My #1 Most Important Ever Dating Tip
Let me give you a tip about dating and friendship that I have learned through 16 years of helping thousands of singles.
There is one quality that, above all determines success.
Is it wealth, intellectual qualities, physical attractiveness? No, none of the above.
There is a quality that will ensure that in a year, your dating life will look entirely different.
This is a conversation about an old fashioned quality called “kindness”.
Here’s something interesting, I find that most people I speak to believe they are considerate, have a good sense of humour and they are good drivers. Interestingly, 99% of the people I speak to believe they are young for their age.
And yet, every day there’s plenty of lousy driving out there, there’s plenty of ill-humoured, mean spirited behaviour and plenty of people who really DO look their age.
The point of this is that when it comes to how we view ourselves, we are all a bit delusional; it seems that a positive outlook is a deep-seated component of our evolutionary wiring. The “self enhancement bias” is our systematic tendency to forgo rational evaluation of our own merits and abilities in favour of unrealistic attitudes that keep our ego properly inflated as to avoid sinking into the depths of despair.
So, perhaps you think you are acting in a kind way in your dating life. Maybe you could dial it up a bit more. Take it up a notch to a whole new level.
Practising radical kindness will have a side benefit as well. You will feel much better about yourself and give an energy of confidence. Confidence is also very attractive to the opposite sex. So, do this for yourself and for others.
Every day-be kind
1. Always return emails, text messages and phone calls. Even if it is to say “I’m sorry, I don’t think we have a connection, but I do wish you well for the future.”
2. Be present. The best gift of generosity you can give in your business or dating life, is to be fully present when you are with someone. Give your undivided attention to the person you are with. If you have been with someone who did this for you, you will know how special they make you feel. So, put your phone away or turn it off and be generous with your presence.
3. Show our appreciation to others who have given you the gift of their time and attention. Say “thank you” sincerely to people who have come out to spend their time with you.
4. Be generous Foster an attitude of generosity. Be willing and even eager to invest your time, energy and attention in those you meet. Don’t be focused on deciding if they are partner material. Just give your presence without attachment or expectation.
You have opportunities to practise kindness every day of your life. Every time you send an email, make a phone call or meet singles at A Table for Six dinners. If you practise being a kind, compassionate and understanding person, you will attract the best people into your life.
No matter where you are on the kindness ladder, take it up a level and you will see the positive impact it has on your dating life and how you feel about yourself.
I see the evidence of this every week in the results that singles gain in their dating life.
Check out our upcoming dinners here