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“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” ~Anais Nin
Take one person (let’s call him Al) as seen by two different people (let’s call them Sandy and Lisa). Sandy has a suspicious nature, so she expects that people always have something up their sleeves-an agenda. After an hour at dinner with Al, she notices him checking his watch and figures he probably has a rendezvous with another woman and is trying to cut short their time together. Seeing him as sneaky and untrustworthy, she stops engaging in the conversation, and begins giving very short responses. Sandy has braced herself against Al, thinking he is a man who wants to use her or take her for granted.
When Lisa is at dinner with Al and he checks his watch, she hardly notices, but the sight reminds her to check her watch too. She realises it’s getting late. They decide to pay for the meals and walk home, laughing at the fact that both of them are early birds. Lisa is reassured by Al’s directness and finds she has enjoyed herself and the evening immensely.
Sandy because of her suspicious nature, distanced herself from someone who could have been fun and interesting. Lisa, because of her assumption of Al’s goodness, felt connected and found a potential mate.
The truth is that what we believe is usually what we see.
From “The One” by Kathy Freston