you can get a girl to express her feelings about a certain subject, she will feel a connection with you on an emotional level.
That’s a powerful start and she will remember how you made her feel.
Some people believe that to find a perfect partner, they need to find someone who shares the same interests, hobbies, falls within a certain age group or looks a certain way.
How important are shared values?
Of course, nobody is perfect. Everyone has some flaws or baggage if they have lived a life. But to find someone who has the right attitude with a few flaws is more realistic. For a relationship to survive in the medium to long term, it is more important to share most of the same values.
When our members join A Table for Six, we do take information on these interests and also their values. Some people have spent more time on deciding what is important in a car than their relationship. So take some time to list your top ten values . Then when you meet someone, you have a gauge to go by. Don’t expect them to be 10’s on every single item on your list, at least a 6 and preferable an 8 or 9.
Some of the more common core values might be;
1. They believe that family is very important.
2. They believe that maintaining a healthy work/life balance is important.
3. They believe that honesty is of utmost importance and trust must be earned.
4. They believe, or don’t believe in God or have an affiliation with a religious institution.
5. They believe in maintaining a healthy body.
6. They have a belief in being responsible in handling finances.
These are also values you might list as important to you;
To really know if someone you meet has these values may take time. It is very well if they say they have them, but a core value is only a core value if the person lives by them, at least most of the time.
So what do you want? It’s good to have high standards, but who do you need to become to attract the person with these qualities you have listed? Is it time to look within yourself and ask if you are someone a person with these values would be attracted to? This is the real question and where the biggest opportunity of change lies! It can also be hardest. Start putting a plan together for your life.
Who will I meet at dinner?
Before you attend our dinners, remind yourself that you may meet the man/woman of your dreams. But, even if you don’t, he/she may live next door to them. Or, you never know, he/she may invite you along to meet a group of their friends with lots of interesting singles. Someone at dinner may just inspire you to get involved with a hobby or interest you have been putting off for so long. They may inspire you to book that trip to Europe you have been dreaming of.
Meet at dinner? 8 good reasons
It’s important to be pro-active in going out to meet at dinner, but it’s not possible to know how a partner may appear to you. The most important thing is to remember that even if you don’t meet a partner at a particular dinner, it will lead to new, diverse, interesting experiences you would never have enjoyed and discovered if you hadn’t attended.
This is who you will meet at dinner.
They are tired of Singles who lie about wanting a real, long term relationship.
They love these opportunities for Singles to meet at dinner where there’s no pressure and it’s all about having fun and making new connections first.
They crave meeting people and having that feeling of “Ah, these people really get me.”
They want to meet decent Singles who have dealt with their baggage and have an open heart.
They struggle to deal with Singles who just want to be able to tick off their list of requirements.
They secretly yearn to meet someone who makes the journey seem like the time is right, the place is right and the connection is definitely right.
They are looking for their new best friend.
They want to have that special connection with a partner who treats them with love and kindness, expressed through kind thoughts, loving words and kind actions.
“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
— A.A. Milne
Do any of these resonate with you?
Are there any others you would add to our list?
Is that the sort of person you are?
The secret is to ask the right questions. They will feel special and know you are interested.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re meeting people to make new friends, or date an amazing woman…
They can tell if you are genuinely interested in them.
Humans are reciprocal beings. When you give interest, you get interest.
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie
Women want to know that you find them (specifically) interesting. They want to know that there’s SOMETHING other than just being an attractive woman that attracted you.
Why isn’t she interested?
Because everyone wants to feel special. When you make them feel that way, they’ll want to do the same for you.
Your mindset – Reset your measure of success from obtaining an outcome to simply being curious about people.
Have a curiosity date (or two).
When you are meeting new people, your only goal is to answer this question about them:
“Who are they?”
Stay mindful of your goal. Plan ahead what you would like to know about people you meet. Make sure they are things you actually care about. If it doesn’t really interest you, you won’t be engaged and they will be able to tell you are not being genuinely interested.
You’re trying to get a better understanding of their personality, interests, and overall character. Have a few questions brainstormed in advance that you could ask.
What are their favorite books, movies, TV shows, comedians, or musicians?
What’s the best place they’ve traveled to? Or, where are they most excited to visit?
Would they rather live in the country or the city?
What do they love or hate about their current job? What’s their dream job instead?
What’s their favorite way to exercise?
What did they want to be when they were a kid?
What scares them?
What’s the biggest change they made in the last year?
Are they close with their family?
What’s something most people don’t know about them?
If they were to die tomorrow, how would they spend their last day?
Some additional tips to help with your curiosity night:
If you can’t remember what to ask, remember the four topics that are always guaranteed to get people to open up.
Ask them about their DREAMS, RECREATION, OCCUPATION and FAMILY.
It’s best to start out with lighter questions and progress to more personal questions as time progresses. They will feel uneasy if the first question you ask is too personal.
Instead of asking “Do you like to read?” Ask an open ended question that will require them to open up about themselves. “What is your favourite type of book?”
You want to learn about their emotions and motivations. So, don’t just ask cold, bare facts. Another example, don’t just ask do they have a family. Ask what is the best thing about their family.
Don’t just ask what they do for a living, ask what drives them to go every morning, what is their biggest challenge, and where they would like to go from there.
When they say something that impresses you, give them a real compliment.
Remember their name. People love to hear their own name and feel special when you remember it.
Your old mindset of “How can I be good enough for this person? has now changed to “Is this someone I want in my life based on what I’m learning about them?” and this cultivates a mindset of abundance.
It forces you to make an honest evaluation of people and takes them off that pedestal. You will no longer feel desperate to fit their mold and you will have the courage to walk away from those who aren’t a good fit for you.
You will grow in confidence. In turn, that confidence attracts not only more people, but the right people.
Now that you have people interested in you. Don’t forget to treat them the same way you treat those closest to you.
When you are setting out of your house on an evening out, are you excited and looking forward to having some fun and connecting with new interesting people? Or, does the little voice in your head sabotage you before you even arrive by whispering that you won’t meet anyone you like?
If you set your intention before you arrive at your destination – if you decide that you are looking forward to meeting people with interesting stories to tell – if you see yourself having a great time – you are setting yourself up to succeed. You will be laying the groundwork for making new friends, dating and even falling in love to happen.
An amazing story~Don’t miss it
But if you set out expecting that the man or woman of your dreams will be there with outstretched arms waiting for you, you are setting yourself up to be disappointed and also missing out on a real gem.
We have all been guilty of judging. It’s a natural human trait. But it is self sabotaging behaviour. You meet some new people and make a judgement about them because of their hairstyle or the colour of their shoes. This moment of judgement could stop you from getting to know them and you could be missing out on a wonderful friendship.
Judging others is really only hurting ourselves. It’s no reflection on the other person.
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~ Wayne dyer
If you find yourself slipping into that mode of noticing negative things, be committed to looking for opportunities that bring you pleasure. The delicious food, a spectacular view or the person you just met who gave you a tip about real estate. Notice the lovely smile on the person with the purple shoes.
And that person with the very different hairstyle, could be the most interesting person in the room.
“If you judge a book by it’s cover, you might miss out on an amazing story”
You are not imagining it. Women don’t always tell you exactly what they want.
But that doesn’t mean you have to stay in the dark.
There’s a logical way to shed some light on what women want when it comes to approaching, flirting, and getting a woman’s number.
She won’t tell you this
With a little help, you will know how to essentially read a woman’s mind in these crucial areas so you can know what she wants, without her actually saying it to you.
One of the things you should never expect a woman to tell you is when to approach her. She might tell you. But if you expect it, you could be missing out on a a potentially great connection.
You can never expect a woman to say, “I’d like you to approach me now.”
Even if she really wants you to approach her, she is not likely to come over and let you know.
She doesn’t want to be approached by every man. Only the ones she feels comfortable around, if not attracted to. As long as you are relaxed, that’s important. Even if she isn’t attracted to you, or has a boyfriend, she’ll still feel flattered.
What is the best way to approach her and make sure it goes well?
The most important thing is you have the attitude of, “I’m just going to say “Hi”. With no huge expectations. Whatever happens is great.
If she responds negatively, there are 3 possible reasons.
1. She’s not as nice as she looks.
2. She’s having a bad night.
3. I came off wrong because I’m still learning how to approach well.
That’s it! No other reasons. It’s definitely not “Oh, i guess I’m just very unattractive!”
None of those reasons is personal to you. They are either about her, or your skill level. And that is able to be improved.
You may have some room for improvement in the way you behave, the way you present yourself, but some of the reasons don’t have anything to do with you in particular. It is very important for your success that you don’t take rejections that have nothing to do with you personally.
Every second you spend worrying about them is a second you could invest in approaching another woman who wants to get to know you.
You may be meeting her for the first time, or you could have been on a few dates already, but how do you know if she is into you? Here are a few simple things you can watch out for that will give you some hints.
Is she responding or ignoring?
When you send a text, or leave a voicemail, does she respond to your attempts at communication? If she does, that a good sign. With modern technology, it’s easier than ever to filter out people that we don’t want in our lives. If she wants to avoid you, it isn’t very hard. However, if she replies, responds and even initiates communication with you, it’s a clear sign that there is interest and attraction.
She is attracted to you when…
Who has her attention?
If a woman is into you, she won’t be spending a lot of time texting, checking or talking on her mobile phone while on a date with you. If there is an important call she needs to take, she will excuse herself and explain it is family, work or something that can’t be put off.
Otherwise, if she spends any time throughout the date being distracted by her phone, there’s a good chance she isn’t really attracted to you.
Does she see the funny side of it?
This one is probably the biggest, clearest sign that she is attracted to you. Humour doesn’t lie. It’s also one of the biggest attractors for women. If she laughs at your jokes, it is a clear sign that there is a connection between the two of you, because humour is a very personal thing. It also shows that she can relax around you a bit.
Is she chasing you?
Our aim is to get her to be as proactive in attracting you. Getting her to chase you a little too by phoning you, or suggesting a next outing is a step up from her responding to your calls. If she does, you don’t need to wonder if she is into you. She definitely is.
What does her body tell you?
Our body language doesn’t lie. A large part of our communication is nothing to do with the words we say. Rather, body language and tonality say far more than words ever could. When you are together, is she angled toward you a lot of the time? Or is her body turned away from you? Does she ever touch you? How does she react when you touch her? Analysing her body language is one of the surest ways for you to tell if she is into you.
She may not be doing all of these things, but if she is ticking some of these boxes, it’s a good sign that she likes you a lot.
Want to meet genuine, attractive single women in a small, relaxed group at dinner? We can help you meet the right women and have an opportunity to get to know them a little at dinner. You can let them see how great you are, and amazing outcomes will happen.
Do you have friends who are in happy relationships and all coupled up? Most of us do.
They usually have an interesting story to tell about how they came to be together. If they haven’t shared their story with you, ask them to do so. Very often you will find that they didn’t have an instant attraction. They may have met a few times before there were any sparks flying.
Although most men appear to be playing it cool, some are genuinely unsure of themselves. Many men need a little encouragement from a woman to know that you are interested.
A second meeting?
We receive requests for contact numbers after our dinners as you know. It’s a fantastic gauge that the dinner was a success and people made connections. There’s the obvious ones where a man requests a lady’s number or a lady requests a man’s number. But also many times it is for friendship as well. When single, it’s very important to have single friends to spend time with.
Once we receive a reply we pass the contact number on to the person who asked for it. But sometimes the answer is a no.
Why not catch up for a drink?
All of our members have an interesting story to tell. Why not at least catch up for a coffee or a drink? It’s a good idea to meet for a brief catchup the first time. That way if there isn’t a connection you can go your own ways. But, you may find that you have more in common that you first thought.
If your happily coupled up friends hadn’t gotten together after their first meeting they wouldn’t be together today. Say yes to another catch up.
It’s great to emphasise the positive things about being single, but having that special someone in our lives can make us feel a lot better in many ways. Family and friends are wonderful, but sometimes they just don’t fill the space that only a loving partner can fill.
Are you fantastic enough?
Having someone to share a special moment on a holiday, a sunset at the beach, to plan a special weekend away with, or to show off your cooking skills, is life at its best.
For some people it seems so easy. Do they know something you don’t? Are they a better catch than you? I doubt it, but maybe there are some skills that can be brushed up on to help you make a shift so as to become more attractive to a future partner. Meet him at our dinners here
There is only one you
Create and radiate your personal style and let it reflect exactly who you are. Wear the clothes that make you feel great and emphasise your best mental and physical attributes. Spend your time doing the things that make you feel excited and fulfilled.
Make people feel good
Everybody wants to feel loved and valued. Treating everyone you come into contact with in this way, makes you instantly attractive whether they are partner material or not. It isn’t that difficult to smile, look someone in the eye and say hi, listen to them and show an interest in what they think and how they feel.
Qualities are important
If you want to attract someone who is fit, energetic and lives a healthy lifestyle, reflect that yourself. If you want to attract a motivated, successful achiever, “radiate” that outlook on life.
Where do the people you want to attract spend their time?
If you want to meet a successful professional, then taking a golf membership at an exclusive club or attending our A Table for Six dinners is probably better than looking in personal columns.
Don’t be needy or insecure
Take a look at your behaviour and determine any issues you may have about trust. Neediness is often associated with a shortage of trust, and sometimes a fear of abandonment. If you are doubting someone’s feelings towards you or their loyalty, ask yourself why you don’t trust. Is it because of something they did, or is it because of something someone did in the past? If you really care for this person and they have earned your trust, give it to them. Meet him at our dinners here
It’s important to focus on what you would like and to take steps to accomplish it. But, someone who has a fun life doing the things that they love can be very attractive. If you don’t think that you are fantastic, there’s a good chance that others won’t either.