Category Archives: dating optimism

An amazing story~Don’t miss it

An amazing story~Don’t miss it  

When you are setting out of your house on an evening out, are you excited and looking forward to having some fun and connecting with new interesting people? Or, does the little voice in your head sabotage you before you even arrive by whispering that you won’t meet anyone you like?

If you set your intention before you arrive at your destination – if you decide that you are looking forward to meeting people with interesting stories to tell – if you see yourself having a great time – you are setting yourself up to succeed. You will be laying the groundwork for making new friends, dating and even falling in love to happen.

Smiling man holding flowers over gray background and looking at camera

An amazing story~Don’t miss it

But if you set out expecting that the man or woman of your dreams will be there with outstretched arms waiting for you, you are setting yourself up to be disappointed and also missing out on a real gem.

We have all been guilty of judging. It’s a natural human trait. But it is self sabotaging behaviour. You meet some new people and make a judgement about them because of their hairstyle or the colour of their shoes. This moment of judgement could stop you from getting to know them and you could be missing out on a wonderful friendship.

Judging others is really only hurting ourselves. It’s no reflection on the other person.

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~ Wayne dyer

If you find yourself slipping into that mode of noticing negative things, be committed to looking for opportunities that bring you pleasure. The delicious food, a spectacular view or the person you just met who gave you a tip about real estate. Notice the lovely smile on the person with the purple shoes.

And that person with the very different hairstyle, could be the most interesting person in the room.

If you judge a book by it’s cover,
you might miss out on an amazing story

Check out our upcoming dinners here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.auA Table for Six
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

Save

Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress

Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress.

So often we have a big goal in mind. We know exactly what we want.

“I want a husband/wife who I adore and who adores me.”

Maybe they are nowhere in sight just yet. However, It’s important to remember and acknowledge the progress you have made towards your big goal.

Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress

Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress

Six months ago, you were newly single. Not a thing planned for the weekend, except feeling sorry for yourself. All of your friends are married or in relationships, so no  possibility of a fun night out there.
But look at you now! You’ve updated your wardrobe and hairstyle. You’re feeling much more confident. You have met some new single friends at those fitness classes you’ve joined. Maybe you’ve joined A Table for Six where you’ve had some very enjoyable evenings meeting new singles over dinner. The new friends you’ve made enjoy going out for dinner, or the movies, or to that sporting game as much as you do, so your weekends are filling up quickly now.

Don’t downplay your progress. Feelings of guilt or unworthiness can take the wind out of your sails. Charles Duhigg, author of acclaimed book The Power of Habit states: “A huge body of research has shown that small wins have enormous power, and influence disproportionate to the accomplishments of the victories themselves.”

Your confidence has grown a lot because you know there are other interesting singles who are single too.

So, track your progress. Your life is a little better every day and you are making progress. Your social life is so much better than it was six months ago.  Rather than complaining that you haven’t arrived at the big goal yet, embrace your evolution.

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” ~Martin Luther King Jr
Encourage and acknowledge yourself this week,

A Table for SixMargaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
Lic no 3338670

Save

Save

10 things that shouldn’t be repeated in relationships

10 things that shouldn’t be repeated in relationships

We have all made mistakes in relationships. Sometimes our mistakes have a catastrophic effect on our lives. And sometimes we can see with clarity what went wrong quiet quickly.

10 things that shouldn't be repeated in relationships

10 things that shouldn’t be repeated in relationships

But to have successful relationships, the important thing is to recognise our destructive patterns, make different choices, and then keep our awareness focused so that we don’t go back to making bad choices.

In his book “Never Go Back”, author Dr Henry Cloud lists ten insights that will keep us from sabotaging our lives in a repeating pattern. His method is based on grace, instead of making ourselves feel guilty for past mistakes.

Dr Cloud lists these insights as things never to return to;

Return to what has worked. We should never go back to something that ended and expect different results.

Do anything that requires them to be someone they are not. We should ask ourselves questions. Does this suit me? Is this sustainable? Why am I really doing this?

Try to change another person. We can only ever change ourselves, never another person. People will learn their own lessons in their own time as part of their journey.

Believe you can please everyone. When we chase the goals of others instead of pursuing our own dreams, we are not being guided by our instinct. Whatever you do, it should come from who you are and your unique gifts and talents.

Choose short-term comfort over long-term benefit. Successful people understand that they may need to step outside their comfort zone and experience some “pain”. They understand it will give them a long-term benefit and follow through.

Trust someone or something that appears flawless. We are all attracted to perfection, exceptional or high performing people. But life and people are rarely perfect. If someone or something appears to have no flaws, proceed with caution.

Take their eyes off the big picture. There will always be days when we loose sight of our overall aims and goals. Move on and refocus. The whole story is written over weeks, months and years, not a single day.

Neglect to do due diligence. Always take the time to take a look into the background and find out the details. You owe it to yourself.

Fail to ask why they are where they find themselves. To regularly ask themselves what part they are playing in the current situations in their lives, is one of the most important characteristics of successful people. They understand they are not victims, but create their own circumstances.

Forget their inner life determines their outer success. Who we are on the inside and the beliefs we hold about ourselves largely contribute to our external circumstances.

Achievers recognise the mistakes they are making and to decide to never repeat them. Don’t worry; there are always more lessons to learn.

Use what talents you posses.
The woods would be very silent
if no birds sang except those that sang best.”
~Henry Van Dyke

Let your unique gifts and talents shine this week,
Margaret Newitt
Franchisor
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
lic no 3338670

A Table for Six

Save

Save

Discover the love & the kind of relationship you dream of

Get my weekly blog here

Discover the love & the kind of relationship you dream of.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” ~Anais Nin

Take one person (let’s call him Al) as seen by two different people (let’s call them Sandy and Lisa). Sandy has a suspicious nature, so she expects that people always have something up their sleeves-an agenda. After an hour at dinner with Al, she notices him checking his watch and figures he probably has a rendezvous with another woman and is trying to cut short their time together. Seeing him as sneaky and untrustworthy, she stops engaging in the conversation, and begins giving very short responses. Sandy has braced herself against Al, thinking he is a man who wants to use her or take her for granted.

Discover the love the kind of relationship you dream of

Discover the love the kind of relationship you dream of

When Lisa is at dinner with Al and he checks his watch, she hardly notices, but the sight reminds her to check her watch too. She realises it’s getting late. They decide to pay for the meals and walk home, laughing at the fact that both of them are early birds. Lisa is reassured by Al’s directness and finds she has enjoyed herself and the evening immensely.

Sandy because of her suspicious nature, distanced herself from someone who could have been fun and interesting. Lisa, because of her assumption of Al’s goodness, felt connected and found a potential mate.

The truth is that what we believe is usually what we see.

From “The One” by Kathy Freston

Get my weekly blog here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

A Table for Six

A Second Meeting?

Get my weekly blog here
Do you have friends who are in happy relationships and all coupled up? Most of us do.

Instant attraction?
They usually have an interesting story to tell about how they came to be together. If they haven’t shared their story with you, ask them to do so. Very often you will find that they didn’t have an instant attraction. They may have met a few times before there were any sparks flying.

Although most men appear to be playing it cool, some are genuinely unsure of themselves. Many men need a little encouragement from a woman to know that you are interested.

A Second Meeting?

A Second Meeting?

Friends first
We receive requests for contact numbers after our dinners as you know. It’s a fantastic gauge that the dinner was a success and people made connections. There’s the obvious ones where a man requests a lady’s number or a lady requests a man’s number. But also many times it is for friendship as well. When single, it’s very important to have single friends to spend time with.

Once we receive  a reply we pass the contact number on to the person who asked for it. But sometimes the answer is a no.

Why not catch up for a drink?
All of our members have an interesting story to tell. Why not at least catch up for a coffee or a drink? It’s a good idea to meet for a brief catchup the first time. That way if there isn’t a connection you can go your own ways. But, you may find that you have more in common that you first thought.

If your happily coupled up friends hadn’t gotten together after their first meeting they wouldn’t be together today. Say yes to another catch up.

Get my weekly blog here
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
A Table for Six

 

Four ways to gain confidence in dating

Four ways to gain confidence in dating.

Get my weekly blog here
If you are clumsy, cheeky, uncertain, crazy, single, gorgeous, unorganised, super tidy, untidy or always late, you are unique and one of a kind. There is no one quite like you.

If you are ever dating someone who makes you feel like you are not good enough, remember that you wouldn’t want to spend time with that sort of person anyway. A life partner should make you feel like you are special just the way you are.

Four ways to gain some dating confidence?

Four ways to gain some dating confidence?

How to gain more confidence in dating

What can you do if you have a confidence problem?
Exercise
The effects of exercise are overwhelming and can’t be understated when you would like to gain confidence in dating. Your body releases a cocktail of endorphins that make you feel good when you work out. You will also have that sense of having accomplished something constructive that has long term benefits.

Four ways to gain some dating confidence?

Four ways to gain some dating confidence?

Learn how to dress and present yourself in the best light
Take some time and effort to assess and improve your wardrobe to gain some confidence in dating. It can have a dramatic effect on your confidence level. The colours you wear or the style of your glasses all affect the way that people view you.

Body language
Be aware of how you are holding your body. People who have movements that are more open and spread out, that take up more space-also feel confident. If you are not feeling confident, studies have shown that even faking high power poses caused people to become more confident. You may be in a situation where you don’t want to be perceived as too arrogant. Amy Cuddy disclosed in her Ted Talk “Your body language shapes who you are” that opening up your body for a few minutes prior to an important meeting or date, even in if it’s in the privacy of a bathroom, can make a big difference to gain confidence in dating.

Brush up on some current topics
Do conversations about politics, current affairs or economics make you feel unintelligent? Read up about it to gain confidence in dating. Then you will know that you can at least make some intelligent and relevant comments about current topics in the news

“Be yourself and I promise people will enjoy it. And if they don’t…forget them.”~Mitchell Davis

Get my weekly blog here

Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
info@atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311

A Table for Six

 

Acknowledge your dating progress

Don’t forget to celebrate your dating progress.

So often we have a big goal in mind. We know exactly what we want.

“I want a husband/wife who I adore and who adores me.”

Maybe they are nowhere in sight just yet. However, It’s important to remember and acknowledge the progress you have made towards your big goal.

Six months ago, you were newly single. Not a thing planned for the weekend, except feeling sorry for yourself. All of your friends are married or in relationships, so no  possibility of a fun night out there.

But look at you now! You’ve updated your wardrobe and hairstyle. You’re feeling much more confident. You have met some new single friends at those fitness classes you’ve joined. Maybe you’ve joined A Table for Six where you’ve had some very enjoyable evenings meeting new singles over dinner. The new friends you’ve made enjoy going out for dinner, or the movies, or to that sporting game as much as you do, so your weekends are filling up quickly now.

Don’t downplay your progress. Feelings of guilt or unworthiness can take the wind out of your sails. Charles Duhigg, author of acclaimed book The Power of Habit states: “A huge body of research has shown that small wins have enormous power, and influence disproportionate to the accomplishments of the victories themselves.”

Your confidence has grown a lot because you know there are other interesting singles who are single too.

So, track your progress. Your life is a little better every day and you are making progress. Your social life is so much better than it was six months ago.  Rather than complaining that you haven’t arrived at the big goal yet, embrace your evolution.

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” ~Martin Luther King Jr

Subscribe to my weekly blog here

Encourage and acknowledge yourself this week,
Margaret Newitt
www.atableforsix.com.au
1300 885 311
info@atableforsix.com.au
lic no 3338670

Would you like to meet someone who really gets you?

Do you ever feel as though you would like to meet someone who gets you? You know the feeling when you meet someone new and you really have the feeling that this person is listening and actually hearing what you are saying. You feel as though they are, if even for a moment, stepping into your shoes and experiencing your journey.

Or, would you like to meet people or a partner who appreciates what you do for them? People who acknowledge what you bring to their life? They value the time you set aside to help you move house, or even the time they happily took you out when you were feeling a little low.

Neale Donald Walsch, the author of the “Conversations with God” series of books, has this message for us: Be the source. In his “conversations”, he received this message: “I was advised by God to no longer be the Seeker, but to be the Source in the life of another of that which I had been seeking in my own life. “What flows through you, sticks to you.”

Most of us have heard the message: Do unto others, as you would have it done unto you. I think most of us interpret this as meaning that if you wish to be treated well, you should treat others well. But, Walsch interprets this to have a further meaning. “When you cause others to have the experience that you wish to have, you, too, must eventually have it.”

We have most probably read that you cannot give away that which you do not have. But it turns out that the act of giving something to another causes you to notice that you have it to give- and that you had it all along.

Walsch says that once he got this message, everything began to make sense- including the teaching that none of us is really “creating” anything, but merely noticing that is already there.

If you would like to experience a grander, more loving, more fulfilled version of yourself, this will come back to you. See the best version of another and let them know that you see it. Help them to see the grandest version of themselves by being a mirror and showing them their reflection.

Many people have listened to people who have told them they are not good enough. They have told themselves the same story and now believe it is true. If you are someone who gives others a rich experience of who they really are, you will be enriched as well.

Blessings

Margaret Newitt

www.atableforsix.com.au

1300 885 311

info@atableforsix.com.au

Lic no 3338670

Are your friends holding you back from a great relationship?

6 ways to move from single to lots of possible relationships

Do you love to get together with your friends and complain about how hard it is to meet a partner?

Does it regularly turn into a whinge session when you and your friends are relaxing and should be having a good time? Does the conversation almost always turns to “Where are all the decent, intelligent guys who aren’t married” or  “Why aren’t there any outgoing, fun loving, attractive ladies out there?” It’s a perfect opportunity to share stories of the strange people you met with online dating. You can compete for the best horror story about how you fell for a sweet, interesting girl/guy who seemed like real relationship material, only to find out they were married or a drug addict.

In no time at all you can work yourselves up  into a state of misery and start singing “Poor, poor pitiful me.”  Misery loves company and it is a coping strategy. But do you really think this is going to help your situation?

Why not be an example to your friends and change the dynamics next time you are together? Here are some suggestions that will put a different slant on the situation and maybe gain a different outcome.

If you say something enough times, it becomes true. If you constantly say that it’s too hard to meet suitable partners, that will be your truth because you won’t even see them when they are staring you in the face.

Challenge your friends to adopt a more positive attitude. Show your friends that having the right attitude will bring a different outcome – Knowing that your partner is out there and will arrive at the right time.

There is usually a leader in any group who takes the first step in a different direction. You can be that leader and be an inspiration to them. You can inspire your friends to dream more, learn more, do more and become more.

If there is a need to vent and get something off your chest, set a time limit. Two minutes should be the limit and then move the conversation on to the fun activities you have planned.

You can stick with “I’m picky”, “The best ones are all married” or “There’s not enough single men/women in my area”. But that isn’t leading you to your desired outcome.

Do you or your friends really make an effort to change things. Many singles say they do, but one of the biggest things keeping them in the same place is lack of action. Are you going to singles events and our fabulous dinners?

An ancient native proverb goes:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied,

“The one you feed.”

Blessings

Margaret Newitt

Franchisor

www.atableforsix.com.au

info@atableforsix.com.au

Ph 1300 885 311

lic no 3338670

 

Have you decided you are not dating right now?

When we were children , we had big dreams. We believed we could be anything  we wished and could have anything we desired.
What happened to those dreams?
Life inevitably sends us knocks. And then fear and doubt chip away at our dreams until they’re reduced to memories and wishes that might have been.
There are always choices. Every day we are sent opportunities, but we don’t always recognise them.
There is always a choice of which path to take. Take the same path you are familiar with and know what to expect. Or another path that is unknown and may be uncomfortable.
There’s no right or wrong. But  to never try something new or different is to play small and to rob life of the excitement of changes and challenges.

Anything that we do for the first time can be scary or difficult. It can never be as scary once you have faced your fears. One thing that we don’t think about is that there’s only one first time.
Every time we take a step out of our comfort zone to do something we haven’t done before, we always learn more than we expected to.

How do I know if I am taking the easy road? How do I know if I am choosing not to date right now?

Do you regularly do any of these activities to meet singles?

  • go to the niche places where you could meet singles. Join clubs, take classes, volunteer or do any of the things that would put singles in front of you?
  • start conversations or say a friendly “Hi” to people you meet as you go about your daily life?
  • attend social events to increase your chances of meeting someone new?
  • plan some social events with your friends and see who shows up. Make it clear new people are welcome?
  • accept every invitation to a party, wedding or gathering you are given?
  • attend community groups that services other people with a similar interests?
  • talk to people in your local coffee shop?

Without trying some new places to meet singles, you have decided you are not dating at the moment.

When we venture to places we have never been before, doing something we haven’t done before, our experience of the world expands. Usually we learn a lot more about ourselves and how we have been holding ourselves back.

Our A Table for Six dinners are a great way to meet singles, make friends or meet a partner. Explore new opportunities and make your dreams come true.

Opportunity dances with those on the dance floor.” — Anonymous

Blessings

Margaret Newitt

www.atableforsix.com.au

1300 88 53 11

Lic no 3338670