Category Archives: Finding love

Why can’t my love find me?

Why can’t my love find me?

When it comes to finding a beautiful relationship, there is something that we can easily forget.

You see what you give to yourself, you can give to another and what you don’t give to yourself, you can’t give to another. The best thing you can do is to develop your relationship with yourself.

Why can't my love find me?

Why can’t my love find me?

Your thought pattern should NOT be, “Please send the perfect man or women to me,” but rather, “How can I develop myself to make me the man or woman who my life partner would quickly find and deeply love.”

The way forward is not to long for the perfect love that might come to us in the future, but rather love, respect and care for the people who are around us right now.  Everyone we meet, is special and has value. Our ability to recognise the unique qualities and gifts in everyone we meet is key to our ability to both attract and keep a more intimate partner.

One of the ways to do this is to be genuinely curious and engaged in conversation with others. To give others our attention and interest is a gift that they will feel. It is quite rare to find someone who will give their undivided attention and listen. Most people are not really listening. They are deciding what they will say as soon as the other has finished speaking.

To build loving relationships, shift the focus from what you will get out of it. Focus on giving care and attention to those around you and and how they will receive value from what you offer.

To transform your life and enjoy loving relationships, focus on empathy, careful listening, curiosity and love. These are the gifts we can offer to others and the gift we can receive in warmth and gratitude.

Offer those gifts to others and also tap into your unique talents and skills to determine how you can add value to the lives of others. Soon you will see that the more you give, the more you receive in return.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au

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A Table for Six

Insights from one of our male members

Insights from one of our male members

A guest blog from one of our male members

Meeting the opposite sex can be a tough and tricky business. Anyone who has lived long enough knows that. Even as young as four or five years old at kindergarten boys get into trouble for pushing a girl over in the playground when in actual fact it is more than likely only because he likes her.

Going to an AT46 function or dinner can be nerve racking – if you let it. For my first dinner, I arrived more than half an hour early (I have always been an impeccably punctual person). I walked up and down the street waiting for the minutes to tick by. Once I got settled and everyone had arrived and taken their place it was a great evening. We were one of the last groups to leave and the clock read later than 11pm. I got a phone number that night and not for the first time either.

Insights from one of our male members

Insights from one of our male members

The two points I am making here are that I was prepared as well as organised and that I clearly projected the confidence that attracted the lady. Confidence and the human brain are amazing things. When you tell yourself enough times that you “can’t” do something then you probably (or even definitely) can’t. Conversely, if you believe you are capable of something then you are. I am told that women love a confident man. However, there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. And getting it right can be tricky business. Everybody projects confidence in different ways.

The organisation side of things is important too. I am a very organised person. I plan my weeks meals out the week before. I plan my business schedule and my leisure time schedule a week in advance also. If I have a date Saturday night I will pick out what I am wearing on Friday night. I will plan several days out from the date or the social event things such as how I am getting there, how much money I will take, what I will eat, how late I will stay out, and sometimes how much I will drink! Most of the dinners I have been to, I have been first to arrive. If you are running late, can’t find a park and lost, your night has not started well and could well just unravel from there. Planning is paramount.

First dates are interviews – informal ones. They are a chance to make a first impression as well as a lasting impression. Approximately three quarters of a first impression is non-verbal. i.e. appearance. Appearance is 100% in our own control. Dressing nice and looking good is easy. Whatever you say after that can be worked on. But, most of the time a member of the opposite sex has sized you up and been impressed or unimpressed before you even open your mouth.

I can back this up with personal experience. At an AT46 function earlier in the year I spent the overwhelming majority of the night speaking to a girl I would later date a few times. We had a fantastic night. She was the only girl I spoke to that night or even noticed. Yet I still got a contact request from another lady who did not even get to say hello, introduce herself or get to know me in any way. The first impression by appearance alone got her interested.

So I say – get your head sorted out (tell yourself there is a lot to like about you), have a shower and a shave, get dressed up, smile and the majority of the hard work of a first impression is done.

Good luck and all the very best.

A guest blog from one of our male members

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six

 

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Forgive yourself, you’re smarter now

Forgive yourself, you’re smarter now

Our friends and family are telling us to “move on”. “It’s time to get back out there”, they say. Leave the past and your dating mistakes behind.

I would like to suggest that it isn’t the ex who treated you badly you need to forgive. It isn’t the former partner who cheated on you or took advantage of you that you need to put behind you.

More often we need to love and forgive our former selves. You need to love the you that you have outgrown. You may have disowned the parts of yourself that were not as evolved as you are now. The parts that allowed others to treat you in a less than respectful, loving way.

Until we recognise those less evolved, still learning parts of ourselves, we can not take full power and responsibility for our current and future selves.

Forgive yourself, you're smarter now

Forgive yourself, you’re smarter now

Until we  see our former selves with compassion and forgive ourselves, it can be difficult to move on to healthier, more grown up relationships.

Think of your former self as you would a younger brother or sister. They were just doing the best they could with what they knew at the time. Love and forgive them and appreciate that you are now wiser and have much more self respect.

Then you can “move on” with confidence knowing you will attract a generous, kind love who brings unconditional acceptance.

Be kind to yourself.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six

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Attitude is everything in finding a partner

Attitude is everything in finding a partner

There are some attitudes that are proven to give us a higher likelihood of finding a long-term partner, or even to gain so much more enjoyment from our dinners.  If we embrace these attitudes, it could very well mean that we will find a “Mr or Ms Right’ a lot sooner. The attitudes that are included in this category are:

  •     When you meet someone with whom there is no chemistry, you adopt the attitude not to write them off straight away.
  •     You know how to be charming, and you’re not just saving it up for the right person. You are generous and show it to everyone you meet.
  •     You make an effort to be friendly with everyone you meet, regardless of whether they meet your expectations.
  •     You look for the good qualities in every person you meet.
  •     You know you can never have too many friends and you welcome new people into your life.
    Attitude is everything

    Attitude is everything in finding a partner

    Take the pressure off yourself and commit to just having some fun along the way. It’s the type of attitude that men find very attractive – being happy, confident and not focused on whether they are marriage/partner material.

    Commit to having fun, and I predict you will enjoy the process and have people standing in line to spend tine with you.

    Thank you to our members who already know this. That’s what makes our A Table for Six dinners so successful.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

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Are you fantastic enough?

Are you fantastic enough?

It’s great to emphasise the positive things about being single, but having that special someone in our lives can make us feel a lot better in many ways. Family and friends are wonderful, but sometimes they just don’t fill the space that only a loving partner can fill.

Are you fantastic enough?

Are you fantastic enough?

Having someone to share a special moment on a holiday, a sunset at the beach, to plan a special weekend away with, or to show off your cooking skills, is life at its best.

For some people it seems so easy. Do they know something you don’t? Are they a better catch than you? I doubt it, but maybe there are some  skills that can be brushed up on to help you make a shift so as to become more attractive to a future partner.
Meet him at our dinners here

There is only one you
Create and radiate your personal style and let it reflect exactly who you are. Wear the clothes that make you feel great and emphasise your best mental and physical attributes. Spend your time doing the things that make you feel excited and fulfilled.

Make people feel good
Everybody wants to feel loved and valued. Treating everyone you come into contact with in this way, makes you instantly attractive whether they are partner material or not. It isn’t that difficult to smile, look someone in the eye and say hi, listen to them and show an interest in what they think and how they feel.

Qualities are important
If you want to attract someone who is fit, energetic and lives a healthy lifestyle, reflect that yourself. If you want to attract a motivated, successful achiever, “radiate” that outlook on life.

Where do the people you want to attract spend their time?
If you want to meet a successful professional, then taking a golf membership at an exclusive club or attending our A Table for Six dinners is probably better than looking in personal columns.

Don’t be needy or insecure
Take a look at your behaviour and determine any issues you may have about trust. Neediness is often associated with a shortage of trust, and sometimes a fear of abandonment. If you are doubting someone’s feelings towards you or their loyalty, ask yourself why you don’t trust. Is it because of something they did, or is it because of something someone did in the past? If you really care for this person and they have earned your trust, give it to them.
Meet him at our dinners here

It’s important to focus on what you would like and to take steps to accomplish it. But, someone who has a fun life doing the things that they love can be very attractive. If you don’t think that you are fantastic, there’s a good chance that others won’t either.

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Be warm and friendly this week, A Table for Six
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
info@atableforsix.com.au
lic no 3338670

There’s never a better time than now to let love in

There’s never a better time than now to let love in

For singles, every day represents a defining point. Your life can be astounding, or just another day. Life can be rich with adventure, love and experience. Or, it can be mundane and predictable. This drastic contrast is the end result of our thoughts, and life choices. Singles who have an amazing life have worked to attain it. They have spent time developing their life in the direction they wish it to travel. They have expanded their mental and physical horizons. They have maintained an attitude of curiosity and wonder and they see the glass as half full. They have spent some time doing inner work and are consciously aware.

There’s never a better time than now to let love in

There’s never a better time than now to let love in

Singles may rationalise their inaction . Our inner voices may sound very reasonable when they try to talk you out of moving out of your comfort zone. Have you noticed any of these lurking in your mind? (from Let love In by Debra Bernt)

Procastinator. I’ll start dating next month, next year when I lose weight, when I fix myself, when my kids grow up.
Worrier. I’m afraid of rejection. Online dating is dangerous.
Skeptic. There is no use in trying. There is no one out there for me. I will never meet anyone.
Judgement. Men/women suck. They are not worth my time. Stay away!
Beginner. I don’t know the first thing about dating, and I am not ready to put myself out there.

When singles are lazy about improving their dating life, nothing happens. You have the ability to draw the right person to you, but this won’t happen if you don’t leave the house. Your opportunities to meet someone greatly increase when you go places that other singles frequent.

Break the cycle, there is never a better time than now to make changes in your life. Be open to new opportunities.

The art of love is largely the art of persistence

The art of love is largely the art of persistence

Find a partner who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on them, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the one who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of their friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much they care and how lucky they are to have you…. The one who turns to their friends and say, ‘that’s her.’ ~ Unknown

The art of love is largely the art of persistence

The art of love is largely the art of persistence

Do you feel like you are always dating the wrong people? I often hear from Singles who contact us that they are tired of dating the wrong people and repeating a pattern that ends in a bad relationship.

Sometimes they choose people who just aren’t available for a genuine relationship. It may be that they have not moved on from a previous relationship, or they are just not emotionally capable of a healthy relationship.

Sometimes they date people who have lied to them and falsely represented themselves. Only after dating them  for a while they discover that this person has a addiction, or isn’t as financially secure as they claimed.

If you recognise that you are continually choosing the wrong people to date, then stop and think about your pattern of behaviour. Try to understand where those choices come from, recognise them, and make different choices next time.

Your friends or family may be able to help you with this process as sometimes they can see a pattern of behaviour easier than we can ourselves. You could even seek the help of a therapist.

Most importantly, if finding a loving partner is high on your list, treat it as a priority. If you were looking for a suitable job, you wouldn’t stop applying for suitable positions. What could be more important than finding a partner who compliments you and your life? So be proactive and make smart choices that will have you out meeting potential partners.

Here is a quote that says it all…

Albert Ellis
The art of love… is largely the art of persistence.

A Table for SixMargaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

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10 things that shouldn’t be repeated in relationships

10 things that shouldn’t be repeated in relationships

We have all made mistakes in relationships. Sometimes our mistakes have a catastrophic effect on our lives. And sometimes we can see with clarity what went wrong quiet quickly.

10 things that shouldn't be repeated in relationships

10 things that shouldn’t be repeated in relationships

But to have successful relationships, the important thing is to recognise our destructive patterns, make different choices, and then keep our awareness focused so that we don’t go back to making bad choices.

In his book “Never Go Back”, author Dr Henry Cloud lists ten insights that will keep us from sabotaging our lives in a repeating pattern. His method is based on grace, instead of making ourselves feel guilty for past mistakes.

Dr Cloud lists these insights as things never to return to;

Return to what has worked. We should never go back to something that ended and expect different results.

Do anything that requires them to be someone they are not. We should ask ourselves questions. Does this suit me? Is this sustainable? Why am I really doing this?

Try to change another person. We can only ever change ourselves, never another person. People will learn their own lessons in their own time as part of their journey.

Believe you can please everyone. When we chase the goals of others instead of pursuing our own dreams, we are not being guided by our instinct. Whatever you do, it should come from who you are and your unique gifts and talents.

Choose short-term comfort over long-term benefit. Successful people understand that they may need to step outside their comfort zone and experience some “pain”. They understand it will give them a long-term benefit and follow through.

Trust someone or something that appears flawless. We are all attracted to perfection, exceptional or high performing people. But life and people are rarely perfect. If someone or something appears to have no flaws, proceed with caution.

Take their eyes off the big picture. There will always be days when we loose sight of our overall aims and goals. Move on and refocus. The whole story is written over weeks, months and years, not a single day.

Neglect to do due diligence. Always take the time to take a look into the background and find out the details. You owe it to yourself.

Fail to ask why they are where they find themselves. To regularly ask themselves what part they are playing in the current situations in their lives, is one of the most important characteristics of successful people. They understand they are not victims, but create their own circumstances.

Forget their inner life determines their outer success. Who we are on the inside and the beliefs we hold about ourselves largely contribute to our external circumstances.

Achievers recognise the mistakes they are making and to decide to never repeat them. Don’t worry; there are always more lessons to learn.

Use what talents you posses.
The woods would be very silent
if no birds sang except those that sang best.”
~Henry Van Dyke

Let your unique gifts and talents shine this week,
Margaret Newitt
Franchisor
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
lic no 3338670

A Table for Six

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231 Days until Valentine’s Day 2017

231 Days until Valentine’s Day 2017

Tonight when you lay your head on your pillow, will you feel good about the extra overtime you did? Will you feel pleased about the getting to work a little earlier and staying later to complete those extra tasks? There are 231 days until Valentine’s day 2017. When you look back, will you feel extra happiness because you were the highest achiever in your office? OR will you wish you had made time to create more pleasure in your life? Will you wonder who could have been by your side enjoying Valentine’s day with you?

231 Days until Valentine’s Day 2017

231 Days until Valentine’s Day 2017

Recently, I have been aware that for many people taking the step to join our dinner groups, or for that matter any new group of people, can be a frightening thought. People who are successful and confident in most areas of their lives can feel daunted and self conscious when it comes to taking a step to meet new friends or a partner.

Our expertise is in aiding people to get what they really want in what is the most important area of their lives. We have the vehicle and can  help you with the tools to find your new set of friends or partner. The people we work with make permanent changes in their lives.

Here are some tips to help you enjoy meeting new singles.

1. Have an open mind and focus on the positive possibilities when meeting new people.Suspend your judgements and concerns and especially don’t read negative things into them or the situation. Be positive, open and notice the laughs and interesting opinions.

2. Put your focus on them and really listen to what they are saying. Notice their body language, eye contact and smiles. Don’t; get stuck on your own thoughts and concerns.

3. Everyone has an interesting story to tell. Have a curiosity about their lives and try to find their unique perspective.

4. When meeting new people, keep the conversation on positive and fun topics. Asking about dramatic, Traumatic and negative events will bring the conversation and mood down.

5. Share your good stuff too. Share a little about yourself that you particularly like too.Teach them something about yourself as well. Let them be curious about you too and share some fun and interesting information.

Here is a review written by a lady who regretted waiting so long to join in on our dinners.

Don’t let your nerves hold you back for 2 years like mine did……...

5 out of 5, reviewed on Feb 09, 2016
Margaret this is a wonderful business, its only my second dinner but for me to ‘get out’ there was nothing short of a miracle.

I must say how delighted I am to have found people in the same boat, its amazing we all think we are the odd one out and no one else is out there ……well Table for 6 surely has provided opportunities and ‘safety’. Nothing quite like it, I really did not believe there was anything that I would feel comfortable at so thank you so very much.

It took me about two years to actually work up to joining………. Laughing out loud now at hesitating.

People really are so similar with the most basic of needs to have wonderful friends and maybe find that special ‘one’.

Cannot thank you enough 

Cathie Bayliss

We want our members to overcome their fears. Try something new and different, so you can have the results you desire. And a different result when you lay your head on your pillow in the near future.

There are 231 days until Valentine’s day 2017.

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

A Table for Six

Meet at dinner? 8 good reasons

  • Who will I meet at dinner? Before you attend our dinners, remind yourself that you may meet the man/woman of your dreams. But, even if you don’t, he/she may live next door to them. Or, you never know, he/she may invite you along to meet a group of their friends with lots of interesting singles. Someone at dinner may just inspire you to get involved with a hobby or interest you have been putting off for so long. They may inspire you to book that trip to Europe you have been dreaming of.
    It’s important to be pro-active in  going out to meet at dinner, but it’s not possible to know how a partner may appear to you. The most important thing is to remember that even if you don’t meet a partner at a particular dinner, it will lead to new, diverse, interesting experiences you would never have enjoyed and discovered if you hadn’t attended.Mid age couples enjoying meal
    This is who you will meet at dinner.

    They are tired of Singles who lie about wanting a real, long term relationship.

    They need opportunities for Singles to meet at dinner where there’s no pressure and it’s all about having fun and making new connections first.

    They crave meeting people and having that feeling of “Ah, these people really get me.”

    They haven’t been able to figure out where to find all the decent Singles who have dealt with their baggage and have an open heart.

    They struggle to deal with Singles who just want to be able to tick off their list of requirements.

    They secretly yearn to meet someone who makes the journey seem like the time is right, the place is right and the connection is definitely right.

    They are looking for their new best friend.

    They want to have that special connection with a partner who treats them with love and kindness, expressed through kind thoughts, loving words and kind actions.

    “Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
    — A.A. Milne
    Do any of these resonate with you?
    Are there any others you would add to our list?
    Is that the sort of person you are?

  • Subscribe to my weekly blog here
    Margaret Newitt
    www.atableforsix.com.au
    info@atableforsix.com.au
    1300 885 311