Tag Archives: Table for Six

A new romance? It’s never too late

A new romance? It’s never too late

No matter whether you’re 35 or 75, it’s never too late to fall in love again. Just ask some of our members who have been surprised how they have found love and it has taken them by surprise.

A new romance? It’s never too late

A new romance? It’s never too late

listen to the stories of people’s lives when they join A Table for Six. Everyone has such an interesting story to tell. Here is an example “I’ve been single for a while now and I’m quite comfortable. My friends are wonderful and I enjoy my work. I love my home and I’m very grateful for my  family. Overall I’ve become very good at being single. But sometimes I really miss having a partner to share my life with. Someone to talk, snuggle and grow with. I’m afraid that after a divorce, it may be too late for me.”

I also listen to the stories of the members who have found what they were hoping for, long after they they thought that was possible.  Does this happen by accident or is it just good luck. Or is there something special they had done or changes they had made to connect with a partner at any age?

There is often a similar theme. They are people who had come to terms with the idea they may not ever find a special someone again. But, they had also done some inner work on themselves that meant they felt worthy of love. They had also reached a point where they were ready to accept a partner as he/she is and were ready to be accepted unconditionally by him/her.

They see their new relationship as peaceful with less drama. They have learnt from all of their previous experiences in their past relationships. Is their new love someone who is identical to them? No, but they share values and a commitment to bring out the best in each other. Each one is dedicated to the development of the other.

One couple I checked in with recently told me that their first year was hard. She was cleaning and tidying while he didn’t clean or pick up. He loved to watch some TV while she didn’t watch at all. Then they refocused on loving each other a lot and that’s the most precious thing in the world. She accepted him the way he is and didn’t worry about the little things. He was more considerate of her love of neatness, and made more effort to help out. She joined him to watch some TV that interested her too. He remembered to show his appreciation to her.

“As you follow this path, you will find that compassion and acceptance replace fear, negative judgement, and worry. You will approach dating with curiosity, fascination, and a light heart, wanting only what is good for yourself and another person. Instead of choosing a partner based on images, pretense, and roles, you will be able to join your journey with another and learn what it means to create a spiritual bond that is flexible and expansive for both.”

from “If the Buddha dated by Charlotte Kasl

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Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311A Table for Six

Why some men almost always get the woman’s number

Why some men almost always get the woman’s number

I’m sure you have heard the dating advice about the “Fear of Failure”. Should you ask the woman for her number?

This traditional Chinese proverb offers some wisdom.
“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask is a fool for ever.”

Maybe you’ve heard this quote by Wayne Gretzky, former National Hockey League superstar.
“One hundred percent of the shots you don’t take don’t go in.”

One guy decides to use this wisdom and asks and fails…over and again.

Guy number 2 decides not to ask for any woman’s number. Even though he meets women he finds attractive and have shown interest in him.

Why some men almost always get the woman’s number

Why some men almost always get the woman’s number

The moral of the story? You can’t win if you don’t try…true enough!
Or “Don’t let the fear of failure hold you back”.

Guy number one didn’t lose anything by asking. But he probably felt a bit deflated. He might have decided there was something wrong with the women he was meeting. However, if he continues to keep asking, he is certain to eventually get a number and a date.

Let me ask you a question!

Would you tackle a crocodile the same way more than once if it meant you came off worse?

Or borrow money from the mafia to pay your debts more than once?

There would be serious consequences!

People who try to do this, don’t live very much longer.

So, fear of failure is a very healthy thing!

But, there is another guy in this story… Guy number three.

Guy number three realises that attractive women get asked for their number or a date a lot. He needs to stand out. How to get the positive response he is looking for? He doesn’t want to waste his time. He wants to meet his special woman sooner.

There are many ways to stand out from the crowd (of men) and impress when asking for a contact number or date.

When you meet a woman you are attracted to…listen and observe! First, listen for her name. If you missed it, there is nothing wrong with asking her again. Call her by her name when you are speaking. It will help you remember it, and she will like it too.

Listen to the things she is interested in. There are a myriad of clues in there to help you in the future.

We have a standard “contact request” message we send. But, what if you asked us to send something special like this?

“Cassandra, I know you love Italian food. “I know this place..it’s not far from your area… they make  the absolute best beef ragu with the most delicious tomato and red wine sauce. The beef is so tender it melts in your mouth. And they have the coldest beer anywhere on earth. Would you like to go there with me sometime soon?”

OR

“Felicity, you mentioned you love jazz music! My favourite jazz band play a fantastic night of  soul soothing and booty-shaking tunes. Would you like to join me for an evening of toe-tapping and great music and atmosphere?”

There is no guarantee this will have the desired response, but maybe she will be very impressed that you took interest in her and what she had to say. It could be a refreshing change.

Why not try this next time you meet a single woman at dinner that you find attractive? We will be delighted to send your personalised contact request.

Our goal is that you have the best possible experience at our dinners and events and especially that you have the best possible chance of getting a contact number of that special woman you met.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

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Are you a repairable writeoff?

Are you a repairable writeoff?

My husband decided it was time for a different motorbike. To make space in the garage, that meant selling the one he had owned for some time.

He was happy that it didn’t take very long before he had someone interested in buying the outgoing bike. His excitement about buying the new one was pretty evident. He couldn’t talk about anything else.

The prospective buyer came around, inspected and approved the bike my husband was selling. The buyer put down a substantial deposit and said he would be back in a few days with the balance of the amount owing and to collect his purchase.

As you can imagine, my husband was visualising his new bike in the garage, planning trips he would take on his new set of wheels. He could hardly sleep because of his excitement.

Are you a repairable writeoff?

Are you a repairable writeoff?

The morning came of the day when the sale was to be finalised. A phone call from the purchaser came in, to confirm his arrival later that day we presumed. Wrong! The purchaser had conducted an online search that uncovered that the bike was “a repairable write-off”. The sale was off. This was a complete surprise to my husband. It wasn’t disclosed when he had purchased this bike. It didn’t show any visible signs of any repair and it performed well every time he rode it.

However, it had been labelled… “A repairable write-off” “Mild structural damage to the front.”

This made me think about humans and the collisions/disasters that we go through. Particularly in regard to relationships. The devastating breakups, the long drawn out divorces, the betrayals and the sad losses of dear loved ones.

When we meet someone new, we usually can’t see any visible signs of any disasters of their past.    However, their performance or behaviour is where we can see glimpses into their past, or see the results of a lot of repairs.

As humans, we are all completely repairable. In fact, in our case, we can be a much improved version of ourselves after going through disappointment, sorrow, loss, grief and despair.

After losing a precious loving partner, we can learn to value and appreciate every moment with a loved one. We can learn from our mistakes we made in previous relationships. With enough honest self reflection, we can clearly see why an unhappy  relationship ended. We can be more aware of our own behaviour and also notice the bad choices we have previously repeated in choosing a partner.

I’m sure you have all met people who are still in need of more repairs. There are even some people who don’t believe they had any part in their disasters. It was completely the fault of the other party.

The most amazing people are the ones who have been through some tough times and have come out the other side much wiser and smarter. If we are involved in a number of accidents, then we are the common denominator. Its time to take a different approach to gain a different outcome.

Of course, repairs are always ongoing…small cracks appear and need to be attended to. Fill them with love and compassion for yourself and also for all the other “repairable write-offs”.

P.S. My husband rode the bike he wanted to sell to the buyer’s home to return his deposit. The buyer had second thoughts and decided he wanted to buy it anyway… AND the shiny new one is in our garage. I have a happy man.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

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“In Sickness And In Health”

“In Sickness And In Health”

Have you said those words? If so, when you did, I’m sure you said them with the very best of intentions.

When considering if you are interested in dating, getting to know and perhaps marrying a partner, do you really think about what those words mean?

“In Sickness And In Health”

“In Sickness And In Health”

Some of the more common considerations made are if they could bring offspring into the reunion. Or, what is their extended family like.? Perhaps their financial situation and their temperament.

Yet, few people really consider something that is a vital question – can I suffer with this person?

Suffering is an inevitable part of life. No one escapes it in the long run. As we get older we come to know that suffering is not a rare occurrence. It is a common aspect of life.

Sorrow comes in many forms, yet it is guaranteed to come. Something that is important to consider is that not everyone suffers well.

Some people are unable to face the realities of life that are difficult. Some are easily overcome by life’s difficulties and are unable to cope at all.

Those who are able to put these difficulties into perspective, know they can count on themselves to deal with it, and simply put one foot in front of the other are an inspiration.

Who do you want beside you when the doctor says “I’m sorry there is nothing we can do.”

On whose shoulder do you want to lean when you tragically lose a family member?

With whom do you want to lay beside when you don’t know whether your child will ever come home?

When the world seems a crazy place, in whose eyes do you want to look?

Find someone who suffers well. You may be more attracted to a beautiful smile than someone who shows quiet determination. You may think it is more important to have interests in common than to have a quiet internal strength.

When challenges appear, you will appreciate someone by your side who believes in you, someone who encourages you and continues to have hope no matter what is put in front of you.

Having someone beside you who knows that suffering will come and go will make a huge difference. The best partner to have will confront sorrows with you. They will be able to laugh and cry with you. And, most importantly, they will offer support and hope in all of life’s challenges.

The best possible thing you can get out of a relationship is that you’re with someone who encourages you to be the best version of yourself every day.” ~Nishan Panwar

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

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Set yourself apart as a gentleman

Set yourself apart as a gentleman

The basic fundamentals of dating and courting a woman have not really changed over time. Your goal should be to set yourself apart from other men she has met and dated by showing a woman that you are genuinely interested in her, and that you will continue to  put in an effort to do so – not only on the first few weeks of dating, but for the long term (potentially forever).

Set yourself apart as a gentleman

Set yourself apart as a gentleman

Does this sound like too much work and effort to you? Think about this: The right woman will love and care for you and will always exceed or match your efforts. Both of you making an effort together makes the dream work. It is far more rewarding and you will have much more fulfillment by putting an effort into one relationship with a special woman you truly love, than it is to put short term effort into always meeting a new woman a few months later because you didn’t put in the effort and attention your special woman deserved.

As a gentleman dating in the modern era, you can easily set yourself apart by how you carry yourself, your presentation, and very importantly, how you treat others. To make a good impression, hold higher standards for yourself than most of the male population. Being a male is a matter of birth, being a man is a matter of age, but being a gentleman is a matter of choice.

But let’s cut to the chase, what can you do, realistically, in today’s dating world to attract a mature woman who is tired of playing games?

Stay humble
If you want people to have a high opinion of you the key is not to tell them how brilliant you are.

Bragging to a woman on a first date about a recent promotion, or your brand new car, and how many properties you own, may seem like harmless ways to share good news.

However, self-promotion often backfires. Men often get the trade-off between self-promotion and modesty wrong. A man will mention his money as a means of winning a woman over. Unfortunately, sometimes this works. But most of the time, a woman requires so much more from a man than an impressive bank statement, and the kind of man who talks about his money at length, probably doesn’t have much else.

In modern times, women make their own money and have their own possessions. They  are not always impressed by yours. Sure, she will want to know you have some ambitions and want to match her efforts in life, but bragging about who you’ve met or what you drive or where you live, will send her running in the opposite direction.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

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How important are shared values?

How important are shared values?

Some people believe that to find a perfect partner, they need to find someone who shares the same interests, hobbies, falls within a certain age group or looks a certain way.

How important are shared values?

How important are shared values?

Of course, nobody is perfect. Everyone has some flaws or baggage if they have lived a life. But to find someone who has the right attitude with a few flaws is more realistic. For a relationship to survive in the medium to long term, it is more important to share most of the same values.

When our members join A Table for Six, we do take information on these interests and also their values. Some people have spent more time on deciding what is important in a car than their relationship. So take some time to list your top ten values . Then when you meet someone, you have a gauge to go by. Don’t expect them to be 10’s on every single item on your list, at least a 6 and preferable an 8 or 9.

Some of the more common core values might be;

1. They believe that family is very important.

2. They believe that maintaining a healthy work/life balance is important.

3. They believe that honesty is of utmost importance and trust must be earned.

4. They believe, or don’t believe in God or have an affiliation with a religious institution.

5. They believe in maintaining a healthy body.

6. They have a belief in being responsible in handling finances.

These are also values you might list as important to you;

Loving, nurturing, fit, inspiring, positive, motivated, fun-loving humorous, creative, honest, consistent, open-minded, committed, loyal, dependable, adventurous, passionate, respectful, athletic, educated, respected.

To really know if someone you meet has these values may take time. It is very well if they say they have them, but  a core value is only a core value if the person lives by them, at least most of the time.

So what do you want? It’s good to have high standards, but who do you need to become to attract the person with these qualities you have listed? Is it time to look within yourself and ask if you are someone a person with these values would be attracted to? This is the real question and where the biggest opportunity of change lies! It can also be hardest. Start putting a plan together for your life.

Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward

Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward

Relationship breakups are never easy. The end of a relationship with someone you really care about can cause more pain than most events in your life.
Even if you were the one to instigate the breakup, you will most likely feel a whole range of emotions during the coming weeks and months.
Maybe you can look back now and clearly see the signs that trouble was coming. Or maybe, you still can’t work out how this happened.
Men don’t tend to acknowledge their emotions and feelings and are even less likely to discuss them. So there’s a lot less written about about their side of the situation.
But they certainly feel the range of emotions from disbelief, anger, sadness, loss, depression but sometimes relief.
Studies show that men  might even be affected more by breakups than women.
There are a lot of different variations of breakups. And every relationship is unique. Here are some coping strategies to help single men through those bleak, dark days after a breakup.

Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward

Relationship break-up? Best way to move forward

Feel the emotions and move through the pain

From childhood, men are discouraged from showing their emotions. “Be a man” and “big boys don’t cry” are phrases meant to hold those feelings in and don’t dare show them. During a relationship breakup, a man may have such strong emotions it overwhelms the instinct to suppress them. Instead of trying to hold them in, just allow them to wash over you. Feel them and know that you are going to feel bad for some time. It is better to really feel those emotions and work through them. To push them down will mean that they will manifest in a different (worse) way.
It may be tempting to cover up your feelings in temporary distractions such as drinking, drugs or working too much. This may help to distract you from the pain temporarily, but it may prolong the healing process that is necessary to move forward.

Don’t go all out to try to get her back

If your partner did the breaking up, you may feel tempted to go all out to win her back with flowers, poems and gifts. Unfortunately this may just come across as desperate. They could just need some space and showering them with over the top gestures will just make them feel pressured. If they are truly the one for you, no such huge gestures will be needed. You can’t force someone to want to spend their life with you or love you.

Quality sleep helps in moving forward

Sleep can be affected. Your mind is going crazy and can be out of control going over what went wrong. Those conversation you had or wished you had. And what you wish you had done differently. iTunes have a lot of recordings that are effective in helping to replace that mind chatter with peaceful sounds to help you drift off and to get some quality sleep.

Do something for yourself

The temptation to wallow in self pity or sadness can be strong. You are going to have to really take strong positive steps to use this time to your own long term advantage. It’s a good time to take up a new interest. Perhaps something you always wanted to do but couldn’t while you were in the relationship. Doing something creative, like playing a musical Instrument can be therapeutic. Even if you are not normally the creative type. If you would prefer to be more active, it is a good time to be more focussed on fitness. Being active has proven positive effects on mental and emotional well being.

Enjoy being single
There is a positive side to being single. There will come a time when you move from being miserable to realising some of the sacrifices you made in the relationship to keep the harmony. Make the decision to do something you wouldn’t have done when you were in the relationship. Go out with your mates to an all you can eat bar b que meat meal, go and watch some of the fight championships or stay in and watch Batman films.  It’s about enjoying your new single status. It’s making the most of an otherwise painful situation.You may even feel empowered when you realise that you now have the freedom to do the things that make you happy.

Buy a gift for yourself

Spoil yourself by purchasing something that makes you happy. No need to empty your savings account, but sometimes when you are feeling low a hit of retail therapy can give you a boost. Maybe you have put off upgrading your golf clubs, or buying that motorbike you’ve dreamed of owning. Recognise and acknowledge that you can make you own choices to do what makes you happy.

Get away

Taking a holiday away after a relationship breakup is truly expressing your new freedom. It will be different for each man, but the beauty is that you alone can choose. You don’t need to take anyone else’s wishes  into consideration. Take a road trip with no bookings or definite plans. Take a hiking holiday in the wilderness to reconnect with nature. Take some time to find the real you who could be a little wiser now.

Take a step back to look at the failed relationship objectively. Try not to blame anyone. I’m sure you can recognise there were things you could have done differently too. We are all just doing the best we can with what we know at the time. One day you may look back and recognise that the things you have learned from this failed relationship have enabled you to learn and grow and to enjoy a new amazing relationship. When you know more, you can do better.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

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Surround yourself with the kind of people you want to meet

Surround yourself with the kind of people you want to meet

“Just have patience, the perfect person will come along when the time is right.”

If you’ve been single for a while, I’m sure you have heard this many times. You probably don’t enjoy hearing it. We have all become accustomed to having what we want, when we want it.

If you  find yourself at a green light with a driver in front who is day dreaming, how many seconds do you wait before you toot the horn? And waiting for someone to answer a phone call when you’re kept waiting is another top frustration.

But when it comes to finding a partner, they are absolutely right -when the time is right, your person will come into your life.

The best plan is to lead your day-to-day life in a way where you’re enjoying yourself, surrounding yourself with and meeting the kinds of singles you want to meet so that you’re not always ‘on the hunt.’ Then you won’t have that desperate vibe of being at a venue only to meet your next date.”

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photos-friends-very-good-restaurant-clink-glasses-image29016753

Are you living your dream life? I’m not talking about material possessions you wish you had. Take time to think about your decisions and where  you’re headed in the important areas of life, such as your social life. If there is even a single thing you could do right now to make your life better, go for it. Take control of your life and actively design it as you go along.

Being single and having friends who are a happily dating or married can leave you feeling like a 3rd wheel. It can make you want love more than anything in the world, and it’s natural to feel lonely or sad if you can’t find it. But love yourself and love spending time solo, and finding ways to stay interested and excited about life without a significant other. This will make you feel even better when that special person comes along!

“Never say someone completes you.
You have to feel complete all on your own.
Instead, look for someone to complement your completeness”

Love yourself and enjoy yourself this weekA Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

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Dating goals, actions & amazing outcomes

Dating goals, actions &  amazing outcomes

If you set goals every year about your social life, but haven’t been able to reach them, you are not alone. But fortunately, there’s a way that could make the difference. You won’t be all talk and no action any longer.

Set a timeline for your goals and let’s call it S.M.A.R.T. Business consultants have used this acronym for many years and it’s proven to work, if you follow the guideline. So why not use it in the most important area of your life-your goals of finding wonderful, supportive friends and/or a partner who wants a real, long term relationship.

How to attract the perfect person for YOU

Dating goals, actions & amazing outcomes

Just because you haven’t reached your goals of finding new interesting people to spend time with, or dating people who make you feel alive and vibrant doesn’t make you bad, lazy or incapable. You just needed the best tools to help you.

Specific
If you set a vague goal like “I want to start meeting more eligible Singles”, how will you know when you have reached your goal?

More specific goals provide you a guide on how to get there. Breaking it down into steps will stop you from feeling overwhelmed.

Questions like these will get you on the path.

Who:               Who is involved?
What:              What is it that I want to accomplish?
When:             Establish a time frame to have attained the goal.
Where:           What are your requirements and constraints.
Why:               Your specific reasons and purpose of accomplishing the goal.

These questions will lead you to ask yourself questions like these.

Do I want to meet a lot of single people or focus on meeting a partner?

What activities do I enjoy where I could potentially meet other Singles I would enjoy meeting?

How much time do I have to spend sourcing potential singles before I meet them?

How much time do I want to spend attending events etc. meeting Singles?

What could I do to give myself a better chance of meet desirable Singles? Such as a new hairdo or loosing some weight.

Measurable
Establish a way of measuring if you are on track to attain your goal. How many and how much are great questions to ask yourself.

How many events will I attend per month?

How many follow up coffee or drinks dates will I have?

What other steps have I taken this month to present myself in my best light?

Attainable
Now that you have defined the desires that are most important to you, you’ll start to imagine yourself attaining them. You’ll think of ways to make them happen.

If you know you can attend one singles event weekly, and you start doing so, you’ll notice that your confidence will grow. You’ll feel like you are on track and your goal is attainable.

Realistic
A realistic goal is something you are willing and able to work towards. It may be a high or low goal.

You may want to simply expand your social circle to include three new friends this year. (That would be great, wouldn’t it?) Or a high goal may be to meet your potential life partner in six weeks.

Time Frame
Without an end date to your goal, there is no sense of urgency. The date you wish to accomplish your goal will fuel you to act on things that you sometimes may want to delay till later.

Here’s an example of a vague goal:

I want to meet more Singles and a partner.

Here’s an example of a specific goal:

I want to meet a life partner by 30th June. I will attend two singles events and will follow up with four people I meet every week for six months.

Hope this helps you attain everything you wish for yourself this year.

Start enjoying the dating journey this weekA Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

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Last chance for dinners this year

Last chance for dinners this year

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The dinners this weekend are the last ones for this year. I hope you’ll join in on a dinner this Saturday. We will be on leave next week 11 to 19 December for a much anticipated break.

Last chance for dinners this year

Last chance for dinners this year

We are truly grateful to you for choosing us to go on your (singles) journey with. You are  our  highly valued customers and it has been a sincere pleasure serving you this year.

We hope that you have enjoyed the dinners and learned a little about being single, and about yourself as well. We will continue our efforts to meet your expectations in the future as well. Meanwhile, your unwavering support and patronage is what gets us out of bed in the morning. Each one of you is to be congratulated for being pro-active, positive and for stepping outside of your comfort zone to make a difference in your lives.

Your honest suggestions and feedback on restaurants has helped us shape our service to best fit our members.

The first dinners in the New Year will be 7 January and we will be adding quite a few new restaurants for you to enjoy. We look forward to having you out to dinner meeting our fabulous members again in the New Year.

We send you the warmest wishes your way for this Christmas season.

Get my weekly blog here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311A Table for Six

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