Relationships are the most important experience in our lives. Without relationships, we are nothing. They let us know who we are. We can only experience who we are in relationship to something or someone else.
In relationships we also define and recreate who we are. We might decide that we are smarter, bigger, better at singing, happier etc. than another. We define and recreate who we are in relationship to who you are.
Here’s an interesting observation-we cannot recreate ourselves as anything that we can’t see in another. That’s interesting! We can only see in ourselves qualities or behaviours that we are willing to see in another. Anything we don’t recognise in another, we will never find in ourselves. Or, only what we see in another can we see in ourselves.
Once we understand this, we also understand that our main function in a relationship is to seek and find all of the best and highest qualities of another. Our role is to help empower others to be the best they can be. Whatever that may be for them.
So what partners do for each other is to discover and bring out, the best in each other. We are not in a partnership to take, but to recognise and encourage each other for who we really are. We understand the importance of this and see that it is our very reason for being.
Now, being in a relationship becomes a much richer experience. We now don’t need to focus on what we can get out of it. Our focus can now be on what we can give or how we can empower our partner.
That doesn’t mean that we become victims or allow them to treat us badly. Staying in a dysfunctional relationship is not what it is about. But it is giving to another and allowing ourselves to experience a love with no conditions. It is wanting for your partner what they want for themselves and the amazing thing is that once you say, “I choose for you what you choose for you” they will always want to be with you. Isn’t that what we all look for? Someone who only wants for us what we want for ourselves.