Dating getting you down? How to stay positive.
Dating shouldn’t be too hard in 2019. There are so many apps and online dating sites, meet ups and singles bars.
Then why does it seem to be so challenging?
There is a French saying “Trop de choix tue le choix” (too much choice kills the choice). At a certain point as psychologist Barry Schwartz notes in his book The Paradox of Choice, “choice no longer liberates, but debilitates”.
You find someone nice looking. They seem to be pretty “normal” fun and bright. Your heart sings a little song. You exchange texts and messages. And then…silence!
You go on a first date and it goes well. There seems to be a connection. Conversation flows easily. You both agree to catch up again. And then…silence!
It’s only natural to feel disappointed and you might decide that dating is too hard and there are no decent, genuine singles out there.
Don’t hold on to that feeling. Let it go! It won’t serve you. There are plenty of wonderful quality people to date. And, you only need one. One that makes your heart sing.
As much as we don’t like to hear this, our state of mind and beliefs draw experiences to us. So, it’s crucial to hold on to positive beliefs about dating and every aspect of our lives.
Each date that you go on has something to teach us as well. If you do a little review after each date, looking for the positive that has come out of the experience, you will draw more positive into your next date.
Maybe the date helped you to determine things that are important to you. Maybe the date helped you to realise something you could do differently when choosing someone you would date.
Or maybe they just let you know about a great new restaurant, or a show that is coming up.
If you can stay open, curious and positive, you will always learn something and you will be well on your journey to true love.