Category Archives: Relationships

There’s never a better time than now to let love in

There’s never a better time than now to let love in
For singles, every day represents a defining point. Your life can be astounding, or just another day. Life can be rich with adventure, love and experience. Or, it can be mundane and predictable. This drastic contrast is the end result of our thoughts, and life choices.

Singles who have an amazing life have worked to attain it. They have spent time developing their life in the direction they wish it to travel. They have expanded their mental and physical horizons. They have maintained an attitude of curiosity and wonder and they see the glass as half full. They have spent some time doing inner work and are consciously aware.

Singles who have an amazing life have worked to attain it

Singles who have an amazing life have worked to attain it

Singles may rationalise their inaction . Our inner voices may sound very reasonable when they try to talk you out of moving out of your comfort zone. Have you noticed any of these lurking in your mind? (from Let love In by Debra Bernt)

Procastinator. I’ll start dating next month, next year when I lose weight, when I fix myself, when my kids grow up.
Worrier. I’m afraid of rejection. Online dating is dangerous.
Skeptic. There is no use in trying. There is no one out there for me. I will never meet anyone.

Judgement. .All the good men/ women are taken. It is not worth my time to try. Stay away!
Beginner. I don’t know the first thing about dating, and I am not ready to put myself out there.

When singles are lazy about improving their dating life, nothing happens. You have the ability to draw the right person to you, but this won’t happen if you don’t leave the house. Your opportunities to meet someone greatly increase when you go places that other singles frequent.
Break the cycle, there is never a better time than now to make changes in your life. Be open to new opportunities this week.

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

A Table for Six

Choose a new empowering perspective

Choose a new empowering perspective

Many of our members have found themselves unexpectedly single.  Perhaps, like me, they lost someone through illness. Or their relationship ended because they grew apart. In any of these situations, there is a period of grief.

The end of any relationship means the end of a whole phase of your life. The end of shared happiness, fears and plans for the future. Every relationship has its own story and every ending is hard in its own way.

This week, I am going to focus on my perspective about the loss of my relationship. I am going to ask myself this question, “Does my perspective serve me and who I am becoming?”

In my case, it is very reasonable to feel disbelief, sadness and anger. But does that empower me to become more peaceful and accepting? I can be sad and angry about the sudden loss of Reg. I can ask why and what if, but will that help me create acceptance and a peaceful mindset?

So, I’m going to as myself, “How can I see this differently?

I was lucky to have such a wonderful relationship. We had a lot of good times. He taught me a lot about what is really important in relationships.

The important thing is not to come up with a rose-coloured glasses interpretation that feels too unrealistic. A new perspective that feels empowering will help you move forward to how you would like your life to be.

If you had a  relationship break up and you didn’t want to, it can be a bitter pill to swallow. You wonder how they could so easily turn their back on you and all that you shared. Getting stuck in  the “how could they? ” and the “they didn’t realise what they had” will stop you from seeing the big picture.

Change your thinking from “If only we had done this differently” to “What can I learn from this and take with me into a future relationship?”

Maybe you stopped getting to know each other and spending special time together. Maybe you both forgot to prioritise each other and to being a team. There will be a lesson in the ending of the relationship that you can apply in your life and future relationships.

I know I won’t achieve that mindset all of the time. If I can change my perspective even for  a little while, I know I am headed in the right direction.

“It’s not only moving that creates new starting points. Sometimes all it takes is a subtle shift in perspective, an opening of the mind, an intentional pause and reset, or a new route to start to see new options and new possibilities.” — Kristin Armstrong

I hope you can adopt an empowering mindset about relationships this week.

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

A Table for Six

 

What The Foxtel Guy Could Teach Us

What The Foxtel Guy Could Teach Us

 A random stranger can bring hope and a little ray of sunshine in sad times.
Friends and family have been visiting and checking on me since Reg’s passing. And in recent weeks, I needed to update some of my Foxtel equipment. One morning, Trev, The Foxtel Guy was updating and installing new equipment at the same time a friend was visiting.

Trev obviously overheard some conversation and when my friend left he asked if there was anything he could do to help. As we do, I assumed he was just being polite. After thanking him, I said  replied “no” and he left.

To my surprise, later that day, Trev was at my door with a cheerful smile and a small but very pretty bunch of flowers. He handed me the flowers and a card, saying “I just wanted to show you that a random act of kindness from a stranger can brighten you day. Everything will be alright.”

Trev could teach us about giving and receiving. The same qualities that stop us from happily giving, are the same ones that make us uncomfortable about receiving. Often it is our insecurities, lack of self esteem and self love that hold us back. If we don’t love ourselves, then we don’t trust why someone would be kind to us.

Since I have shared this with my family and friends, Trev’s story has touched everybody. He certainly made a difference to me and I’m sure he will be repaid in some form.

Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. — Scott Adams

Contact us at A Table for Six to take a step in the right direction to meet other singles looking for genuine friendships and genuine relationships.

Checkout our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

A Table for Six

 

Some universal truths about relationships

Some universal truths about relationships

I find it difficult to write about myself and my journey through grief and learning to live in a whole new world with out my partner Reg. My own life was not a tropic I included very often in my blogs. But, everything changed recently.
And many have shared that they are following my journey. I would like to let you know that I am doing as well as can be expected.
Friends and family lovingly let me know that I have to go through this journey. I do understand that it can’t be avoided. And, I utilise any tool that could help me. The ones I have turned to so far are, meditation, listening to uplifting podcasts and audio-books, repeating affirmations out loud, making sure I eat healthy and getting quite a bit of exercise each day. Of course, surrounding myself with loved ones is one of the best treatments.
One of our members kindly drew my attention to a recent article in the newspapers written by Kerrie Sackville. She had started dating again after divorce and made some interesting pointers. I’m sure many of them will resonate with you.

You can’t heal a broken person with your love. They must heal themselves.
– You need to pay attention to your instincts. If something feels wrong to you it probably is.
– The most important thing you can do for your love life is to be okay with yourself.
– You need to really enjoy your partner’s company. If you don’t then there’s no point in staying together. And if you do, then most other things become bearable.
–  A wicked sense of humour can be a great aphrodisiac.
– The more interests and friends you have of your own, the more you will bring to your relationship.
– You can be perfectly happy with your partner and still be attracted to others.
– You never need to apologise for your partner’s bad behaviour. They are responsible for themselves.
– If someone goes cold on you, you can’t force them to fall back in love with you. It is out of your hands.
– Great sex can keep a relationship going long after its expiry date.
– It really helps if you like each other”s friends and family.
– If you find yourself physically repulsed by your partner, it’s all over.
-There is no painless way to end a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to go. They’re still going to be horribly hurt and you’re going to have to suck it up.
-You can’t be “friends” with an ex while still in love with them.
– The way you feel about yourself when you are with your partner will tell you everything you need to know about your relationship.
– Men can be such a pain in the arse. But gosh, they’re endearing.

 If you would like to read the full article, here is a link.


Margaret Newitt

www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

A Table for Six

 


With courage, gratitude and acknowledging the beauty of each day

With courage, gratitude and acknowledging the beauty of each day

First of all, I would like to give my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has sent messages of condolence on the passing of my partner Reg on 20 April. Your personal messages have been a comfort during a time of great upheaval as I come to terms with Reg’s loss. The support of my family and friends has been wonderful. There has been so much love.

With courage, gratitude and acknowledging the beauty of each day

Many of you bravely shared your own stories of loss and grief. I know that my life is going through a huge change. I know that many of you have gone through this experience, or something different but no less challenging.

Thank you also for allowing me a little time to heal. Whilst the journey of grief can be long and unpredictable, I want to now focus on providing our dinners to you again. And now, with a new and deeper understanding of how it can feel to find yourself without a loving, life partner.

All current memberships periods will be extended by two months. Dinners are now on the events pages again for you to register your interest.

I am looking forward to getting back to what I do best…providing opportunities for you to meet like, minded singles. Not only that, but making new friendships and love connections.

with courage, gratitude and acknowledging the beauty of each day,

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

A Table for Six

 

Want a different dating result? Change your thoughts

Want a different dating result? Change your thoughts

Are you are holding on to negative beliefs about finding new friends, meeting a suitable partner and dating? Your mind is very powerful. The stories you tell yourself can either hold you back and prevent positive change in your life or they can allow new wonderful people to come into your life and new relationships to blossom. Even the most optimistic of us can be guilty of this at times.

Want a different dating result? Change your thoughts

Want a different dating result? Change your thoughts

It’s always interesting when speaking to new potential members. Many have reached a point where they know they need to be proactive and are ready and open to what (and whom) will come into their lives and where it may take them.

Others have created problems and scenarios in their own mind before they have even stepped out the door for their first dinner. YOUR beliefs can either help or hurt you!
For example,  “I’m not good at meeting new people. ” or “I will never meet anyone as lovely as my late husband/wife.”

Limiting thoughts and beliefs create the same problems that repeat themselves in different relationships. Habitual negative thoughts run on autopilot,  and if you believe them, you can’t change your life and solve the same problems that can keep arising in different relationships and situations.

Your thoughts determine your feelings, and your behaviours and actions are determined by your thoughts. With negative thoughts running unchecked in your mind, it’s difficult to feel good about yourself. When your behaviour and actions come from feeling bad about yourself, you won’t get good results.

In order to achieve a different result, stop and check those negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones that are just as true or even more true.
An example would be, if you believe there are no good men/women out there, you’ll continue attracting men/women who are not good for you. When you stop this negative thought and replace it with one that serves you,  you’ll open up the possibility to attract  a wealth of new friends and even a partner to share your life.

Start meeting new people and expect to have an enjoyable time, meeting interesting people and don’t quit on yourself.
If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree.” ~Ji Rohn

Replace your thoughts with positive ones this week

Checkout our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

A Table for Six

Last chance for Singles dinners this year

Last chance for Singles dinners this year

The dinners this weekend are the last ones for this year. I hope you’ll join in on a dinner this Saturday. We will be on leave for two weeks 10 to 27 December for a much anticipated break.

Last chance for dinners this year

Last chance for dinners this year

We are truly grateful to you for choosing us to go on your (singles) journey with. You are  our  highly valued customers and it has been a sincere pleasure serving you this year.

We hope that you have enjoyed the dinners and learned a little about being single, and about yourself as well. We will continue our efforts to meet your expectations in the future as well. Meanwhile, your unwavering support and patronage is what gets us out of bed in the morning. Each one of you is to be congratulated for being pro-active, positive and for stepping outside of your comfort zone to make a difference in your lives.

Your honest suggestions and feedback on restaurants has helped us shape our service to best fit our members.

The first dinners in the New Year will be 6 January and we will be adding quite a few new restaurants for you to enjoy. We look forward to having you out to dinner meeting our fabulous members again in the New Year.
Checkout our upcoming dinner introductions here

We send you the warmest wishes your way for this Christmas season.

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

The one question singles hate the most at Xmas

The one question singles hate the most at Xmas

The one question singles hate the most! It’s the question that can turn any calm, confident, rational single into a rage and knock your confidence for six. And Christmas gatherings are the perfect opportunity for your Aunt, Uncle or distant cousin to toss that question at you.

Why are you still single?”

The one question singles hate the most at Xmas

It can make you feel as though you  are not a complete person because you are solo.

Perhaps there are some reasons. If you want to close one eye and peep at them to make sure they are not true about you-(of course they are not!), here are some possibilities.

You haven’t moved on from your Ex. You could be holding on to an ex-partner and comparing new people to them.

Are you taking care of yourself? It’s not about the label on your clothes or the brand of your shoes. But, making the most of your appearance by dressing with pride in your appearance, having a healthy body and an up to date hairdo can make a huge difference to your appeal.

You have become cynical about dating. Anyone who has been involved in relationships has had their share of disappointments. Learn to look a it this way; a failed relationship can teach you to notice red flags next time around. It can teach you to avoid someone with personality traits that drove you crazy in your previous relationship so you don’t waste your time with another partner who acts the same way. And remember, an open heart is very attractive.

Desperation is written on your forehead. It is an energy frequency that is very easy to recognise and isn’t at all attractive. Just take a step back, enjoy whatever you are doing and whoever you are meeting. You’ll be much more attractive.

Do you have too many things on your list of requirements? Everyone is entitled to have their own list of things that are absolutely vital in a partner. I’m sure everyone expects love and respect and to be treated with consideration. Honesty, decency and a feeling of being valued should be a given in a healthy relationship.
The type of car they drive, the job they have and the size of their clothes won’t make you happy in the long run.
Having common values and goals will make any relationship work better especially during times of stress.

Do you really want a relationship? Whether consciously or subconsciously, you may not want a relationship. It could be a time of recovery and renewal after the breakup of a past relationship. Or maybe, you just prefer not to have the attachment of a serious relationship. Sometimes, being single is exactly what you want.

Next time you are asked the one question that singles hate the most, tap into your highest energy, smile and say “Just lucky, I guess!”
Check out our upcoming dinners here

You’ve met him, now to keep him

You’ve met him, now to keep him

You’ve met a great man that you really like and are attracted to. He is interested in you too. Now comes the challenge of keeping him for the long term.

You've met him, now to keep him

You’ve met him, now to keep him

Society today is focused on immediate gratification. It’s a throw away society. But if you want that elusive long term, stable, loving relationship, then it’s going to take some effort, dedication,  being humble and at times it’s going to be very challenging.

A lot of singles want to know how to get over being shy or anxious when talking to single men. They want to know how to feel confident and be able to have amazing conversations with men they are attracted to. They think this will be the one secret that will solve all of their dating / relationship problems.

Think of the advertisements you see “How to lose weight without trying” and “Get rich quick by buying this”. They are preying on people’s desperation who don’t want to put in any hard work.

A better question to ask would be “What steps can I take to become a person that would be attractive to the man I want to meet and keep for the longterm. It often only occurs to them when there has been something go wrong in their relationships. They are in a bad place and it is a knee jerk reaction when it’s too late.

This type of reactive attitude is not an effective strategy for longterm happy relationships.

You may be good at meeting and having someone attracted to you in the short term. You can portray yourself as confident and having your life on track. But, soon the cracks will show. There will be a situation that brings out your insecurity and the real you will be revealed.

If it happens enough, you may very well lose the man you care for.

For longterm healthy relationships to flourish, it requires constant effort by both parties. They prioritise each other and their love. They laugh, touch and are very connected. You know when you are with a couple who have made a commitment to each other and continue to ensure it is not only healthy and happy, but thriving.

If you would like to have a relationship like that, you need to be in it through thick and thin. Start now by checking out our A Table for Six dinners where you will be introduced to men who are equally invested in long term happy relaitonships.

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au

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A Table for Six

Where are you going? Who is going with you?

Where are you going? Who is going with you?

The words of Neale Donald Walsch who became well know from his writing of the series of books called “Conversation with God” are resonating with me at the moment. In order to hopefully pass on some useful information, I have sought out his writings on the subject of relationships. His words on this topic are clear.

Where are you going? Who is going with you?

Where are you going? Who is going with you?

The “Conversations with God” books tell us that the purpose of relationships is not to find someone to meet all of our needs, or to make us happy, but to experience ourselves in an extraordinary way. As a person who has no needs! The most important step to take is one that most people have never taken or thought too much about. We must decide who we are and who we choose to be. Not only in a significant relationship, but also to all of life.

Without having made this decision, life can be like aimlessly bumping into people and situations; becoming discontented, angry, disillusioned or frustrated.

These books announce “Masters enter into relationships – not as someone who seeks to receive, but as someone who seeks to give.” This doesn’t mean necessarily to give money or gifts, but to seek to freely give the essence of who they really are.

Walsch writes “The true and only purpose of relationship is to announce and declare, express and fulfill, experience and become who you really are…there can be only two questions that are asked with regard to human relationships:

1. Where are am I going?

2. Who is going with me?

But very few people understand romantic relationships in this way.

Walsch writes,  “The first person that I have to be truly loving with, is myself. Loving oneself does not mean being selfish. It means loving yourself enough to be authentically YOU even if it looks like doing so will cause others to depart.”

His writings say that when you speak your truth, some may depart from your life, but others will join you in a new and powerful way because they resonate with who you are. They are people who have the same intentions and the same goals and they feel a harmony with you. They may not be the same as you in certain ways. Something that is very important, he writes, is that people cannot know (and nor can you) whether or not they are compatible unless they know who you are in your truthful self.

Walsch invites us to love ourselves enough to speak our deepest truth to everyone whose life we touch. He goes on ” The willingness to lose another rather than hold them in your life under false pretenses is the highest act of love. And the irony of all this is that having the courage to share what it is that you are certain will drive the other person away—is very often precisely what inspires them to stay. For they then know that they are not living with an “image” of you, but with a reality. A truth. The authentic article. The real thing.”

In his article, Walsch finishes by inviting us to “Just tell the truth. Say the words that will be welcomed, and the words that you know will not. Be brave. Be courageous. Be authentic. Be truthful. And in so doing, be the essence of love itself.”

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six