A new relationship guide by Dr Tashiro, a psychology professor, writes that singles looking for long-lasting love should limit their list on their checklist to only three. He writes that good looks and money should not be included in that list.
Dr Ty Tashiro writes in his book “The Science of Happily Ever After”, that the problem is that singles want everything in a potential partner and that results in them ending up with nothing.
He says that personality traits should be concentrated on and that the “agreeable” trait is the key to sustainable love and desire. Being agreeable will show up as someone who is forgiving, cooperative, good-natured, flexible, trusting, soft-hearted and tolerant.
Alternatively, a partner who has a quality of “Neuroticism” is someone who is prone to anxiety, depression, embarrassment, emotional instability and insecurity. Dr Tashiro says that people with this trait are the worst for relationship sustainability.
From his own research Dr Tashiro reiterates that good looks are not a a predictor of satisfying relationships, nor do they correlate to happier marriages. In fact, there is “no reliable association between physical attractiveness and relationship satisfaction,” he writes.
In regard to money, his research has shown that it does not keep a relationship buoyant, at least over a certain point.
Money does make a difference on the lower end of the scale, but for those above $75,000 there seems to be diminishing returns on happiness in marriage. “Once this threshold is crossed, there is no significant association between more wealth and higher levels of psychological well-being”, Dr Tashiro writes.
He encourages singles to be more realistic in their expectations to improve the odds of finding a compatible mate. Dr Tashiro states that society’s fairy-tale view of romance where 88% of adults believe in “soul mates” – has contributed to the fact that although 90% of people will marry in their lifetimes, only one in three will find long-lasting love.
He says that many women will search for a man who is handsome, tall and makes good money, but only about one percent of the suitors they are likely to meet will fit into this category.
Dr Tashiro states that his book is about making smarter choices and learning to weed out the undesirable traits and rethinking our views about what really matters in a romantic partner.
Our A Table for Six dinners are a great tool to use to meet singles face to face in a relaxed environment. You’ll have an opportunity to interact and also observe other singles interacting in a social situation with no pressure. They are also a lot of fun.
Here’s another story I wrote on this topic –
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