Category Archives: Dating

Real advice and proven information on dating.

Stop cheating yourself of love

Stop cheating yourself of love

A year from now you may wish you had started today

Today you woke up with the desire to finally make a change in your social and dating life. You felt motivated, inspired and ready to take the first step.

You decided to take yourself out to where you could meet some likely singles for a new relationship.

Stop cheating yourself of love

Stop cheating yourself of love

Suddenly you found out that things seem a bit more complicated, confusing and unfeasible.

You start to realise that it’s going to be neither easy or fast to meet people you relate to, have the same values as you, or want the same commitment in a relationship.

Eventually, you arrive at the point when you don’t feel like “conquering your dating life” today. However, you are sure that you’ll be ready to nail it in a while. Some day soon you will sort it out. Just not today…

Sound familiar?

Committing to big goals is hard and it’s no wonder why.  Putting off decisions to take a situation in hand is a common frailty of the human condition.

We are all bad at committing to the activities that require major, effort time and talent.

When it is hard to see the finish line, our desire to take action gradually vanishes. Then, procrastination comes into play.

Embrace the truth. You can achieve anything you desire. The only thing that is stopping you are your laziness, reluctance, and the lack of discipline. And, the major obstacle is the tendency to procrastinate.

I’m sure you have a goal to meet interesting, inquiring, engaging single people.

However, just like millions of people, you decide it is too hard and put off doing anything about it. You postpone the beginning till “someday” trying to convince yourself that there will be a better time. The weather will be better. I will have finished my studies. My children will have left home.

For many people, later often means never.

There is no doubt, you might still get there one day. However, it’s going to happen much later. The secret to meeting your new friends and partner is ridiculously simple: start now.

It’s ok to be a little slow. Because being slow is better then being stagnant. Take a look back and think how much of your precious time you have wasted over the last few years by not taking some action.

Now think how much different your life could be now if you hadn’t been procrastinating, having negative thoughts, complaining to our friends and family and feeling sorry for yourself.

Stop cheating yourself now. There will never be a better time to start. The best time is now.

Here is a powerful quote by Karen Lamb.

A year from now you may wish you had started today

Meet her/him at our dinners here

If you would like some more insight into how you can meet genuine, attractive single women at our A Table for Six, call me on 1300 885 311 and I will be happy to encourage, and inspire you.

Get my weekly blog here

A Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

Insights from one of our male members

Insights from one of our male members

A guest blog from one of our male members

Meeting the opposite sex can be a tough and tricky business. Anyone who has lived long enough knows that. Even as young as four or five years old at kindergarten boys get into trouble for pushing a girl over in the playground when in actual fact it is more than likely only because he likes her.

Going to an AT46 function or dinner can be nerve racking – if you let it. For my first dinner, I arrived more than half an hour early (I have always been an impeccably punctual person). I walked up and down the street waiting for the minutes to tick by. Once I got settled and everyone had arrived and taken their place it was a great evening. We were one of the last groups to leave and the clock read later than 11pm. I got a phone number that night and not for the first time either.

Insights from one of our male members

Insights from one of our male members

The two points I am making here are that I was prepared as well as organised and that I clearly projected the confidence that attracted the lady. Confidence and the human brain are amazing things. When you tell yourself enough times that you “can’t” do something then you probably (or even definitely) can’t. Conversely, if you believe you are capable of something then you are. I am told that women love a confident man. However, there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. And getting it right can be tricky business. Everybody projects confidence in different ways.

The organisation side of things is important too. I am a very organised person. I plan my weeks meals out the week before. I plan my business schedule and my leisure time schedule a week in advance also. If I have a date Saturday night I will pick out what I am wearing on Friday night. I will plan several days out from the date or the social event things such as how I am getting there, how much money I will take, what I will eat, how late I will stay out, and sometimes how much I will drink! Most of the dinners I have been to, I have been first to arrive. If you are running late, can’t find a park and lost, your night has not started well and could well just unravel from there. Planning is paramount.

First dates are interviews – informal ones. They are a chance to make a first impression as well as a lasting impression. Approximately three quarters of a first impression is non-verbal. i.e. appearance. Appearance is 100% in our own control. Dressing nice and looking good is easy. Whatever you say after that can be worked on. But, most of the time a member of the opposite sex has sized you up and been impressed or unimpressed before you even open your mouth.

I can back this up with personal experience. At an AT46 function earlier in the year I spent the overwhelming majority of the night speaking to a girl I would later date a few times. We had a fantastic night. She was the only girl I spoke to that night or even noticed. Yet I still got a contact request from another lady who did not even get to say hello, introduce herself or get to know me in any way. The first impression by appearance alone got her interested.

So I say – get your head sorted out (tell yourself there is a lot to like about you), have a shower and a shave, get dressed up, smile and the majority of the hard work of a first impression is done.

Good luck and all the very best.

A guest blog from one of our male members

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six

 

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My #1 Most Important Ever Dating Tip

My #1 Most Important Ever Dating Tip

Let me give you a tip about dating and friendship that I have learned through 16 years of helping thousands of singles.

There is one quality that, above all determines success.
Is it wealth, intellectual  qualities, physical attractiveness? No, none of the above.
There is a quality that will ensure that in a year, your dating life will look entirely different.

This is a conversation about an old fashioned quality called “kindness”.

Here’s something interesting, I find that most people I speak to believe they are considerate, have a good sense of humour and they are good drivers. Interestingly, 99% of the people I speak to believe they are young for their age.

And yet, every day there’s plenty of lousy driving out there, there’s plenty of ill-humoured, mean spirited behaviour and plenty of people who really DO look their age.

The point of this is that when it comes to how we view ourselves, we are all a bit delusional; it seems that a positive outlook is a deep-seated component of our evolutionary wiring. The “self enhancement bias” is our systematic tendency to forgo rational evaluation of our own merits and abilities in favour of unrealistic attitudes that keep our ego properly inflated as to avoid sinking into the depths of despair.

So, perhaps you think you are acting in a kind way in your dating life. Maybe you could dial it up a bit more. Take it up a notch to a whole new level.

My #1 Most Important Ever Dating Tip

My #1 Most Important Ever Dating Tip

Practising radical kindness will have a side benefit as well. You will feel much better about yourself and give an energy of confidence. Confidence is also very attractive to the opposite sex. So, do this for yourself and for others.

Every day-be kind

1. Always return emails, text messages and phone calls. Even if it is to say “I’m sorry, I don’t think we have a connection, but I do wish you well for the future.”

2. Be present. The best gift of generosity you can give in your business or dating life, is to be fully present when you are with someone. Give your undivided attention to the person you are with. If you have been with someone who did this for you, you will know how special they make you feel. So, put your phone away or turn it off and be generous with your presence.

3. Show our appreciation to others who have given you the gift of their time and attention. Say “thank you” sincerely to people who have come out to spend their time with you.

4. Be generous Foster  an attitude of generosity. Be willing and even eager to invest your time, energy and attention in those you meet. Don’t be focused on deciding if they are partner material. Just give your presence without attachment or expectation.

You have opportunities to practise kindness every day of your life. Every time you send an email, make a phone call or meet singles at A Table for Six dinners. If you practise being a kind, compassionate and understanding person, you will attract the best people into your life.

No matter where you are on the kindness ladder, take it up a level and you will see the positive impact it has on your dating life and how you feel about yourself.

I see the evidence of this every week in the results that singles gain in their dating life.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six

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How do you react to “kind”?

How do you react to “kind”?

A lot of the focus on dating is steering us away from true intimacy. There is a lot of importance placed on superficial things like looks, playing games and gimmicks to attract the best looking people.

This advice leads us to feeling insecure ourselves and encourages us to be unkind towards others and also ourselves.

But there has always been a wiser and more effective path to finding love. And it doesn’t involve supermodel looks or playing games.

How do you react to “kind”?

How do you react to “kind”?

There is a lot of focus put on the belief that immediate physical attraction is the be all and end all of finding enduring love. An extensive study conducted in 1985 by evolutionary psychologist David Buss explored the most important traits people rate in finding a mate.  His finding was clear.The quality people valued most in a potential mate was not physical attractiveness. Neither was it their wealth, youthful appearance, strength or self-confidence. People valued kindness and understanding the most.

Everywhere we are bombarded by advertisements and articles on building a better body, dressing better, or a new secret way to attract a mate. I’m guessing that you haven’t read any articles lately that give importance to kindness in dating?

There is no denying that physical attraction is tremendously important in our choice of a mate. Yet, have you ever met a man or woman who looks great, and when they open their mouth to criticise their friends, your opinion of them changes dramatically?

Someone who is physically attractive, well dressed and well groomed becomes very unattractive when they treat a waiter poorly or speak badly about someone when they leave the table.

Physical attraction has been proven to be much more complex and open to interpretation than we’ve been led to believe. Instant attraction is overemphasised in finding healthy, long lasting love. And, very attractive people struggle just as much to find true happiness in their relationships.

How can we use this information to have a better outcome in dating ourselves? There are two skills that are essential that we can use to form our guidelines for wiser dating. Firstly, we need to ensure we are operating from a foundation of kindness and understanding ourselves. The second is to be discriminating and only choose people who live by these same values. This will change your experience of dating and finding long lasting love.

Next time you are dating, try practising a little more kindness and understanding. I’m sure you will change the quality of your dates.

Require the same treatment from the people you date. Be discriminating about who you date. Choose those who have a kind and understanding nature. It will make your life happier.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six

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This one very important thing we can control

This one very important thing we can control

“Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you” ~Frank Tyger

That’s hard to hear isn’t it? We can’t really blame our parents, our upbringing, the economy or anyone else. It would be so much easier if we could. We’ve all heard people complaining that they didn’t  have the upbringing or the opportunities. Possibly we’ve even gone down that road ourselves at times.

But, you know, in reality, it’s a very good thing. The people I’ve observed who have overcome a situation, or become successful in any area of their life, have had one thing in common. They have been persistent in developing the skills they needed to  get there. They didn’t waste their energy blaming a lack of opportunity, or other people. They just kept going. Sure, they failed at times.

This one very important thing we can control

This one very important thing we can control

Remember when you see a man at the top of a mountain, he didn’t fall there.”~Unknown

I think it is pretty exciting when you think about it. There are a lot of things in life that we don’t have control over. But, this one very important thing we do. Our own future in in our own hands and it will take some patience, perspiration and mostly perseverance. And at least we know it’s possible.

Would you like to make a change in your Single/Social life? If you would, we are passionate providing opportunities for you to meet like-minded singles who would like to have genuine friendships and genuine relationships. Come on over to our website www.atableforsix.com.au and register interest. Or, email me on info@atableforsix.com.au

Get my weekly blog here
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
License 3338670A Table for Six

Create the most wonderful luck you can dream of

Create the most wonderful luck you can dream of

Do you know someone who seems to be very lucky? They have met a wonderful partner and they are very happy and enjoying a close loving relationship.

Do you believe that they are just lucky? Most of the people I know who have had success in relationships (or in any other area of life) have not just been drawn out of a life lottery  to receive this blessing. It may appear to you that they just went out on their first evening as a single person and this perfect person just appeared. But behind every overnight success there is a lot of resilience.

Create the most wonderful luck you can dream of

Create the most wonderful luck you can dream of

You see, we all make our own luck.  Luck is about showing up in life with an open attitude. It’s about believing, connecting, seeing opportunities, showing up, being consistent, loyal, and living life fully open and boldly. Being lucky is about a whole lot of resilience and persistance.

So many people expect that they should have everything they desire straight away. We live in a quick fix society where many things are available at our fingertips. But the important things in life are worth waiting for and they don’t usually happen overnight. People don’t want to hear that a lot of preparation and persistence is needed to attain what they want.

If you go out and someone says something to upset you, you can choose how to react. You can choose to let them spoil your evening, or you can choose to let it go. You can even choose to be empathetic to them. What could have happened in their life today to make them act this way?

People who understand that they are working towards an outcome, know that we hold the power to create our own experiences and everything that happens to us. In any given moment we have the opportunity to experience a bad moment or to observe positive things and enjoy a great moment.

The person you know who seems so lucky because they went out and met their partner most likely went out on many occasions with an open, loving attitude to the people they met. They possibly didn’t always feel on top of the world. They possibly didn’t always feel like being positive and making an effort to ensure they engaged with everyone. But they know that how you act and react to to others is key to how happy you are in your life.

Create the most wonderful luck you can dream of. So go out and create the most wonderful luck you can dream of.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

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Stop that attitude of procrastination

Stop that attitude of procrastination

No matter how much we have achieved in any area of our lives, true fulfilment can only be found in one thing: the emotional quality of our personal relationships. ~Tony Robbins

Stop that attitude of procrastination

Stop that attitude of procrastination

What do you think about that quote? It certainly rings true for me. Everyone wants to have financial security and to be able to enjoy the freedom of knowing they can have the possessions, experiences and creature comforts they desire. But have you ever noticed that plenty of people such as celebrities or the mega wealthy are among the most unhappy, screwed-up people on the planet?

And yet, so often, we forsake our personal relationships and the time and attention we could devote to making this area of lives much better. Instead, we work ridiculous hours or put our heads in the sand thinking that something will change by itself.

Here is just one of the ways you can create new or better relationships.

Have a warm and open attitude to new people.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
Anais Nin

You are going to feel some nervousness and that voice in your head may tell you not to do it. But, being open to meeting new people and breaking through the inner resistance, will be much more rewarding.

Our members are amazing and awesome. They have that nervousness and resistance too. But they are proactive and know the rewards that follow when they make the effort to be friendly, open and accepting of the people they meet. That’s why it is my ultimate pleasure to be able to facilitate these experiences for them.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

How important are shared values?

How important are shared values?

Some people believe that to find a perfect partner, they need to find someone who shares the same interests, hobbies, falls within a certain age group or looks a certain way.

How important are shared values?

How important are shared values?

Of course, nobody is perfect. Everyone has some flaws or baggage if they have lived a life. But to find someone who has the right attitude with a few flaws is more realistic. For a relationship to survive in the medium to long term, it is more important to share most of the same values.

When our members join A Table for Six, we do take information on these interests and also their values. Some people have spent more time on deciding what is important in a car than their relationship. So take some time to list your top ten values . Then when you meet someone, you have a gauge to go by. Don’t expect them to be 10’s on every single item on your list, at least a 6 and preferable an 8 or 9.

Some of the more common core values might be;

1. They believe that family is very important.

2. They believe that maintaining a healthy work/life balance is important.

3. They believe that honesty is of utmost importance and trust must be earned.

4. They believe, or don’t believe in God or have an affiliation with a religious institution.

5. They believe in maintaining a healthy body.

6. They have a belief in being responsible in handling finances.

These are also values you might list as important to you;

Loving, nurturing, fit, inspiring, positive, motivated, fun-loving humorous, creative, honest, consistent, open-minded, committed, loyal, dependable, adventurous, passionate, respectful, athletic, educated, respected.

To really know if someone you meet has these values may take time. It is very well if they say they have them, but  a core value is only a core value if the person lives by them, at least most of the time.

So what do you want? It’s good to have high standards, but who do you need to become to attract the person with these qualities you have listed? Is it time to look within yourself and ask if you are someone a person with these values would be attracted to? This is the real question and where the biggest opportunity of change lies! It can also be hardest. Start putting a plan together for your life.

Are you ready for a new relationship?

Are you ready for a new relationship?

Relationships are not black and white. Is the old relationship really dead? Should I be going out to meet someone else? Or should I just wait to see how my old relationship pans out? Sometimes we struggle to know when is the time to take the step to see who else is out there for us.

Are you ready for a new relationship?

Are you ready for a new relationship?

You may be missing the companionship of the opposite sex and would like to take the plunge and start meeting new people. It is important that you have dealt with any relationship baggage before you return to the dating scene. Perhaps you could ask yourself the following questions to learn if you are ready to move on, or are still dealing with a past relationship.

Are you able to speak of the past relationship without feeling angry or bitter about the way it ended. This kind of reaction may be a turn-off to potential new love interests and may indicate you are still grieving.

If your ex contacted you to rekindle the relationship how would you respond? If your immediate response is to take him/her back, you might not be ready to participate in a new healthy relationship.

Do you talk about the relationship or your ex a lot? If you find yourself in conversations with your friends or family that lead to a story involving your ex, the situation is still very much  at the forefront of your mind and you may need to take more time to heal any hurt caused by the breakup.

Can you speak of the relationship in a positive way? Recounting stories, accepting the relationship for what it was, realising what you may have learnt from this relationship is a strong sign that you are moving on. If you still get anxious or upset when you see your ex or look at a photo, you might need more time to heal.

Everyone’s journey is different and we all take different amounts of time to grieve. But do encourage yourself to let go and move on. Once you feel you are ready, try going out and having fun without it needing to result in a relationship straight away. Give yourself positive self talk and remember that good things still await you and you will find that someone special at the right time.

Our A Table for Six dinners are a great way to ease yourself back into the singles social scene. There’s no pressure and you will be able to practise enjoying the company of a lot of different people. We’re here to serve you and to help ease you back into dating.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

 

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A Second meeting?

A second meeting?

Do you have friends who are in happy relationships and all coupled up? Most of us do.

Instant attraction?
They usually have an interesting story to tell about how they came to be together. If they haven’t shared their story with you, ask them to do so. Very often you will find that they didn’t have an instant attraction. They may have met a few times before there were any sparks flying.

Although most men appear to be playing it cool, some are genuinely unsure of themselves. Many men need a little encouragement from a woman to know that you are interested.

A second meeting?

A second meeting?

Friends first
We receive requests for contact numbers after our dinners as you know. It’s a fantastic gauge that the dinner was a success and people made connections. There’s the obvious ones where a man requests a lady’s number or a lady requests a man’s number. But also many times it is for friendship as well. When single, it’s very important to have single friends to spend time with.

Once we receive  a reply we pass the contact number on to the person who asked for it. But sometimes the answer is a no.

Why not catch up for a drink?
All of our members have an interesting story to tell. Why not at least catch up for a coffee or a drink? It’s a good idea to meet for a brief catchup the first time. That way if there isn’t a connection you can go your own ways. But, you may find that you have more in common that you first thought.

If your happily coupled up friends hadn’t gotten together after their first meeting they wouldn’t be together today. Say yes to another catch up.

Get my weekly blog here
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311A Table for Six

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